Hi all!
First of all I should mention I'm not British, and sometimes struggle with picking up on subtle social cues, coming from a more direct and expressive cultural background.
My DD (just turned 6) goes to school with a girl, let's call her Betty (also just turned 6). DD really likes Betty and has been asking for a playdate for a while. I contacted her mum and she seemed happy to arrange something initially, although we didn't settle on a date immediately. Over the next few weeks I have messaged a few times but every time it is not convenient, or she responds something like "Sounds fun - I'll get back to you later" (and then never does). I have also asked when would be convenient for them, but no response. For the past few weeks it's been quiet. But my DD keeps asking for a playdate with Betty. I know she has asked Betty at school once, and according to DD Betty said no that time. Then again, I know DD sometimes says no to kids she really likes and would play with normally because she's tired / she knows she has ballet class or a dentist appointment / is not up for it and she lacks the social skills to respond like we would ("I'm sorry, I can't today, but another time I'd love to"). Then again, maybe Betty just doesn't want to and that of course is fine. She does play with other kids after school, so it might just be that the feelings of friendship aren't mutual.
My first idea was to just encourage DD to arrange playdates with other kids, and she does. She gets along with her classmates in general. But she keeps bringing up Betty, and I'm not sure how to respond. I wonder if it'd be too direct to text Betty's mum something along the lines of DD still wanting to play, but it seems like it might not be a good time for them now, so if that's the case, just let me know, and I'll keep encouraging DD to ask other kids? Or even ask her at pick up? At least then I know it's not going to happen, and I can think about how to let DD down gently.