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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to being even ever so slightly miffed at my s2bxh's request?

85 replies

Citronella · 05/05/2008 21:20

Whilst just about being civil to each other over split arrangements he then said " oh and I would be grateful if you wouldn't throw out any of the good baby clothes for any future children I may have" I was then . I said you're having a laugh aren't you you really think I would let another woman have my babies' clothes? Meaning, another woman of his as opposed to any other woman (I regularly give outgrown clothes to charity shops). He said with a sarcastic smile there you go again being selfish and posessive".
Wouldn't you feel pretty p*ed off at that?

OP posts:
mixformax · 05/05/2008 23:01

You could also maybe tell him that you had bagged up the baby clothes ready to go to the charity shop but you be would be happy to pass them over to him, if he handed over a HUGE donation to your favourite charity (or wine/choc fund...)

Keep searching out the positives.... [hugs]

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/05/2008 23:03

Oh, agree with harpsi and dingdong - get all the baby equipment out and ready to hand straight over too, and keep on passing it over. Have a real good clear out.

Will await a thread in a year or so from a mum with PFB who is bemoaning that her DP's exwife keeps handing over 2nd hand clothes

Original poster
Citronella · 05/05/2008 23:05

I am growing to like the idea of calling his bluff and boxing up every bit of clothing, toys and equipment that we don't need and let him have them.
Even if he does have more dc, i think i agree now with all of you who said he said it to get a rise out of me or point score.

Must not take the bait
Must not take the bait
Must not take the bait

I'm off to bed with my mind at rest again. Thank you all for your posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Citronella · 05/05/2008 23:06

VVVQV

OP posts:
BibiThree · 05/05/2008 23:07

have you told him he's a knob yet? if notring him up immediately and tell him. better still, put his number on here and we'll all do it for you

paros · 05/05/2008 23:09

If you have a spare fiver I would go to the charity shop and buy baby stuff . Then give them to him with a smile on your face saying here you are no problem . them go back indoors and smile sweetly to your self . For starters you have pissed her off . (who would want their partners ex wifes baby clothes )and he thinks he won . But you have just played a lovely little joke on him . In fact I am smiling as I write this . LOL

mixformax · 05/05/2008 23:17

Hee hee - give him one small bag every time you see him, oh and every broken toy too, one at a time.

Elephantsbreath · 05/05/2008 23:22

he can have mine too. Bags and bags. Scummed up vests and pieces of sucked up lego. Hey we could have a MN collection for him couldn't we? Goodness his hypothetical future children could be fully kitted till they leave for university

paros · 05/05/2008 23:23

dont forget all the odd socks as well LOL

paros · 05/05/2008 23:25

oh and every one of us must have had a duh moment and bought a piece of baby equipment that was no use to man or beast . He could have them . LOL

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/05/2008 23:33

Fanbloodytastic paros

You should definitely do that citronella.

Everytime he does something that makes your heckles rise, stop, think, and ponder what might actually serve him right for doing so and then do so with a sweet smile on your face.

shelleylou · 05/05/2008 23:45

Ive read this and really cant understand why someone should have or continue to have a relationship with their ex's children.
My ds' dad' ex has never had a relationship of any sort with my ds even though they have a child together. Now XP and i have split up i havent maintained a relationship with his daughter. I have pictures of her and my ds and ds sent her a card for her birthday. The distance is too great between xp and i. They are both his children he should maintain the contact between them that isnt my responsibility

paros · 06/05/2008 00:04

smile sweetly

squilly · 06/05/2008 09:54

I can't believe the number of people who are supporting the S2BXH and saying that you're being selfish. WTF?

I understand that your kids need a relationship with their dad, which may mean a relationship with half siblings, but in most cases surely the relationship across half siblings is limited? Only MO as I've never been through this experience, so I'm prepared to be shot down on it.

I personally think this is about your s2bxh gaining some control over the split and scoring points.

I loved what KatyH said about giving him stuff and telling him you're clearing space for lingerie.

Personally, I couldn't be bothered with buying stuff from Oxfam for him. I'd just tell him I'd given the stuff to charity...no offense, but it just struck me as the best thing to do for his current relationship.

I'd then explain that women might not mind cast off men, but generally, with their PFB's, cast off clothes aren't de rigeur.

Then I'd tell him to f**k right off, but that's cos I'm a fishwife

Whatever you decide to do I hope that you manage to resolve things the way you want to. And I'm sure that you'll find much happiness in your future, even if now is a pretty shitty time for you.

Good luck!

waffletrees · 06/05/2008 11:21

Your ex-dh is a twunt.

I would call his bluff and give him the baby clothes but make sure his girlfriend is with him when you do so. I would imagine that any sane 26yr old would run for the hills. I can't imagine that she is even thinking about babies at this stage.

Well done, though, for getting this grade A twat out of your life.

alittleone2 · 06/05/2008 11:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Citronella · 06/05/2008 14:36

pmsl alittleone2!!

You lot really are priceless sometimes!

OP posts:
Youcannotbeserious · 06/05/2008 14:42

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. What a very strange request!!! Does he have a 'lady' in mind??????????

My Dh's ex DID give us all the baby clothes she wanted rid of, and I can't imagine ever keeping any of them (I didn't, I gave them to charity) but we'd been together for around 4 years at this point and (IMHO!) it was just the easiest way for her to get rid of the clothes - easier than taking them to the charity shop!

God, what bloke would ASK for them???????

Youcannotbeserious · 06/05/2008 14:46

I am still trying to think of a woman on earth who would actually want her DH's Ex partner's old baby clothes.............

As a second wife, I cannot honestly think of anything worse than starting off my baby's life in 'hand-me-downs' from the 'first' family (and, believe me, this is NOTHING to do with second hand stuff - pretty much everything I have for my DS is second hand - charity shop or Ebay, but that is my choice.... Can you imagine the 'rule of thumb' being you had to have the stuff his first wife was chucking out??????????

You gotta get it back from the charity shop and give it to him - and then demand to see his next child IN IT!!!!

what a total k**b!!

Youcannotbeserious · 06/05/2008 14:50

Oh and agree with Waffletrees - you have SOOO got to do it when his new woman is in tow.........

Having been that sane 26YO, I can promise you no woman in her right mind would stand for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster
Citronella · 06/05/2008 16:30

Do you know I think I might just keep some to give with a gracious smile .

OP posts:
piratecat · 06/05/2008 16:31

total cock

Youcannotbeserious · 06/05/2008 16:40

Believe me, Citronella - you will have the last laugh if you do!

BalloonSlayer · 06/05/2008 17:00

I would say "Of course," with a bright smile.

Then after a pause add: "I do hope you'll tell all your girlfriends that I am saving them, on your first date."

paros · 06/05/2008 21:21

smile sweetly LOL

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