To think people can make more of an effort with their gardens

[Lovelybitofsquirrel3]

Due to circumstances changing I moved from the family home (owned, not by me, by family) to a council estate a few years ago.
Generally people don’t bother to plant anything/haven’t bothered with their gardens. There are hardly any bees, butterflies or insects that visit and I’m finding it depressing. A lot of people haven’t bothered with their gardens.
I planted potatoes last year which were never pollinated, and one or two bees visited, I don’t know where from and they died quickly.
I’m not looking for excuses as to why people don’t plant but surely it’s simple to buy a few packets of seeds and turn over some turf.

This. Maybe OP should learn a few basics of gardening before commenting on gardening.

I think a lot of people are taking op's post personally but in reality their gardens are already much better than what op refers to.
There's a social housing estate nearby and the gardens are really off-putting. This outdoor space with so much potential that can benefit the residents physical and mental health in a very effective and cheap way has just become an eye sore/ rats infested dump. And many of the people are at home for longer hours compared to people who need to work to pay off a mortgage.
No idea how to change the situation though. May be Switzerland fining people has got it right?

‘Most people don't know much about gardening and even less about wildlife gardening’

Yet there are endless gardening progs on tv ,internet, blogs,tik tok.
It’s the same with cooking. Endless progs etc
But what they don’t realise is what they are missing -there is satisfaction and reward in a beautiful rose, delicious cake. Even if the rest of the garden/meal is rubbish.

I live on a council estate (if that's even relevant) and there are lots of lovely gardens around. Our neighbours are mostly older people though so maybe it is a generational thing.

I'd love a manicured flowery garden but I've got young kids and a job and genuinely don't have the time or the energy. I have tried but all I've managed is a few pots.

The thing is when you do priortise wildlife gardening and have a few dandelions and leave seed heads on, and don't cut the grass as regularly, the manicured lawn and summer bedding plant lot think your garden is scruffy.

Most gardens would be better left to nature than the short grass and mature exotic shrub and summer bedding type of gardening which was common until very recently.

On the subject of what bees like, I planted salvia and lavender last year, they came up really quickly and we had swarms of massive bees all year long. Saw my first massive bee again last week, so early!

It's a time thing. Keen gardeners tend to be older and retired people and it was always thus when I was growing up.

Yanbu. Almost everyone should have some flowers for wildlife in their garden. Californian poppies, lavender, buddliea etc (which would survive a nuclear bomb I reckon).
Nothing needs "weeding" as the bees need dandelions. And you don't really need to tidy up much for winter as the birds need the seed heads over the winter months. Nature thrives in a half arsed garden.

This is the most spot-on post I've ever read.

Agree, the whiny litany of excuses is tiresome.

Yeah I think people are lazy. Britain has got such shit gardens. Most people I know want just flagstones basically. You don't really need to spend too much time on trees and shrubs but that's not what people want. They want grass all the way up to a bare fence, or flagstones.

The OP is largely correct.
Leaving aside the absolute horror of what urban living is doing to nature ...

Gardening is dying off because it means engaging with dirty unpredictable nature, not a nice clean screen. It means deferred gratification not instant dopamine hit. Those who say they have no time, probably go to the gym. Why? Gardening is a work out.

Many of those with kids complain the kids are stuck to screens, are overweight, don't sleep and have poor mental health - so get them gardening.

The mental and physical benefits of being outside and in nature are well researched.

It is frustrating when people don't bother with their gardens; my neighbours are like that and it does affect the number of pollinators etc. Saying that I can totally understand why it is difficult for some people to nurture their gardens and I had a spell when I couldn't do much due to illness, young children etc. However, there are some people who just don't care; they buy a house with a long garden and then cut down every single living thing and stick down astro turf (I know this person) - its awful to see and so damaging to the environment.

No, it absolutely is the full story. 50+ people have more time (no children at home, often the women in the relationship are working & have always worked PT, many of them will be retired so lots of leisure time) and more money.

Its just a symptom of a culture where both partners in a couple need to work FT just to keep afloat, the retirement age is being steadily pushed back and people have less disposable income. Fewer and fewer people have the time or inclination for gardening

I'm chronically ill. In the before times, my garden was well tended and looked fab. A few birds, bees and butterflies.
Since becoming sick, 'no mow May' became a year round thing. Dh mowed an area to sit and a few paths, but otherwise the grass is untouched (except by our natural lawnmower - bun). Done nothing more than a few pots on the patio and chucked some handfuls of wildflower seeds in neglected borders. The amount of wildlife has absolutely rocketed. I'm not sure I'll ever go back to a neat and tidy garden now.

i live in a leafy bit of town so lots of bees etc, but there’s a handful of gardens that are anything other than a hedge and a tree and a lawn or a lawn edging a paved over parking space. I hate it when you see before and after ‘landscaping’ photos where back gardens have been paved over.

it doesn’t cost much and isn’t hard to pop to B&q or garden centre, check the label for what size a flowering shrub will grow and if it’s ‘easy’, dig a hole, pop in ground and water it in, and water it with a bucket of water once a month in the first year….it’ll grown 9 times out of 10. Plant a Hebe.

i love gardening and have a garden full of stuff that needs pruned or wrapped up in winter for protection. I take cuttings, I p,ant bulbs and seeds. Because I enjoy it and I find it joyous in the summer sitting there surrounded by bees buzzing around.

but honestly planting a few bulbs and a hebe…it’s not hard and it’ll look nice and it’s not expensive.

There's definitely some truth in this.

The 10% of garden-neglecters who actually do have a chronic illness (or whatever) come on here to tell us about it, and fair enough. Meanwhile, the 90% of garden-neglectors who don't have a chronic illness (or similar excuse) post nothing and keep quiet and we see nothing about them.

The casual observer of this discussion is therefore apt to come away with the impression that "Virtually everyone who does nothing with their garden probably has a chronic illnesss." That's unlikely to be the case.

It's the same with threads on exercise and poor diet.

It's a bit taboo to point any of this out, because on female-centric forums there is a lot of pressure to "be kind," which means assuming that virtually everyone is poor, disabled and what-have-you. Having expectations of anyone is mean and nobody wants to be the mean person.

@Lovelybitofsquirrel3 I haven't read the full thread, but 2024 was not a good year for bees. It was cold and continuously wet when insects needed warmth. We have a large garden and an orchard and I can honestly say the two worst years for pollinators in my experience were 1977 and 2024.

It rains 2/3rds of the time in England. I work full time and have two (now older) kids.
I love my home and the small amount of time I get to enjoy it I like it to be clean, comfortable and cozy. Funnily enough I don't have the same motivation to tend to an amazing garden that I might get to sit in for a few weeks of the year.
Yes it's about priorities but the garden isn't one of them.
I do have a few pots and might chuck some wildflower seeds around but that's my limit, I wouldn't judge someone who couldn't be bothered doing the same though, we're not competing for Britain in Bloom!!!

I think some people should simply not buy houses with big gardens if they don't plan on using them...

There's more to it than that though.

People now seem to be buying houses with mature gardens and ripping out every living thing. It happened in the house next door to us, which used to be a woodland garden and was a haven for wildlife. I saw a post on here recently about someone buying a house and saying they planned to take out the trees and bushes. It's vandalism, pure and simple. Why not just buy a property with an already sterile garden if that's all you aspire to?

We live in a comparatively affluent north west village, the demographic hasn't really changed, there's always been a mix of retired professionals and a lot of young families.
It's not about age or status or financial stability in this area but it seems to be a modern mindset that nobody wants a garden. Peoples aspirations have changed.
I do think to some extent that it's about trends and social media. All the talk about making your garden a living area, "an extension of your living room". First it was decking now it's paving, outdoor furniture, hot tubs and astroturf, outdoor kitchens, fire pits. And lighting. The light pollution here now is insane, the birds sing all night because it's so brightly lit.

Thirty years ago when we moved here, this street was full of bedding plants, brightly coloured hanging baskets, gorgeous colourful shrubs in the front gardens (which are predominantly now paved over). The back gardens all had trees, everyone sat in their gardens, a lot of people had greenhouses and grew tomatoes. It was a lovely environment for little kids because of all the birds, animals, green spaces to play.
I'm talking here about working people with kids, in privately owned houses - that aspect has not changed.

So I don't believe it's anything to do with "not being able to afford plants or garden equipment". This is a place of multi car households and high property prices, designer clothes and gym memberships. A lot of people employ cleaners and dog walkers. I'm not talking deprived urban with no green spaces, I'm talking about an affluent north west suburb with footballers and multi million pound properties. It's a mindset and a fashion, it's not about money or "not having enough time".

And the same people will then complain and moan about how they leave ina crap place and people living in nice houses and gardens.

Just like people who dump or drop rubbish on the streets then complain about it. Why do it? Why deliberately make your environment messy and not so nice.

Sometimes I wish we had some of Japans culture about being more considerate of your environment no litfee dropping etc it would be so much nicer

Actually, properly "urban" living is very good for nature. By minimizing household footprint and car use and enabling cities to be much more compact, it allows far more nature overall to remain pristine and untouched.

Creating cities full of detached houses with their own gardens sounds nice and all, but by causing cities to sprawl outwards, take up more space and require more and more car use, it's actually far worse for nature.

I don't want detached houses with gardens to disappear, as some people do get so much genuine joy from gardening, but given the environmental impact of "detached-house-garden-car sprawl," I do feel that if you DO live in one of these setups, you should at least blinking well make sure that that garden is a haven for wildlife. Which most people probably could, because most people aren't disabled or similar.

Shit dying is fucking depressing though and makes me feel like a failure... again. Plus the guilt over time/money spent and actually guilt for killing the poor things. I have issues I know.

I like to see a well kept and/or a pretty garden but I am aware that not everyone even likes gardening or has the time or money to do anything with it.

The front gardens I really hate to see are ones where old cars/fridges/settees etc. are left rotting away and numerous black bags piled up in it. It looks absolutely awful.

I agree it's depressing OP and I am also worried about the decline in pollinators - currently doing an RHS qualification and it's very much at the forefront of my mind - however, I also do understand that gardening is time consuming and can be costly, also maybe people don't have a great deal of gardening knowledge, so I don't judge, but I do feel despair at all the potential that isn't realised.

The other thing is that not all plants suit pollinators, some cultivars have been bred with so many petals it's hard for pollinators to get to the nectar/pollen, so those flowers don't help. People may not understand the difference.

The other thing is nesting sites - bees need somewhere to live, you need that alongside the plants. There's lots online about that. They need habitat, we keep destroying it.

And I don't agree with the PP who said you'd written your post out of snobbery - you are worried about pollinators, so am I, they are in massive decline. Without them we can't grow food, so we should all be worried about this, it directly affects us. If plants aren't pollinated there won't be any seeds, without seeds there won't be new plants - that includes crops we all rely on. There's nothing snobby about being concerned about that. It's an inconvenient truth.