DS7 sucking his t-shirts!

[SuckyMcSucker]

Just wondering if other people have experience of this and how to stop it?

DS7 will sit and suck his t-shirt, mostly whilst playing on his tablet. He’s hardly done it at school because he said he’s busy doing other things. But today he came home with his t-shirt soaking! 😩. I could tell as he walked towards me. I told him it was disgusting, I couldn’t help it.

I’ve asked him about it over the last few weeks and he says the following:

1. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, so therefore can’t stop it.
2. He doesn’t do it when he’s busy doing other things.
3. He does it when he’s hungry, and I don’t feed him when he’s hungry. I explained that sometimes he has to wait until tea is cooked (ie don’t eat that, you’ll spoil your appetite).
4. He often sits at home without a top on, either because he’s already made one wet, or to stop himself doing it.

Whilst these are things I can work with, there will always be times that he’s bored, waiting for meals etc.

I asked MIL for advice and she said it’s attention-seeking, he’s jealous of baby brother (1 yr old), and I need to get properly angry with him. Given that DH thinks I favour DS7 over baby, I’m not sure this is true, but willing to consider it. I’m not sure about getting angry.

Is it just a phase, or what should I be doing? TIA

Edited to say sorry, didn’t mean to leave voting enabled!

My son has this.. he's diagnosed autistic. Could be a sensory need. Could also just be a habit. Is it causing him any harm? Is he doing it at school? Get him a chewy. Seems harsh to make him sit top less.

It's common and it's just a sensory thing. Loads of children do it, and all stop eventually. It's definitely not something to get angry about and your MIL sounds cruel tbh.

When did it start? Children can regress when another baby is on the way.

DD used to suck her cardigan sleeve.
She stopped by secondary school.

My 4/5 year old was doing this earlier in the year. It was really annoying because he actually kept chewing holes in his clothes and I had to throw out so many tops! He also chewed the top of his coat so much that the lining came out and the zip came off!

Honestly, we started off by bringing it to Jo's attention, asking not to do it etc. However, it was just a habit and he was doing it unconsciously. I decided to just stop mentioning it, give no reinforcement and not make a big deal of it. A few months later, he stopped.

My DC have gone through a phase of doing this and grown out of it. It's just a phase. I remember doing when I was a kid. Just sensory seeking.

Pretty sure most kids do this at some point. Your mom was just being plain nasty. Don't make him feel bad about something he isn't even aware he's doing, that's just as mean as what your mom said

My son did this to the point he chewed holes in his T-shirts. For some reason he preferred white cotton ones. I asked him about it once then largely ignored it and he grew out of it by the time he got to secondary school at age 12.

Don't mention it at all, and he'll likely grow out of it.

Oh, and stop asking your MIL for parenting advice.

Your MIL is just plain wrong

many children do it, its sensory seeking, try giving him a figit toy for his pocket. He will grow out of it. If you see him doing it, a gentle reminder to use his figit toy instead will suffice

It’s not causing him harm as such, but if he continues to do it at school he’ll be sat in a wet t-shirt all day. I don’t make him sit topless, it’s something he chooses to do. To be honest it’s a struggle to keep him clothed full stop at home! He’d quite happily sit in his pants all day at home.

My autistic DC does this, though less as he’s got older. He finds it soothing and he does it a lot more if he’s tired, upset or during stressful times. On one hand it drives me mad how many tops he’s ruined (he could chew a t shirt into literal shreds in one day) but on the other hand it’s better than some of his other sensory seeking behaviours like chewing himself and it’s a useful barometer of how he’s doing emotionally. A silicone chewy toy helped but he prefers the texture of fabric. We had some success giving him a baby muslin or handkerchief to chew on at home, at least they weren’t as expensive as his clothes and were easily washed! Some people suggested gum but he didn’t like it.

I really wouldn’t get angry or shout at your son, see if you can redirect it. But bear in mind most people have some sort of stim and he might well just replace the chewing with something else like nail biting or hair sucking.

I’d say it’s probably been 2-3 months, getting worse. Today was the first day I noticed it on his school top. Baby is 1 year old, and DS adores being an older brother.

Yes! I’d forgotten about this being a thing at school. Thank you.

Please ignore MILs advice. This is not something to be punished for, and it’s not attention seeking. It is a sensory thing and more likely a kind of comfort blanket. It soothes him.
He will either grow out of it or move onto something else.

Thank you. It bothers me less at home as I can easily get him to change his top if needed. And as PP have suggested I can try managing it. But to see him come out of school with a soaking shirt was a bit of a shock. Hopefully that won’t become part of the habit and/or he’ll grow out of it soon!

DS did this as well, he was diagnosed with ASD at 10. Please don't make him feel bad about it or tell him it's disgusting! As he says he doesn't even realise he's doing it. I expect it's self soothing, he might be feeling a bit stressed at the mo.

Yes I did regret saying that the moment I said it.

My DS is the same age, and does this. I think he does it more when he has movement in his teeth.

Both my autistic DS and my NT DS have done this but the NT doesn’t seem to have grown out of it. I buy chew toys to distract him (you can get Lego shaped ones which are reasonably cool) and they seem to keep him away from the clothes.

Someone in my year 6 class in school used to chew his tie it was soaking by the end of the lesson

My ds1 used to do that. His teacher said a lot of children do it when their adult teeth are coming through.

Give the boy a bowl of apple slices or change your mealtime.

I used to do this, I’d forgotten all about it. Don’t really know why but I just liked doing it. I’m in my 50s now, very well adjusted, good job, long term married with kids and grandkids.

I’d suggest he will likely be fine.

My DC did this, I gave them a separate piece of cloth to suck/chew on to stop them ruining school uniforms. It helped to wean them off the habit.