Blimey where to start, BF has a female best friend a married lady I’ve never met been together for 3 years. It’s always Maggie this or that.
Im pretty jealous of this lady soley for the fact that my partner has a deep emotional connection with her. She happens to be a therapist for a living so listens unlike me! I’ve tried changing myself, spending hours listening without giving advice and give so my empathy until I feel empty and drained.
small things started to happen at the start, he would tell me he met up with her for coffee (I had no issues with that I’m in early 50’s) thought no problem known each other few years long than me. Even stupidly encouraged it when he felt down!
however, small things were feedback, we went to this place she pretended I was her toy boy… she speaks about her sex life with her hubby saying it’s so important in relationships brings people together, her son thinks it would be wonderful as he is so much fun to be around if he moved it (this is when she was having rough patch with her husband, my BF is so loveable! Really pissed me off I hope understandably or maybe I’m petty.
she knew we was on a night out together- he gets a love heart emoji sent to him. I go mad and he implies I’m nutty and have nothing to worry about
month later, his phone on the table I love you so much my dear friend is received out of no where… WTF he said friends tell each other they love each other all the time. Sort of making out I’m crazy again. I was too embarrassed to actually ask my friends if this was normal, convinced myself she must be a hippy type of person ha! And must be normal just I’ve not experienced that. Maybe with my BF of years same sex.
anyway, I blew up and said I’m find it disrespectful and uncomfortable please stop encouraging her or allowing her to think all this stuff is ok and that your partner basically doesn’t like it - he went into you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m not telling her to stop as we are only friends we have no problem it’s only me that does and I need to grow up!
finished! Slowly got back together and her name wasn’t mentioned for a while and then all started again. He had continued seeing her and nothing any different. I said how her husband would feel if he read all their messages and I’m not being crazy (you ladies might tell me I am though) I said if you’ve got nothing to hide, can I see the context of your message No they are private between us and you obviously don’t trust me. This is a never ending battle
it’s caused so many problems in our relationship and because of it he has told me I should speak to a relationship counsellor as that’s what he was off to do. To make our relationship better, he spoke to someone twice. He said I calmly and implied it was to bring us closer. I went off to google relationship counselling, so many to choose from. I asked him how did you find the person you’ve been talking too. Low and behold Maggie recommended someone! So must have been talking about our relationship to her which the thought of I hate!!! Am I nutty or being totally disrespected