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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s very bleak to be saving this and getting absolutely nowhere? What’s the point?

185 replies

Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:17

I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive as I am a single parent (with maintenance as people seem to ask that on here!). But I can’t ever seem to get ahead financially. I have been fortunate to save 1,500 a month for the last year or so. I thought this was going to be great as it would get a good savings buffer going and me and dd could even go abroad perhaps and I could start to add to her savings too. I was looking forward to having 10k in the bank as a safety net and then a little extra to save elsewhere.

But no… what’s actually happened is 3k on a boiler… I know that’s more like a one off cost but it doesn’t stop there. I needed two trees removed which cost 1k, I had a huge energy bill from December which has wiped out 400 of this months savings already. I had to pay for extensive dental treatment with a root canal as I couldn’t get it on the nhs. Then finally I had to pay over 90 more for car insurance (no explanation as to why and despite calling round many many many places to get it cheaper).

The reality is that I am getting nowhere with savings. It will take me forever to save won’t it? What’s actually the point? I will never be able to save more than 1,500 which to be honest I thought was a huge amount! But perhaps I am very wrong about this. How do people get financially secure? I’m nearly 40 now and can’t actually believe I have this much money to set aside and it’s going nowhere. I just want to give up and the future feels so uncertain.

OP posts:
FindingGlimmers · 13/01/2025 23:15

Do you have to take out a £30k loan?!

NoBinturongsHereMate · 13/01/2025 23:16

I just wanted enough to pay my mortgage for a few years without working,

Hardly anyone is able to do that.

so I wanted 60k in the bank ideally.

As a PP pointed out, one in four people only have £100 in the bank. One in three have under £1000. Two in three have less than 3 months expenses saved.

Your expectations, and perception of other people's degree of financial security, are unrealistic. You are saving vastly more than most people can, and have been able to cover several significant, unexpected expenses.without going into debt.

Doris86 · 13/01/2025 23:16

You own your own home and can afford to save £1500 a month? You’ve had a few unexpected costs which have reduced your savings, but going forward you can build them up by £1500 a month again?

Sorry but I can’t feel too sorry for you. You are in a great financial position compared to many.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 13/01/2025 23:19

You’ve saved so that you do have the £3k to spend on the boiler etc

PlopSofa · 13/01/2025 23:19

Try not to lose heart OP.

There will always be emergencies and it’s great you had the money for these issues

It sounds like this is your first year doing this?

Next year could be better. You just never know.

it’s hard to keep working and feel like it’s never ending but you’re not on a downward spiral really.

You’ve got a good job, your own home and you’ve got plans for the future. These WILL happen but it might take a little bit longer.

Is there a long weekend you could do with your DD? Any deals on groupon or cheap flights on EasyJet? Where there’s a will there’s a way. Don’t give up. Your plans will work out but life is never plain sailing. Look at how far you’ve come. You will save more eventually. This is just one of those times when there’s a crunch. But hopefully that’ll be it for now. Keep on keeping on and stay positive. You’re actually doing better than most.

LBFseBrom · 13/01/2025 23:21

Do you not pay into an occupational pension scheme? That will give you security. I've never known anyone save £1,500 a month and can't imagine how.

Lovelybitofsquirrel3 · 13/01/2025 23:24

Why couldn’t you get root canal on the NHS? How depressing

poemsandwine · 13/01/2025 23:25

BIossomtoes · 13/01/2025 22:33

You’re saving £1500 a month which is more than some people have to live on. You’re doing OK.

Exactly. You're also not in debt and could pay big unforseen expenses. Seems pretty stable to me.

EricTheGardener · 13/01/2025 23:26

I'm not a single parent, but I am single. Everything is just so extraordinarily expensive. I'm much older than you OP and it's still hard. I was in a really good financial position before covid, but I lost my job and income overnight when lockdown hit, spent the next year and a half living off my savings that I took years building up, and ended up having to retrain and look for a new job in my 50s as my old industry (travel) was decimated. I have still not recovered financially and still have twinges of envy sometimes for those who kept their jobs and stashed away all their commuting money. But it is what it is - I try to remember to count my blessings. I have secure work again, I own my own home and can still pay my mortgage. It could be loads worse. But I get it - it sucks sometimes to feel like you're on the treadmill and going nowhere.

samarrange · 13/01/2025 23:29

Wehah · 13/01/2025 22:32

I feel like most people ARE financially secure though? And now I’m trying to save 1,500 a month (which is unlikely to ever increase from this) it feels like the end of the road, where do I go from here if I can’t get secure with that?!

They really aren't. A series of expenses like that would have put half the country into debt.

Also, if you have a garden with two trees that need to be removed, I'm guessing you own a decent sized house. In that case you need to be budgetting to spend several hundred a month, or say £4–5k annually, on maintenance, whether that's new carpets, the boiler, the soffits, or whatever. There is always something.

So instead of saying that you are saving £1500 per month, try telling yourself that you are saving £750 for the longer term and £750 towards the "stuff that isn't in each month's budget" fund. The financial hit to your discretionary (booze/restaurants/days out) spending is the same, but at least you went be setting yourself up for disappointment.

katepilar · 13/01/2025 23:32

Why do you think you are getting nowhere? How would you pay for that you listed if you didnt have that much saved?

NowInNovember · 13/01/2025 23:32

I agree with the posters saying save money in different pots. On payday I transfer a little money into general savings and then some into a pot for holidays and one for yearly bills. Sometimes I have to dip into the general savings but mostly I can use money from the other pots and it doesn't feel like I'm really using my savings. My months wage overall isn't a lot more than £1500, my savings are a fraction of yours.
Also, your house is an investment. At some stage might you be able to downsize? Also at some stage your child or children will be independent. Maybe you need some professional advice on planning for your retirement.

PunnyRobin · 13/01/2025 23:36

ill admit, ive got to start savings asap, its possible but will take years rather than a quick fix @Wehah

minipie · 13/01/2025 23:36

As a way of making it feel worthwhile

Add up all those expenses

Now imagine you didn’t have the savings built up and you’d had to put it all on credit cards or take out an emergency loan. Work out the monthly repayment on that.

You are now saving that amount every month, because you had the savings to spend rather than having to get into debt. Well done!

Worldinyourhands · 13/01/2025 23:36

I know what you mean OP. I get it. The money threads on here always bring out the broad range of people and I get that too as I've felt bitter when people are discussing how to spend large sums of money or do house renovations that I will literally never, ever afford. It's tough to save and then have it wiped out on boring things. For me it's usually the car - and that's so annoying because it just seems like it's gone on literally nothing. The car works and then it breaks and then it works again so you're exactly where ou started. Same with dental stuff - also horrendously expensive. Same with tech breaking - like my laptop broke recently and I had to replace it and I could not feel excited about the new one as I was just thinking well I had a laptop and I also used to have more savings. Now I still have a laptop and less money - great. I want savings to feel worthwhile too. I get that it's a very privileged view but it's ok to have a view from wherever you are.

tailinthejam · 13/01/2025 23:36

But if you had spent it all instead of saving it, how would you have paid for the boiler and all the other things? Savings are there precisely so you have a buffer against sudden and unexpected large bills. Otherwise you would have to get into debt to pay for them, and loan interest is far higher than the interest you get on savings, so it would cost you more too.

You are doing the right thing by saving hard every month, trust me. Smile

HPandthelastwish · 13/01/2025 23:40

Have you posted before. Several months ago there was an OP that was desperate to be mortgage free in two years who was a single parent with a DD and felt she'd be a failure if she didn't.

It's not all or nothing, saving £60k but living on dry bread and never going anywhere or enjoying exploring the world with your DD isn't the answer either. You need to strike a balance.

If I were in your position I would book that holiday and pay that off £300 a month a couple of grand will get you 2 weeks in the sun somewhere and another £1500 for spends / passports/ new clothes what ever you need there.
£600 in a house repairs pot that is reasonably tricky to access
£600 in a futures pot for rainy day / made redundant

Tiswa · 13/01/2025 23:41

But you did have a buffer to pay for the things that come with life that is what people save for

Ponderingwindow · 13/01/2025 23:42

You are looking at this all wrong. Your house needed repairs and you had the money to pay for it. You needed medical care and you had the money to pay for it.

this is how proper savings and budgeting works. You put money aside every month so you have the money waiting to pay for this one off expenses. These expenses always happen. That is why you save.

your savings for holiday or for the future are only a tiny fraction of your monthly savings. Most of it goes to regular life, just like for everyone else.

MyProudHare · 13/01/2025 23:46

OP, there are people sitting in their cold houses this winter because they can't afford to put the heating on.

With respect, you need to get a grip.

Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 13/01/2025 23:47

Based on your numbers (12x1500 =18k) you should still have about 10k - it’s a reasonable buffer

it depends what your aim is?

if you have that left you have the choice of saving OR going on holiday

I think you are in a very good position

Maia77 · 13/01/2025 23:50

Things are hard and are going to get harder. The main reason for that is growing wealth inequality. The gap between the super rich and the rest is growing at an alarming rate and a wealth tax is the only way out, but our governments don't want to go down that road, as it's not popular. However there isn't any other road to go down. Look up Gary Stevenson. He explains these issues really well.

MrPepInHisStep90 · 13/01/2025 23:51

Is the OP being serious? I'm a single dad and have never struggled with money, but some people aren't even earning 1.5K, yet you can save it. Maybe you don't realise how fortunate you are.

PrinceYakimov · 13/01/2025 23:52

If you consistently save it into an account with a decent interest rate (ideally via an ISA where interest is tax free), the magic of compound interest will kick in. It will take a couple of years to start to see it, but it will happen!

Anniedash · 13/01/2025 23:52

Is thread has turned into the usual ‘at least you are still breathing’ with no acknowledgement of what OP is saying.

OP, if you work and are self sufficient, then you have a point. People working, paying their way and trying to secure themselves in this country are being shafted by the corrupt government and freeloaders.