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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s very bleak to be saving this and getting absolutely nowhere? What’s the point?

185 replies

Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:17

I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive as I am a single parent (with maintenance as people seem to ask that on here!). But I can’t ever seem to get ahead financially. I have been fortunate to save 1,500 a month for the last year or so. I thought this was going to be great as it would get a good savings buffer going and me and dd could even go abroad perhaps and I could start to add to her savings too. I was looking forward to having 10k in the bank as a safety net and then a little extra to save elsewhere.

But no… what’s actually happened is 3k on a boiler… I know that’s more like a one off cost but it doesn’t stop there. I needed two trees removed which cost 1k, I had a huge energy bill from December which has wiped out 400 of this months savings already. I had to pay for extensive dental treatment with a root canal as I couldn’t get it on the nhs. Then finally I had to pay over 90 more for car insurance (no explanation as to why and despite calling round many many many places to get it cheaper).

The reality is that I am getting nowhere with savings. It will take me forever to save won’t it? What’s actually the point? I will never be able to save more than 1,500 which to be honest I thought was a huge amount! But perhaps I am very wrong about this. How do people get financially secure? I’m nearly 40 now and can’t actually believe I have this much money to set aside and it’s going nowhere. I just want to give up and the future feels so uncertain.

OP posts:
devastatedagain · 13/01/2025 22:18

At least you own your own home which will increase in value at some point. I'd be happy with that and a small amount of savings.

gavinandstaceychristmasspecial · 13/01/2025 22:20

The other way of looking at it is you did have that emergency money to protect yourself from debt, or not being able to do the dental work, or similar adverse consequences.

SalmonEile · 13/01/2025 22:21

I feel for you it’s hard going ,
But another way to look at it is that when you needed 3k for your boiler you had it
It might take longer than you thought to build up the savings but you will get there
every little helps

Porcuporpoise · 13/01/2025 22:22

Well if you hadn't saved the money you'd now be in debt. It is hard as a single parent and, yes, there always seems to be an endless stream of unexpected bills that need paying, but if you keep saving it should eventually start adding up or at least you will be keeping your head above water.

MidnightPatrol · 13/01/2025 22:24

Good thing you had the savings to pay for these unexpected expenses!!

If you’ve saved £18k this year - those expenses are only a small amount of that total too.

WhoPutTheBomp · 13/01/2025 22:26

It is hard, for sure.

Two steps forward, one back, on we go.

As the other have said, you were able to sort your boiler, pay your energy bill, get the trees sorted as well as your teeth. Insurance hike is a ballache but what can you do.

So you carry on, yes your £1500 this month is already depleted (annoying) but there we are.

You are doing great, I know it doesn't feel like it. Have a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Guavafish1 · 13/01/2025 22:27

most people don’t have the money for a boiler… stirring in the cold

WhoPutTheBomp · 13/01/2025 22:28

PS stick a couple of hundred in Premium Bonds, a bit of fun and you never know!

CraftyOP · 13/01/2025 22:29

Sorry that it feels unrewarding but you're doing better than a lot of people, you're own home, a car and sometimes can save. It's so hard to save anything for most people. Financial security is hard to come by

Original poster
Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:32

I feel like most people ARE financially secure though? And now I’m trying to save 1,500 a month (which is unlikely to ever increase from this) it feels like the end of the road, where do I go from here if I can’t get secure with that?!

OP posts:
YearningForAWinteryWinter · 13/01/2025 22:32

I'm sorry but that's what life is like. People have these expenses all the time. Appliances break down, plumbing issues, home maintenance. These are some of the reasons for saving money.
It seems like you'll have money for pleasure too.

BIossomtoes · 13/01/2025 22:33

You’re saving £1500 a month which is more than some people have to live on. You’re doing OK.

Original poster
Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:33

@YearningForAWinteryWinter this is best case scenario for me though. It’s not going to get better than 1,500 a month and it’s got me nowhere. We won’t be going on holiday for example. Feels utterly pointless

OP posts:
pompey38 · 13/01/2025 22:34

Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:17

I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive as I am a single parent (with maintenance as people seem to ask that on here!). But I can’t ever seem to get ahead financially. I have been fortunate to save 1,500 a month for the last year or so. I thought this was going to be great as it would get a good savings buffer going and me and dd could even go abroad perhaps and I could start to add to her savings too. I was looking forward to having 10k in the bank as a safety net and then a little extra to save elsewhere.

But no… what’s actually happened is 3k on a boiler… I know that’s more like a one off cost but it doesn’t stop there. I needed two trees removed which cost 1k, I had a huge energy bill from December which has wiped out 400 of this months savings already. I had to pay for extensive dental treatment with a root canal as I couldn’t get it on the nhs. Then finally I had to pay over 90 more for car insurance (no explanation as to why and despite calling round many many many places to get it cheaper).

The reality is that I am getting nowhere with savings. It will take me forever to save won’t it? What’s actually the point? I will never be able to save more than 1,500 which to be honest I thought was a huge amount! But perhaps I am very wrong about this. How do people get financially secure? I’m nearly 40 now and can’t actually believe I have this much money to set aside and it’s going nowhere. I just want to give up and the future feels so uncertain.

The point is that if you wouldn’t have it you’ll be in a lot of trouble now or debt, the glass is half full

Jellycatspyjamas · 13/01/2025 22:36

But part of financial security is being able to pay for the unexpected, which you’ve been able to do. It may be worth thinking about what financial security means for you, be specific about what you want your money to do for you - not worry about bills, have a buffer of x months salary, afford a holiday etc etc. You’ll then have an idea of what to do with your savings.

You're doing really well, don’t let tales of million pound pension pits on here make you think otherwise.

Comff · 13/01/2025 22:36

As the other have said, you were able to sort your boiler, pay your energy bill, get the trees sorted as well as your teeth. Insurance hike is a ballache but what can you do.

This. To put it in perspective if you didn’t have those savings (and those who don’t), you would be fucked. You’re being incredibly pessimistic and negative.

Give yourself time to feel a bit miffed and then shake it off.

YearningForAWinteryWinter · 13/01/2025 22:37

What do you mean it's got you nowhere? I think you're being overly pessimistic.
If it helps, why not consider £500 a month into a home maintenance/unexpected cost fund and £1000 into pure savings.

Honestly, you're doing fine. Your savings will be up to £10k soon.

Nannyfannybanny · 13/01/2025 22:37

"most people" I know, even the ones with well paid full time jobs,no kids, live on credit, credit cards and have no savings. We're pensioners,there's a very small buffer when things go wrong. Thank god my DH can turn his hand to most things.. Martin Lewis recommended folk have a buffer of 3 months salary.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 13/01/2025 22:38

Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:32

I feel like most people ARE financially secure though? And now I’m trying to save 1,500 a month (which is unlikely to ever increase from this) it feels like the end of the road, where do I go from here if I can’t get secure with that?!

My take home pay is £1650. We mostly live on that (we get DLA for DS). Fortunate to have no rent/mortgage so I consider myself lucky. If I had a spare £1500 a month I'd be overjoyed. And yes, one off costs happen, we needed a new boiler and then a new roof and that's largely wiped out our savings with little opportunity to build them back up.

TomatoSandwiches · 13/01/2025 22:39

It won't be like that every year though, it takes time to accumulate.

Basketballhoop · 13/01/2025 22:39

Welcome to life. Congratulations on being able to save that much each month. It means you can have your boiler replaced, without running into debt. You can have tree down, without debt etc. That is what savings are really for.
You should still have enough for a holiday. You are succeeding and doing well.

Original poster
Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:39

Jellycatspyjamas · 13/01/2025 22:36

But part of financial security is being able to pay for the unexpected, which you’ve been able to do. It may be worth thinking about what financial security means for you, be specific about what you want your money to do for you - not worry about bills, have a buffer of x months salary, afford a holiday etc etc. You’ll then have an idea of what to do with your savings.

You're doing really well, don’t let tales of million pound pension pits on here make you think otherwise.

@Jellycatspyjamas i think I just wanted enough to pay my mortgage for a few years without working, so I wanted 60k in the bank ideally. I just cannot ever foresee that happening now. When I realised I had got to the point of saving 1,500 I really thought t this was achievable and I could relax but I can’t. I’m never going to have that sort of savings. I won’t ever earn more so this is as good as it will get and it feels stressful and demoralising.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 13/01/2025 22:39

That’s a big list of expensive things you’ve been fortunate to be able to pay for and you know you’re able to save more. Could be much much worse.

And no, most people aren’t in a better position than you are.

Notsuchafattynow · 13/01/2025 22:40

Are you saving into an isa rather than a high street savings account?

Isa's are tax free, so don't let the taxman take a cut of that 1.5 a month!

There are different types so take a look. I found this website very helpful.

https://www.boringmoney.co.uk/home/

JaceLancs · 13/01/2025 22:40

I cannot imagine the luxury of saving that much each month
I am 60 and try and save £450, but frequently have to dip back into it for unexpected items - this month it was a car issue which was £800 just after Xmas