Family complaining about PDA

[Oringly]

My dd is in her mid-20s, she’s been with her boyfriend for 3 years and they are here visiting for a few weeks (live abroad).

We have spent a lot of time with family while they are here, my sister and her husband and my parents have been with us often and extended family too over weekends.

Anyway, my family can be quite reserved, my parents never hug or kiss around us, don’t really hold hands etc. I guess DH and I are less extreme but similar (I don’t hold his hand ever but we do hug/kiss on the check goodbye). On the flip my dd and her partner are quite affectionate with each other. Sometimes if they are passing each other in the kitchen or something they will kiss (peck on the cheek or lips), they always hold hands if out walking together and they will cuddle on the sofa if we are all watching a film and sometimes during the film he will kiss her forehead or similar. In restaurants it seems pretty common for her boyfriend to just rest his hand on her leg if he isn’t eating. I haven’t seen this but apparently when they drive my parents home dd will put her hand on his leg.

Now none of it bothers me, they are just being affectionate but my parents, sister and my mums brother have now all complained to me and said I should ask them to stop as it’s inappropriate and not something adults who have been together for years should do. I’ve suggested that if they really have an issue with it they bring it up themselves but I’m not going to say anything as I think it’s fine.

AIBU to think my family are being weird about it? It’s not excessive and I don’t want to say anything to dd that will make her or her boyfriend feel uncomfortable.

DH and I have been together over 30 years and we still do all of those things you describe your DD and her BF doing. They’re fine; tell your family to unbend ffs!!! They’re happy, they clearly love each other. The family should be over the moon. Better than showing a bunch of red flag behaviours and her having to be warned off him, which we read FAR too much of here and generally.

This. I honestly clicked expecting full on impropriety. Her family sounds nuts.

This is all you need to read.
Their issue.
They sound weird.

Is it? Shit.

PDAs are lovely.

DSD says she and her husband have an ambition to be walking hand in hand on the beach like my parents when they were in their 80s.

I've been with DH for 20 years and we still hold hands, link arms, snuggle on the sofa, even around my family or his! It sounds like your DD and her partner have a loving relationship and aren't afraid to publicly declare their affection for each other in a respectful way.

Won’t somebody think of the children?!?!

God Lord! I have been married for twenty years and we do all of those things without a second thought! Your family is the repressed problem.

Some people are a bit funny about it, my mum can be like that, she asked me to stop being over the top with my husband because I kissed the top of his head when he was sat on the sofa. I did point out that I hadn’t wanked him off. I’d either just ignore them or point out that its completely normal and not over the top.

Bloody hell, I thought you were going to say they were full on snogging and groping in front of everyone, but all that is what I do with my DP of 5 years in company!

They are some prudish family you have there!

I WANT THEIR RELATIONSHIP but sadly never had it.

Your family are prudes. It’s not like they’re bonking on the dining room table is it

My husband and I do the same as your daughter and we are 50 years old and been married 16 years!! I see nothing wrong in what your daughter and her boyfriend are doing. If your relatives are offended by their behaviour, that's their issue, not your daughter's.

Blimey!

I'm quite reserved but that's nothing/perfectly normal

I suggest they look away or don't visit

Your family sound very repressed and uptight! Your DD and partner sound affectionate and loving. I don’t think you should say anything to her/them but you should tell you family to wise up!

Of course it's not wrong. If anything, the lack of affection with everyone else is the problem here.

Your relatives sound like Puritans. How did they have children? Did they use a sheet with a hole in it to prevent unnecessary and frivolous contact?

Sounds like she's the only one in a happy place 😂

Why after three years do they expect people to hate each other?'

That’s one way to get the family to leave if they’re outstaying their welcome, I guess?

OP, YANBU and that’s a very normal level of mild affection. They sound odd to be offended by it.

This is so sad from the family and it's made me a bit teary. Late DP and I used to walk hand in hand and I'd tuck my thumb in to feel snug. If we were travelling in a friend's car and he was in the front and I was behind, he'd reach round the seat to give my hand a squeeze on long journeys. We'd hug or have a little kiss anytime the feeling struck, not full on snogging of course, just because we're tactile. Sorry, were tactile.

None of what is described sounds in the least bit inappropriate and sounds positively healthy. May their relationship go from strength to strength ❤️

I don't think you should say anything. However, I do find some of these a big awkward like cuddling while watching a movie or walking hand in had when you're with a group.

Your family are weird. That's not PDA, I was expecting to read about them snogging and being all over each other. Their behaviour is completely normal, we don't live in Dubai, couples are actually allowed to touch hands in public in this country in case your family aren't aware.

Hand on the leg while driving would bother me, assuming one of them is the driver, but only because I don’t think that anything that potentially distracts a driver is a very good idea.

Other than that, your family are being totally unreasonable

Feeling racy too! Shock horror - 35 years in, snuggled on the sofa together right now. We hold hands, or link arms, kiss each other hello and goodbye or for no reason at all wherever we are. Golly gosh - Hands on thighs in the car too. They should be glad the youngsters are happy, settled, want to spend time with them and get a ruddy grip. I wouldn’t be shy in telling them either!

Jesus Christ. Your family are repressed. I cannot believe they complained about that.