To tell my husband to F off ??

[Sleepyheadfairy]

I’m a SAHM to 5 young children. 3 primary aged and 2 at home with me. My husband is the breadwinner - he earns enough to cover our bills and mortgage. However I have a small on the side craft business meaning I make enough to cover a nice day to day life with the children whilst at home, pay for their clothes and activities and most of our holidays.

my husband came home from work and my son wanted to watch paw patrol, he went to the living room and couldn’t find the remote. He found it under the sofa in the end but made a comment, (not for the first time as often the remote isn’t where he leaves it ie behind a cushion) “why don’t you ever just leave it in one place!” I’m always the last up on a night so last to turn off tv so always get blamed. When he found it he said, “why would you leave it there?” As if i did. Passive aggressively to the kids “whats mummy done with the remote”

here is my routine today:
woke up, made pack lunches, walk to school with pram and 5 children. Get home, make all beds, tidy rooms, clean kitchen, clean dining room, clean living room, hoover and mop. prep tea and pop it in slow cooker. Get baby and toddler ready to go out when I get a call from school that one of my children has forgot something for a lesson. I take baby and toddler back up to school and deliver item. Then go to local cafe to feed 2 at home. Go to playgroup. Go to shops. Collect kids. Walk home. Tidy away bags/coats/shoes etc. make food and feed children. Wash and clean it all up. House is spotless as always even with 5 kids and food ready for husband.

why did the remote thing push me over the edge. It’s just like he ignores everything I actually do and focus on one tiny detail. I said oh fuck off and went upstairs. I know I’m being unreasonable obviously. I’m just tired. Tomorrow I might not clean a thing and sit and watch tv all day. And leave the remote in the remote area 😂😂😂

Sorry. I meant you should BOTH have equal amounts of free time and self care time. 🤦‍♀️

Are you superwoman op?
I work full time but have a day off tomorrow. My kids are school age so I won’t need to feed or entertain anyone between 8&3:30.

I might clean the fridge out. Maybe.

Suspect the rest of my day will be drinking coffee, watching tv & potentially a browse around home bargains.

Misses the point of your thread entirely.

Hope you got that wine.

There’s always a straw that breaks the camels back … it just happened to be the remote. My exH did exactly the same thing … no matter what I did, he always looked for the one thing I hadn’t done. If I cooked a really nice meal, he’d say something like ‘could have used a bit more salt’. When I finally had enough and he left I realised that nothing changed. I was still doing EVERYTHING. I’d always been doing EVERYTHING. The only difference was I didn’t have a lazy fucker continually intimating that I just wasn’t good enough at everything.

NO

😂😂😂

No need to shout

😂😂😂

@Sleepyheadfairy Thats exactly what you should do .
Your job never ends . When he comes home he is ment to much in not look for reg remote before his family .
Taken you for granted much ?
Honestly leave the remote in its place after a relaxed day and tell him he has a night organising the kids and cleaning the mess.
If go one further I’d cook kids dinner early and have a Chinese and wine to myself. .

I am the most placid person ever but when I can’t find the remote I don’t even recognise myself!!

I got a small coffee table just so it gets put back on it everyday.

You have a baby, a toddler , 3 other kids and you go home and make beds, clean and cook dinner every day so your husband comes home to a tidy house?! He’s onto a winner there! You must be exhausted. No wonder you told him to fuck off! I’d do the same. Oh and no it’s hardly a LTB scenario! You’re probably both tired and had enough of the mundane exhausting daily activities! I’d ease off a bit though and stop doing so much around the house.

To be fair plenty of women come on here saying their husband swore at them and are told to leave!!

He sounds like a mysoginist. Thinks he can keep on producing larger number of children than what most have and come home to a palace every night with everything in its place.

Real life doesn’t work like that

He sounds like a moaning man child. And saying "oh, where has mummy put the remote?" to the kids is very passive aggressive and really bad parenting.
I'd have told him to fuck off too, but my dh wouldn't act like that in the first place.

YABU because I don’t believe you have time to do all that with 5 kids! 😂

👏

Hats off to your choice in life.
Husband was probably grumpy.

Get yourself a second remote.
Men and their remotes.
My dad used to go mad every time he couldn't find his remote!

Ha ha, when i was a kid my dad went to the craft shop and bought a really wide strip of velcro. He put the hook side on the back of the remote and stuck the fluffy side to the tv. We always had to stick the remote to the tv so it didn't get lost 🤣!

I would shove it so far up his rectum he would need the services of a very good gastrointestinal surgeon to recover it!!!

This.
I always keep a spotless house , but even with only kids only did that amount of cleaning once a week.

@Sleepyheadfairy
Firstly as an older person thank you for having lots of children they will be paying my pension in the coming years! I really appreciate your work.
Secondly whereas I'm a feminist I do need to say it's not just men who are like this. I'm gay and my other half is terrible with the remote and she loses it all the time. And then goes mad about it.
I have my own remote and it's one of those intuitive ones with few buttons and less writing so she can't use it big technophobe that she is.
I keep mine on the TV stand, hers is anywhere else but usually hidden in the sofa duvet somehow.
Lots of swearing in our house tv remote adjacent.