To cancel this date?

[cadburyegg]

Started chatting to a guy on tinder a few days ago, we swapped numbers and he asked me out on a date, which we arranged for tomorrow.

I'm getting a bit put off by some of his messages though, like
"I want to cuddle you"
"I don't want anyone else finding out how pretty you are, they might steal you"

One of the things that puts me off men is when they are too forward early on, gives me the major ick. And now I want to cancel the date. 🙈

Am I just being silly? Or should I give him a chance? Is it rude to cancel?

Too full on. Bin it

He sounds rather too coercive and controlling to me! I'd bin this one before it goes any further.

Cancel. A first date should be full of excitement and anticipation not dread!

There's no coming back from the ick!

Urgh. Cancel. Far too forward and full on.

Not just icky, but actual red flags.
Hints of love bombing and future possessiveness/controlling behaviour.

Agree. I was going to say it’s just a couple of messages so maybe see how it goes in person. But the danger there is that he’s charming and you like him and then you’ve missed the first in probably a series of red flags by dismissing it as just a silly thing to say in the moment.

It could be a misjudged compliment, but it speaks of a man who is insecure, doesn’t have good boundaries around touching (he hasn’t even met you and wants to put his hands on you) and would be jealous of other men even seeing you. BIN!!

And don’t tell him why, as he needs to continue behaving this way to the next women so that they can also make their minds up if he’s really for them or not.

You’re already questioning it so you need to cancel.

I wish women would listen to their gut more instead of skipping along with these weirdos.

I would cancel, he sounds full on at best, coercive controlling at worst. First dates should be relaxed, fun, get to know you, not intimidating

Yeah, cancel. He sounds like a weirdo.

Cancel. He's too much

I’d be cringing so hard that my vagina would clamp itself shut

Listen to your gut and cancel the date

You can cancel a date for whatever reason. If you don't feel like it anymore there's no point in going on the date.

It's a no from me...

YANBU at all. Ick.

If find that off-putting. Too forward plus something a bit neggy about 'i don't want others finding out how pretty you are' as though it's not apparent to all who see you.

Good grief cancel but don’t give out your number so quickly. A major weirdo even if blocked can ring and msg from different numbers.

This kind of comment ("I want to cuddle you" before he's even met you) makes me feel like I could be anybody - he's just looking for a woman with a pulse.

I felt that with my ex fiancé. He just wanted to be married to someone, but didn't really care who it was.

It is never ‘rude’ to cancel a date. Do not ever go on a date with someone you don’t want to meet. You don’t owe this man anything.

Ignore your gut instinct at your peril.

You're questioning your own 'reaction' to the things he's said, but it's a genuine 'reaction' from you, so you need to listen to yourself.

The things he's said have raised your heckles, and you've never even met him ffs !

A quick 'thanks but no thanks' will solve this.

Not for me, it's weird

UGH. No way would I be able to look him in the face and not barf after that cuddling remark.

Ugh. The idea that someone could “steal” you, like you’re an item not a person, would have me running for the hills.

🤢

cancel date and block