DS7 sucking his t-shirts!

[SuckyMcSucker]

Just wondering if other people have experience of this and how to stop it?

DS7 will sit and suck his t-shirt, mostly whilst playing on his tablet. He’s hardly done it at school because he said he’s busy doing other things. But today he came home with his t-shirt soaking! 😩. I could tell as he walked towards me. I told him it was disgusting, I couldn’t help it.

I’ve asked him about it over the last few weeks and he says the following:

1. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, so therefore can’t stop it.
2. He doesn’t do it when he’s busy doing other things.
3. He does it when he’s hungry, and I don’t feed him when he’s hungry. I explained that sometimes he has to wait until tea is cooked (ie don’t eat that, you’ll spoil your appetite).
4. He often sits at home without a top on, either because he’s already made one wet, or to stop himself doing it.

Whilst these are things I can work with, there will always be times that he’s bored, waiting for meals etc.

I asked MIL for advice and she said it’s attention-seeking, he’s jealous of baby brother (1 yr old), and I need to get properly angry with him. Given that DH thinks I favour DS7 over baby, I’m not sure this is true, but willing to consider it. I’m not sure about getting angry.

Is it just a phase, or what should I be doing? TIA

Edited to say sorry, didn’t mean to leave voting enabled!

My DS has historically done this. He is 22 now and still does.

He is ND.

His top sucking/chewing got worse when he was anxious, it went hand in hand with facial tics. One was rarely present without the other.

I noticed one of his current hoodies is a bit chewed at the front.

If it is anxiety based - but not saying it is - then drawing attention to it will make it worse.

It is annoying, I used to have a couple of sensory chewy things in the fridge for him.

DS would have spent his life in his pants given the chance. Now it's short leg PJ bottoms.

Send him in with a spare shirt in his bag just in case? Or would he be willing to chew something else discreet like a pencil topper?

Maybe I’m too accommodating because for my child it’s part of autism but if your child doesn’t even know he’s doing it I’d be trying to find workarounds for him.

Can you give him a chew toy instead? It is often a sensory thing linked to ASD but not always.

A self-soothing mechanism suggesting that he has high sensory needs. My DS did this at a similar age - also chewed his pencil in school til it was splinters, sucked the strings on hoodies and stepped down the back of his school shoes when concentrating in school. I didn’t handle this any better than you did. Have since realised that I too have high sensory needs - love a weighted blanket, for example. DS is now a very happy, well-adjusted, high-achieving 14 yo. He grew out of all but the chewing on hoodie strings!

www.understood.org/en/articles/sensory-seeking-and-sensory-avoiding-what-you-need-to-know

My 9 year old NT son does this, worse if he’s coming out of a cold or tired. Gum works, as does giving him an old, clean tea towel or muslin. Seems to be less these days. Can only hope - a lot of wrecked t-shirts in his wake.

I do this and I'm 44

My son used to chew his cuffs. I bit my nails, picked at my fingers and chewed pencils (also ate my bus tickets, not advisable). I don’t think it’s unusual at that age

Does he have other sensory issues, you mention he would just sit in his pants if he could?

I just took no notice of it with my ds and it went away. Sometimes the more pressure and attention you give something the more ingrained it becomes.