To keep DD at expensive private day nursery?

[itstoocoldtoday]

I’m changing my hours next year because DC1 starts school. So my days will be compressed, starting late and finishing early.

DD turns two in July. This means I could switch her from expensive day nursery to the local preschool, which takes children from two and is open 9-3 (no wraparound.) It isn’t connected with any of the local schools. DS goes there now.

However, as lovely as it is, it doesn’t feed them and that’s a massive weight off my shoulders knowing on the days DD attends she eats a healthy and well balanced diet that I don’t have to make or persuade her to eat.

Then there is a difficult parent at the preschool with a son the same age as mine and a daughter the same age and while I wouldn’t avoid it altogether for this reason in its entirety does feel like keeping DD at nursery would be best. DH thinks preschool is a more sensible option. Help!?

I don't understand....your ds attends the pre school? But you don't want your DD to? Or have I missed something

Does the change in hours bring about a change in pay? Because swapping out from the expensive nursery could alleviate that, I wonder if that is a concern?

You could make lunch for your children to have at pre-school. Not wanting to send her there partly because of a difficult parent )when your son is already there), seems a bit strange...

Depends how much you need the money. You’ll have to feed your first child anyway won’t you after school? So presume you’d just give DD2 the same?

How much more will it cost you a month? Can you juggle both drop-offs and pick ups and get to work on time if using the preschool? When would you pick your little one up if at the day nursery? At 5-6ish or after school pick up?

It does seem a bit of a waste to pay out more for the reasons you have given.

If you’re definitely changing your hours due to your older DC and you or your H could do the drop offs and pickups then the reasons you’ve given for sticking with the costly nursery don’t outweigh the presumably large additional costs IMO.

The reasons are pretty weak

You’ve said “compressed”, but that means the same hours and pay worked over less days. If you are starting later and finishing earlier, are you actually working less hours now?

I sympathise with not wanting to move her, but it would be helpful to understand if there’s any financial pressure driving your husband’s opposing view.

exit: I’m an idiot who thought you said compressed hours in your OP - you said compressed days! Ignore that but question still stands re: whether there’s financial pressure.

I'm all for making life easy for yourself. Packed lunches are an absolute ball ache when you're already very busy.

I'd absolutely stick with the day nursery if you can afford it.

When you say they don’t feed her, presumably she’d have a packed lunch there? You might well find she’d eat better with her peers than at home even if it was something you had to take in. I wouldn’t let either that or the difficult parent sway you too much.

All that said, we’ve not tried to move our youngest from the nursery where he is settled as his older brother starts school. It took him a while to make friends and bond with his key worker and we don’t want him to have to start again. A lot of the children from him nursery will likely go to his school. And - probably the biggest factor - we’d need some holiday childcare and there is virtually nothing here for a child under school age. So whilst we also have pre-school options which would save money, they aren’t workable for us.

If you can afford it I would leave her where she is, assuming you're happy with the care.

Completely agree re the food btw - my DC eat a much healthier diet with more variety at nursery, it would be very difficult to replicate that with packed lunches.

If it will strain your finances then your DH has a point, but make sure the lunches aren't just on you.

I agree with this. People will say it’s petty and I’m just lazy etc, but packed lunches would be a big change both in our daughter’s eating habits and our daily routine, and if it wouldn’t put any strain on our finances I’d pay to avoid doing it at this age.

She wouldn’t eat a packed lunch to be honest but even if she did it’s still something I have to make sure we have in, prepare, and I have to feed her breakfast and dinner. It’s so nice on nursery days knowing I don’t have to do that. She just eats a better variety of foods at nursery than home.

The change of hours is a change of pay and the preschool would be cheaper but I don’t really skimp on childcare (obviously not suggesting anyone does, I just mean I don’t mind paying more for it.)

It would buy you some 1:1 time with your school aged child when you drop off and pick up. Just a little space to connect. I'd put a high price on that tbh.
Making food is a faff and a stress - I hate it.
If you can afford it go for it.

Aren't you making packed lunch for your ds anyway?

It won't be your DH making the packed lunch will it? Sexist but probably true

Which is easier to drop off at as you will be doing a school run and pre school drop at the same time?

You seemed happy enough to use the pre school for eldest so it can't be that bad.

Yeah I hate making childcare decisions based on money, I think it's something worth spending on for a difference in quality. We're wrestling with that one ourselves ATM, but for primary school wraparound.

What about school holiday cover? If the pre-school doesn’t do wrap around care, I’m guessing it is term time only and no holiday club either. How are you going to cover school holidays for your DS and would that setting also take your DD if she’s at the pre-school?

If DH is suggesting you use the preschool is he willing and able to do drop offs and pick ups.

We don’t need school holiday cover, occasional INSET but that’s managed easily enough.

I don’t think the preschool is bad at all, the opposite really! but the frosty vibes from another parent plus the food thing makes me think she’d better at the nursery until she starts school.

@Comedycook I am at the moment (and it is a bit of a hassle tbh) but in September he’ll be at school and have a school lunch. DD won’t be starting until then as she isn’t two until May.

If DS goes there now, presumably you are managing to feed him - so couldn't you just keep doing whatever you are doing now?

Also, if you are moving to working part time (which is what I think you meant, rather than compressed hours), remember this will give you more time in the evening. So you can just cook a healthy meal for the whole family (assuming you're not doing this now or food wouldn't be a dilemma).

Otherwise, if both are of equal quality, I'd favour the one that it was easiest to travel between so logistics easier.

You want to keep her at the expense option because you can't be bothered to feed her?

She just eats a better variety of foods at nursery than home
Why?

Choose whichever option seems best if you can afford it. If you are dealing with the pickups and lunches DH doesn't really get to decide

Also what about school holidays? The fact that private Nursery goes on over holidays is a big reason for sticking with it for us, holiday clubs tend to be from school age only