To ask if you’re happy and healthy?

[SharpCyanDuck]

It sounds like such a simple question, but I’ve been wondering lately how many people genuinely reflect on these two things. Life can get so busy, and it’s easy to lose track of what truly matters. Are you happy with where you are in life? Are you healthy - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally?

AIBU to think that these two questions should matter more than almost anything else? And if the answer to either is no, do you think we owe it to ourselves to figure out why?

Well, it's against the rules of the site, for one thing.

Both - yes

My level of happiness is equal to how much or how little I read news sites.

Neither. I was very unhappy anyway but lost my DM in November and one week ago today I lost my DDog in quite a traumatic way. My health I'd describe as fragile after a 52 years of anxiety. I fear these traumatic events because I know my health suffers each time.

I did used to blame my precarious financial situation but now I'm reasonably secure (for a while at least) and I feel worse than ever.

Not happy, not healthy. Actually In a bad way mentally. I also need to lose a bit more weight.

Healthy, yes pretty much.
Happy, no.

You're overthinking this.

No, and No

Not really happy since a breakup but I d have lots to be grateful for. Healthy thank God yes.

I admire you. Can you share how you were able to move through?

Happy yes, healthy yes until a month ago but I'm slowly getting better again.

That being said I had two life-threatening hospitalisations in 2011 and 2015 and since then have found it much easier to have a positive and grateful attitude towards my health. Before those years I completely took my health for granted!

No and no. High levels of stress, lack of sleep and too many convenience foods because of lack of time.

Hopefully will be in a couple of months, though. Husband is very poorly and having life-saving surgery in 10 days. Once he’s recovered, I’ll have time to address my personal needs, get out and exercise again and concentrate on home cooking and catching up on so much lost sleep.

No. Neither.

Happy yes, I have a pretty good nature for that, I'm always happy.

Healthy, generally also yes, but I think I could do better. Although I'm happy, I'm feeling a bit low energy these days, and I don't like that.

But overall yes, I'm very lucky to have good MH.

Thank you.
I found Conscious Uncoupling book very helpful and I had 4 counselling sessions to talk through my emotions and grief. Essentially, the conscious uncoupling method is about acknowledging your feelings (actually naming them), learning lessons about your own role in a breakup of the relationship so that you can get out of the "victim" mindset and empower yourself to move forward, unhooking from previous trauma and forgiving your partner. You can them move on without negative attachment bonds. It's definitely a rocky road with a lot of "why should I do that when he..." along the way. But once you give into the process it's incredibly healing.

DH and I talk about this - we've got to a stage in life where are jobs are well paid but not especially stressful, our families don't need a lot of support - no grandkids or infirm parents yet (I've been there with infirm parents and it's yet to come for him).

We live somewhere a bit boring but safe, we have a good network. It's a good stage of our life and we remind ourselves of that and that we are lucky.

No and I think schools should focus on this more, looking after yourself to make sure you are happy physically and emotionally

Yeah, I'm really happy, it's kind of my natural state and what I ping back to in the absence of something awful happening. I'm not particularly healthy but my chronic illness is pretty well controlled at the moment.

I am glad to read this. I am unhappy because my DD has a chronic illness which is not well-controlled at the moment. It's very hard to see her suffer so much when so young.

I would be ok if my own health were poor, as I feel like I have accomplished most of what I need to do.

I'm not an expert on these things and obviously each condition and person is different, but I have had this illness since my childhood and because of that, I was able to make more informed decisions around suitable careers/ type of lifestyle from the very beginning of my adult life and I think that helps.

DD has had it since 15 and so many of her decisions have been influenced by this. It's very unfair, and I feel the unfairness daily. She can't do what many of her friends are doing.

Healthy, no not at all at.

Happy, not particularly happy at the moment.

All sounds a bit doom and gloom at 52.

Yes to both.

I'm a single mum. Three and a half years ago I was dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Fearing for my dc, fearing for myself, my nicely organised world had come tumbling down. It was a real reminder of what actually counts.

Three years down the line my ds is now a 6' teen with 10 good GCSEs who will survive, whatever happens to me. I've finished treatment and am NED. Back to running twice a week. Life is good. 🤗

I'm sorry, it sounds really hard. I didn't mean to suggest that it isn't.

Yes, I'm naturally a very content person who is very pleased with my lot. My health is good (as far as I know). I don't take my health for granted at all as I had cancer in the past. To me, health is wealth.
I do have some worries at the moment but am managing to be positive for now.