To think she didn’t need to be rude about my hair?

[moccachovva]

I went for a consultation for my hair this morning and I felt like I encountered just rudeness.

As I sat down in the chair she immediately said “is that an extension I can see?” And lifted it up. Erm … yeah it is but maybe give me a chance to speak first? I’m not hiding the fact I have extensions in.

She immediately dissed the quality of my extensions, and when she said I’d need to buy brand new ones from her from a brand I wouldn’t ever touch she got really snotty when I said “I don’t want to use that brand”. She talked about bleaching my hair and I said no and then she said the state of my hair she wouldn’t put bleach anywhere near it.

Aibu? I want the truth as you need to know what’s realistic. But I think slating something so much that I felt so self conscious (there was one other customer in there who had no choice but to listen as it was deadly silent in there)

Stay away from her! That would put me right off. A consultation usually includes asking the client to say abit about what they’d like, what they wouldn’t like. Hairdresser and client then have a chat to manage expectations and they settle on an idea.

At least you had her figured out before you were committed to her doing any work on your hair.

That sounds horrible! Did you stay and have your hair done? I always thought that a trip to the hairdressers was supposed to lift your spirits and make you feel good about yourself. My hairdressers never make comments like this. My hair is a frizzy mess at the best of times and they just cut it without comment unless I ask for advice. I remember though one hairdresser years ago saying to me, "You do realise that your hair is green, don't you?" (I was swimming a lot at the time and I didn't disagree with her but I didn't understand her need to point it out in quite so scathing a manner). I never went back there. I thought to myself I'm not paying someone to make me feel bad. I hope you don't go back there and find somewhere much nicer where they make you feel special and pampered!

I don't know, it's hard to say without being there.

She does sound a bit abrupt, but so many people are completely unrealistic about their hair and it's her job to manage expectations.

A hairdressing salon is not really the place for being self-conscious about your hair

How did you book the appointment? Was it a consultation for colour/extensions?

I would have expected to tell a hairdresser I already had extensions in my hair at the point of booking, rather than sitting down as a surprise to them.

Take your money elsewhere.

No they just have an online booking system with ‘consultation’ with no additional options. Tbh it shouldn’t matter at the consultation stage if I have extensions or not. The entire point is to have a discussion and look at my hair.

Big difference of booking a full service and turning up with extensions.

Thank you. And no I just booked a consultation with them so regardless of what happened I wouldn’t have had any service done today - I would have also needed a patch test doing before any colouring.

Yeah she just made me feel shit. My hair isn’t perfect but it’s not horrendous. And I felt like she was trying to make out that I had really cheap extensions 🥺

Very true. She just wasn’t welcoming from the second I walked in - and she’s the director too.

It's not worth paying good money for to be uncomfortable. I had to drop a hairdresser in the past when she tried to berate me for not using some of the expensive products she tried to upsell previously. When I explained I found a cheaper alternative (without the ingredients she told me to avoid) she kept banging on about how it's inferior to the stuff she was trying to sell, I never went back again.

Tbh it shouldn’t matter at the consultation stage if I have extensions or not.

of course it matters!

If she genuinely talked to you like that, she has the customer service skills of a donkey. It also sounds like she didn't want to deal with your hair. I wouldn't go near her again.

Why? It’s a consultation, nothing more. You could turn up with box dyed black hair with the intention of going blonde. That’s the point - to assess the situation and advise next steps and what can and can’t be done. Why would a good hairdresser need prior warning?

I had a hairdresser do this once, slag off my previous haircut. It was her colleague who had done it.

Weirdly, there was another hairdresser at the same place who went on to be my hairdresser for 12 years, I followed her to different salons - so the rude one missed out on years of business and recommendations.

I went to a hairdresser once who KEPT remarking how coarse my hair is. (It is; I’m grey now and it’s much coarser than it used to be.) Once or twice would have been fine but by the tenth time, I’d really had enough. Didn’t go back!
The hairdresser I have now jokes about how coarse my hair is, but I’ve been going to her for years and don’t mind so much somehow.

Sadly, I think it’s all too common. I used to frequent somewhere as it was a family friend’s business. Every time I went the stylist would say, “so what are we doing about these greys then?”before she even had chance to say hello! Even though I only went in for a cut, as the grey doesn’t bother me. She then picked apart all of my life choices and all of the mistakes I had made- I couldn’t win! Eventually I stopped going as it was exhausting. She then asked my Mum why I hadn’t been in for a while and my Mum said that I was sick of her constantly bitching and moaning. She had the cheek to say she was unsurprised that I didn’t go anymore as I had always been flaky. I’m so cross that I went for so long, as the cuts were never what I had asked for- she know better, & it always cost a fortune!

Oh good, I'm glad it was only a consultation, and you're welcome. Life is hard enough without being made to feel like shit! I hope you can find someone a lot nicer. I just saw someone else post that the director of her hairdressers was the one who was rude. The hairdresser who told me my hair was green was also the director of that particular salon. I always found the ladies who washed hair and/or were junior stylists to be the nicest ones. I remember being in hospital after my first child's traumatic birth, and the lady who changed the bins and brought tea sat and chatted with me for ages when I was really low. She didn't need to do that but I appreciated it so much and have never forgotten her.

Taking your word for it that your condition and extensions aren't too bad, I wouldn't go back. I don't like lack of tact and would take my money elsewhere for it. Plus she wasn't listening so I wouldn't trust her to create a good result.

I don't want compliments or arse licking but I don't like a sales pitch or rudeness when paying for a service.

That sounds like a sort of negging sales technique. Tell you everything about you is the pits so your self esteem is ruined and you buy everything they suggest to make it better.

Glad you had the measure of her and it was just a consultation. Look elsewhere.

I'd leave her a review about the experience.

I’ve had the same. I cried a bit. to the hairdresser it’s the truth. if you touch it you own it. if happens. YABU

That's horrible OP , I have social anxiety but also a bit of a facial hair problem (always something I've been extremely secure about and bullied at school because of it ) that you can't see because my hair hides it . Oh she let me know I shouldn't have done such and such with it . It's one of the reasons I can't go to the hairdresser . My hair is way too long ,thick and uncontrollable but I'm too embarrassed to have my hair cut 😳 so YANBU

No other hairdresser has ever picked up on this part of me . I'm pretty certain they notice it's very obvious when you pull my hair back, they just haven't been rude enough to tell me about it or what to do with it

Why does it?

I mean literally this…

The consultation is literally there to see any “surprises”, get on the same page, manage expectations - so no one wastes time and money.