Please Don’t Pray For Me

[PrayAway2Day]

I have a serious health condition and it’s important that I get lots of rest for my recovery and to function, work etc.

I used to have a neighbour who sat in every day with her distressed child screaming for hours and never took them out (they said no sen and I think there was neglect there so that was very upsetting and I reported to SS anonymously to try to get the child help, but that’s another story).

I got in touch and politely explained my situation and asked if there was any compromise we could reach together e.g. maybe we could use different rooms in the house at different times so we didn’t disturb each other as the walls were very thin.

The neighbour didn’t offer to do anything (and didn’t change her behaviour.) I appreciate she was a person of faith (I am not) but in this instance it felt like a real FU.

Do you think people of faith should be more careful offering to pray for others unless they know they are religious? Especially if they aren’t offering any practical or emotional support, it seems like a way to make themselves feel better/crutch to deal with an uncomfortable situation.

YABU?
YANBU?

When my son was very ill in critical care, the nurse who had been with him all day said he would pray for him i found it very comforting that he cared enough about my son to do this ,I'm a very lapsed Catholic and would describe myself aa agnostic but it meant a lot at a very difficult time.

I once had a preacher say this to me at my place of work. He had clocked that I was not married and he told me something along that that he would pray that his god would give me a husband. He added "my child" at the end, which pissed me off even more.

I found it really insulting and condescending. First off, my personal life is none of his business; secondly, this is my place of work, at the very least he could treat me with a basic level of respect of another adult; finally, I am not his child and I found his language, attitude and even the topic of conversation overly familiar and I was thoroughly creeped out.

I'm of the same opinion.
I also think it's not your right to tell people what room to use at a certain time. That's very controlling and you don't pay the mortgage on someone else's house.
Honestly speaking....does the child cry for hours daily? Or are you a little sensitive of noise and what is the childs age you don't specify?
My child is SEN and is loud sometimes but I try to calm it down in the evening to respect the neighbours to some extent because its a terraced house with paper thin walls!....I cant wait to move.

What sort of age was this kid?

You reported her to ss and wonder why she refused to help you?

Did you offer to help in anyway with the child, offer to give the neighbour a break ? Other than nebulous reports to social services, how did you help?

Neighbour is probably immune to the noise at this stage and her patience and empathy may be drained. I would be resentful of someone reporting me to SS without firm justification.

How about ear muffs? Or how about calling in, explaining your illness and asking if there is anything that can be done.

It's context isn't it.

Someone kindly saying they will pray for you even if you aren't religious, fine. Someone saying they will pray for you in a passive aggressive way, not fine but easy to ignore.

My ds died recently and I specifically told people I didn't want religious platitudes, flying high with angels bollocks or praying. Whether they did privately I don't know. But I didn't want their beliefs in my face.

When my very religious parents said this to me it was very much done in a pass-agg spirit.

I don't necessarily take umbrage if a random stranger says it, but I won't think twice about responding breezily "oh, I don't believe in that". They should be aware that what they're saying might cause offence, so I assume they're big enough to hear what I have to say on the matter.

It bounces off me. Most of the time it is very well intentioned and expresses concern and care. I have no faith but see it as harmless and no mal intent.
In your case, it sounds like a clear FU!

There was a study some years back about praying for people in hospital as against not praying for them, and the ones who knew they were being prayed for recovered faster. But as this thread shows, it probably depends on what you believe or find comforting.
I'm a Christian but it winds me up when people say they'll pray for me. I can do it myself, thanks. Although if I were at death's door I'd probably appreciate it.
We have free will, but prayer can give your guardian angel permission to intervene. Which is why I always say a little prayer when I get behind the wheel!

Same here, mine is sen and this past week, she's been up all night! Shes been jumping up and down and while ive tried to keep the noise low i am also running on zero sleep

How stressful to be dealing with that, and then be worried about your neighbour reporting you to social services

There's something amiss here and I suspect you've royally upset your neighbour over the years and made her life harder, so she's come out with a patronising retort (Edit to add ) in response to you asking her not to use certain rooms during the day!

Thanks everyone for commenting, a real range of opinions.

For those commenting on the SS report, I can’t/won’t give more details as I’d never want to out those involved. Save to say it was a last resort after other things didn’t work and it was a really difficult decision to make. I think in these situations if you have good evidence there could be abuse/neglect then it’s better to report. SS can decide if help is needed and offer support. I personally couldn’t have lived with myself doing nothing.

Because having chatted to my non religious friends/family it's come up in conversation. I don't all every time more of a "so would you mind if I remembered you in my prayers?"
When our family suffered a tragedy my dad said "I suppose you'll pray about it and say its God's will? Don't ever say that openly to X" I said I would only pray about it for myself, unless others wanted me to and that I wasn't stupid enough to say it was God's will (something I struggle with, years later). X actually said to me herself that she didn't believe in God, but at that moment she wanted all the hope/ help possible so could I pray for her.

I'm not in the habit of asking random people if I can pray for them.

Other than that, I don't really know why I ask. I think I was told once that you should. Although if I prayed and didn't tell them they wouldn't really know.