I feel burnt out what am I doing wrong

[HappyHelper123]

Today I woke up at 5am, had an hour to myself to meditate and stretch, showered at 6am, cooked breakfast 630-7am and prepped dinner while I was there, while I was doing that DH was getting DS ready.

Had breakfast, cleared up, dropped DS to school.

Home by 9am, worked 9-2pm apart from a quick walk in the sun, picked DS up, took him to Occupational Therapy, got home, made dinner, ate dinner, played with DS for a bit, read together and collapsed in tears of overwhelm shortly after DH came home to take the baton.

I just feel exhausted. DS has SEN and needs a lot of input after school, he finishes early as they can't meet his needs at school. So I can't just let him potter about all afternoon and have to do his therapies with him.
I feel like I'm moving from one thing to another all day with no time for a breather. And then I do it all again the next day and the day after and just feel like I'm not doing anything well.

I long to just...stop...while he's at school instead of working. Instead of what feels like firefighting.

But isn't everyone in the same boat?! I feel like such a failure

No option to cut hours they've already been flexible enough letting me chop and change around DS school hours.

We have a cleaner

We can't sign up for meal boxes like hello fresh as have very specific dietary needs between us all, besides I'm not sure how much it'd help as the main thing I feel drained by is work

AIBU = suck it up buttercup, that's just middle aged life
AINBU = that sounds hard and you need to change something

I really want to ! Currently using it ALL to take my DC school hols off (and even then its not quite enough) but I think my health will go to pot if I carry on like this

Hes diagnosed with cerebral palsy from birth complications so thats not hereditary - but I think he also has some form of autism which is undiagnosed as of yet partly because his home set up naturally adjusted around his needs so we didn't really realise till school - and the more I look into it the more I can relate to a lot of the (traits? symptoms?) myself. Sorry if I am using the wrong wording I am v new to this

No - I will look into this, thank you !

SENDIASS might be helpful. You need to find out your rights for your son to have support and an appropriate school place.

OP what do you eat for breakfast?

I’ve been watching the Glucose Goddess on YouTube. She has some simple and easy hacks for meals, I’ve made a simple change - eating vegetables before carbs, and have a savoury breakfast- and I’ve gone from zombie stage to alert.

don't so that. Get a childminder for the holidays. You need all these little breaks to keep you going. My children are older and so are all of my friends, I have seen it happen and the secret is to build in loads of breaks to keep you going or you will burn out otherwise.

Good idea. I assumed 'holiday only' childminders didnt really exist and DC wouldnt cope with the typical clubs

mainly porridge and veg or savoury pancakes and múshrooms etc ...I shall check this out, I think it must have something to do with too much carbs

Are you already taking HRT and is it an optimal dose? It has really made a difference to me, I am just about keeping my head above water instead of drowning.
Have you got a autism/ adhd diagnosis? If it's something that has occurred to you, would it help?
Do you get DLA for your dc? Would this make a difference to what you can outsource or if you have to work for the time being.
What support can you self refer to? I have accessed what is basically a PA to help me with all my SEN admim. Apply to Family Fund for what you think might make a difference (aim high!)
have you had a full blood panel recently? Ferritin, vitD etc. Where's it at?
Mobile UK is a great charity, their free life coaching has been brilliant for some clarity.
Self care isn't just scented candles and basic hygiene, it's can be making your voice heard with medical professionals.
If you wanted to appreciate the brutal positives, you have another adult who seems on board with your child's needs and your child accepts their care. Your child is able to access a bit of school so you aren't with them all day and can remain economically active.

not taking hrt at all but have booked a gp appointment to discuss that.
how would I go about an autism diagnosis for myself?

will look into PA/family fund/Mobile UK etc, thank you !

do you have a link to mobile uk? I googled and am getting lots of hits for donating mobile phones

Carbs are good for you and are your body’s preferred source of energy, don’t get sucked into the anti-carb fad that’s doing the rounds! Honestly getting even a bit more sleep should help. My son used to wake up at 5 and it was absolutely awful!

This.

And if your DS has a neurodivergent condition there's a fair chance you have one too, which will make even "normal" things more tiring.

But waking up at 5am every day would finish me off, and I am not even working. IME looking after an SEN child is a part time job all on its own even if they go to childcare some of the day simply because of the energy required in being aware of their mental state and trying to stay one step ahead of them all the time.

I keep picking up bugs which give me mild sore throats and headaches (4-5 times since Oct) - mild enough I can still work, but not feel 100pc, so I think that'll help. Also my 'recovery time' from any physical exertion is really long

These are also signs of stress, not necessarily a deficiency in something.

Of course DS needs to access any therapy etc he needs, but I would not worry too much about letting him "potter about" in the afternoons. Rest will be important for him to help him cope with school as well.