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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why women 65+ are all determined that coffee should be mouthscaldingly hot

328 replies

Everythingisnumbersnow · 17/01/2025 09:09

My mum, her friends, all the ladies

A normal temp is "cold please bring another one"

Is this an era thing or will it come for me too?

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 17/01/2025 10:58

Pottedpalm · 17/01/2025 10:53

As for those being scathing about ‘old’ people heating plates, why on earth would you serve hot food onto a cold plate? Not everyone shovels food in super fast. I don’t want meal to be cold after a few minutes!

I agree. Late FIL was very fussy about plates being heated. It is a thing otherwise why do I have a plate warming setting on my oven?

LittleRedRidingHoody · 17/01/2025 10:59

I'm in a coffee shop queuing for my regular heat chai, and I kid you not the table of (perfectly lovely!) older people are discussing how to ask the barista to pour more boiling water in their coffees as they're cold, without offending her 😂 Immediately thought of this thread!

RaraRachael · 17/01/2025 10:59

At the risk of becoming THAT customer, I think I'm going to start returning food and drinks that aren't acceptably hot to ask for them to be reheated. I don't think I'm being rude to the staff but when you're paying the extortionate prices for things nowadays you expect it be at least hot.

LegoLivingRoom · 17/01/2025 11:00

Gggglinda · 17/01/2025 10:55

My mum does this. We went to M&S for a coffee the other day and she said tell them to make my drink extra hot! When I asked the lad on the till to make it extra hot he gave me a strange look. I was wondering whether it was even a thing to ask for it extra hot after the look he gave. 🫢 she still complained it wasn't hot enough 😂

I ask for extra hot in Costa because I know it’s a thing (and it means I get my coffee drinkable), but I’m never sure if I can go it elsewhere. Sounds like M&S is not the place for me to order coffee.

I don’t get the age thing. I’m only in my early 40s.

MurdoMunro · 17/01/2025 11:00

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 17/01/2025 10:58

Since the axing of the WFA, few oldies can afford to boil the water

When I turned 55 i employed a young man to come and make my coffee, couldn’t manage to get it right myself. Didn’t want a young woman to do it though, they just want to talk about lips and eyebrows then cry all the time.

Hillarious · 17/01/2025 11:00

I like my hot drinks hot and my cold drinks cold. A luke warm coffee is very disappointing. I'm not 65+. My husband can't drink hot drinks hot, so it's good when we share a large coffee, usually from a service station, as I drink the hot top half and he drinks the cooler bottom half.

ForPearlViper · 17/01/2025 11:01

It happens when women get the chip installed in their brain at 65. You, know the chip that turns us all into a homogenous hive mind without an original thought? One part of its programming is purely focused on annoying Mumsnetters, particularly daughters in law.

DappledThings · 17/01/2025 11:01

Pottedpalm · 17/01/2025 10:53

As for those being scathing about ‘old’ people heating plates, why on earth would you serve hot food onto a cold plate? Not everyone shovels food in super fast. I don’t want meal to be cold after a few minutes!

I do want that! I want everything luke-warm. Warmed plates irritated me.

Reetpetitenot · 17/01/2025 11:02

Well under 65 and fed up being served tepid coffee. Lot of bollocks talked about scalded milk etc. If I want a cold drink I'll order one. If I order coffee I want it hot.

Words · 17/01/2025 11:03

Boiling water makes coffee taste bitter. It ruins the flavour.

I rarely drink tea but I believe that should be made with boiling water, then left to infuse.

Maybe the generational thing is people confusing the two processes. Bearing in mind tea was the predominant drink in the U.K. until relatively recently. Before beans or ground coffee were widely available, instant coffee was widely used.

There are few things more disgusting than a cup of scaldingly hot, cheap, instant coffee.

RaraRachael · 17/01/2025 11:04

The most irritating thing is when you order a coffee and something like a bacon roll that has to be freshly made and they bring your (tepid) coffee straight away. You have to drink it immediately before it's stone cold and invariably need to order another one to drink with your roll.
Maybe it's just a ruse to make you buy 2 drinks.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 17/01/2025 11:05

My mum makes a coffee and will leave it half an hour before she'll drink it as it's too hot.

Likewhatever · 17/01/2025 11:06

I love that this is one of the most active threads this morning. Are we over caffeinated do you suppose?

SharpOpalNewt · 17/01/2025 11:07

Do they drink instant coffee?

The only time I've had scalding hot coffee is when it's instant and minging.

LazyArsedMagician · 17/01/2025 11:09

Well, I can relate because my mum is like this.

We have an expensive bean to coffee machine and EVERY TIME mum will microwave her milk when she has a coffee from it. She has taken to bringing a small cafetiere when she visits, and as she lets it steep for at least ten minutes I don't think it can be much hotter than the coffee from the machine but apparently it makes a difference to her!

She also insists on doing the dishes rather than using the dishwasher, and uses water from the kettle because our tap water isn't hot enough. It is, I mean when you can see it steaming in an already warm room it is definitely hot, and when you stick your finger under you can feel it - but ole asbestos hands over here complains Grin
Doesn't bother me just a daft foible! Another one is overuse of the word "ludicrous" Wink

tippytoesy · 17/01/2025 11:09

I'm nearly 65, so I will speak for my generation of late Baby Boomers. We all lived in freezing cold houses, and the old iron kettles hung over the smoking coal fires, hissing and steaming. In those days, only the working men of the house had a hot drink. The children would stare, shivering and longingly as their fathers and big brothers gulped down boiling tea and blew steam geezers from their mouths. Then, we (the children) had to suffice with cold water from lead coated pipes, tepid milk from the cow of lukewarm gin from our mother's knitting bag. We longed for the day when we could stave off hypothermia with just a few sips of something hot.

At school, it was cold water or cold diluted orange squash for lunch, and, freezing milk at break time. A decade or two later, a lovely lady called Margaret stopped the torture of forcing young children to drink freezing milk, but our generation had to suffer it.

When I grew up, I vowed to myself that I would drink nothing but scalding hot beverages. Each time I spat the infernal liquid back into my mug, and peeled the skin off my blistered lips, I felt triumphant. Here I was, drinking the volcanic dregs that I longed for as a child.

My children could never understand my habit of boiling everything to the the heat of Vesuvius. Indeed, my need for heat extended beyond drinks. I boiled custard and rice pudding until it bubbled in the bowl. I cremated roasts, believing that not only was 'hotter better', but that the purifying nature of fire would kill anything bad in the meat. I even had the hot water temperature permanently set to 'third degree burn' and added cold water to make it possible to enter the tub and still live. My children could not understand.

Now, I still relish my hot drinks. The cold, damp memories of being brought up in the post-Dickensian world of the Sixties and Seventies, has left my soul so frozen that only a boiling beverage can melt it into life.

Lougle · 17/01/2025 11:09

I'm 45 and I always ask for my drinks to be 'extra hot' if I'm at a coffee shop. I can't stand feeling that I have to gulp down my drink, that I've paid a lot of money for, in one mouthful to avoid it being cold.

RosesAndHellebores · 17/01/2025 11:09

Well I'm 64 and minded to say DFOD to all posters making ageist and generalist assumptions. But, I prefer drinks and food to cool down a bit. I don't anticipate this will change in six months.

Note: I work full-time, don't have grey hair, am a respectful MIL, drive long distances and can have a laugh with my 30/40 something team.

FatOaf · 17/01/2025 11:10

I like coffee hot (I'm slightly under 65 and not a woman). That's why I don't use cafetières: it is impossible to get hot coffee from them. I use an electric percolator instead (e.g. https://www.ebay.co.uk/p/1542107687?iid=276818399261). Coffee is nicely fresh and hot.

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User09678 · 17/01/2025 11:11

Coffee from fancy places is always lukewarm imo. But it needs to be otherwise the milk scalds.

Twaddlepip · 17/01/2025 11:14

What a bizarre generalisation.

PurpleChrayn · 17/01/2025 11:15

Boomers are obsessed with such odd stuff, namely how hot food is, and celebrating wedding anniversaries. It's perplexing.

User09678 · 17/01/2025 11:16

Skimmed through the first and last page of this thread and really it makes no sense to talk about temperatures without an objective standard. My favourite tea temperature is 52 degrees Celsius, but I would prefer it to arrive slightly hotter. We should all have temperature probes because then when we do complain it will be on a more valid basis.

BIossomtoes · 17/01/2025 11:17

PurpleChrayn · 17/01/2025 11:15

Boomers are obsessed with such odd stuff, namely how hot food is, and celebrating wedding anniversaries. It's perplexing.

What’s odd about either of those things? Most married people celebrate their wedding anniversary.

battairzeedurgzome · 17/01/2025 11:20

RosesAndHellebores · 17/01/2025 11:09

Well I'm 64 and minded to say DFOD to all posters making ageist and generalist assumptions. But, I prefer drinks and food to cool down a bit. I don't anticipate this will change in six months.

Note: I work full-time, don't have grey hair, am a respectful MIL, drive long distances and can have a laugh with my 30/40 something team.

You have a shock in store on your 65th birthday, when you will get a call from the Department of Elderly Stereotypes to attend your mandatory hairdresser's appointment for your compulsory perm and grey rinse, and while you are out, the Department's operatives will attend your home to install a quilted fabric headboard in lilac velveteen and bring your complimentary set of fake fire irons.

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