Puppy Overwhelm - AIBU in partially regretting getting one

[bubbaflash]

Hi All

So we got a puppy just over a week ago. Not our first dog, we lost our old boy at 15 in October last year, and we miss him badly.

I vaguely remember the puppy days being hard - but goodness the memory does block some if it. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. DH works from home, and I work from home the majority of the week, but I do have some client visits. For the first month DH and I are using some annual leave to work part of the week and to bed puppy in. We also have a DS who is 12.

The problem being we are used to a routine with our old dog where we could leave him a bit, pop in and out and (once through the destructive puppy stage) you could reliably leave. He was happy mogging about with us in the day, but also doing his own thing.

Now we are back at the start. Work is fine when she sleeps (which is a lot I suppose at the moment as puppies need a lot of sleep) but it is hard when she is awake.

Toilet training is going well, and she is generally quite a sweet puppy, though full on when she is playing as puppies should be.

We are crate training at night (it is slowly getting better) and we have brought a playpen to put round the crate for daytimes when we need to pop out. She hasn't been left yet as she is only 10 weeks old.

I have googled and I think i am experiencing the puppy blues. I do know it eventually gets better, but omg at the moment life feels harder.

AIBU to currently regret our decision? Any advise or support on how to cope would be appreciated. I know in time things will ease, particularly when we can get out for a walk, but i feel a bit anxious and loI

There's a long running puppy blues thread on the Doghouse board. It's well worth a read.

I remember coming on here in absolute floods of tears about 3 weeks in to having a puppy. It was great to hear that they are little shits, to be told that when they are being particularly shitty it's because they are tired. To do brain games with them to tire them out. And that people know had what were those awful puppies lying at their feet or snoring in their beds and couldn't imagine life without them.

5 years in - I couldn't imagine life without her and she's a little sweetie.

But yes, 3 weeks in I could have handed her back to the breeder without a second glance.

Also crate training isn't compulsory! And build up gradually how long you are leaving them for.

Oh yes puppy blues, I remember it well! My dog is 8 years old now, I still remember that first year very clearly!

It will get better, pup will get into a routine, that will help.

We're back there with our 10 week old black lab. We have a 17 month old chocolate lab, who is wonderful. It's so easy to forget what it's like!

my puppy is 17 weeks tomorrow and I just said to my dh wow where's the dog??!? Nearly had a heart attack but she was quite happily under the sofa with her chew bone. We hadn't realised we'd not been 'on alert' which we have been for the last 2 months lol

there were days I wanted to send her back, days I thought I made the worst mistake and days when I hated my dh for not agreeing with me (even though I had said to him don't agree with me 😂 )

what me and my puppy have developed now is the art of conversation-she knows my eyebrow raises and I know what her little noises mean. Sometimes they misfire like this morning when she weed on the upstairs carpet but that was my fault for not taking her out first. Also the rare wee now doe not send me into a downward spiral anymore either.

I've just been playing football with her in the garden and my oh my I love her so much! Every day is different and you have good and bad but once you start to chat with each other you'll be grand!
I also lost my dog in April after 13 years so had totally forgotten the puppy stage!

here's a pic pleeeeease no pug hate this is not what this thread is about ♥️

It's survival until about 20 weeks. Then massive improvements after that. Take things in turns as much as possible. Build up daily the time you can leave them. 1 minute day 1 (3 times), 2 minutes day 2 (3 times) etc. Any day the struggle go down again to nearer the start.

It does get so much easier. I look at my dog now and my heart bursts. Mind you, I'd happily have chucked her out the window when she was a puppy. It was hard work!

We got our puppy in November and I almost immediately regretted it. Our pup is generally doing well but taking him out for a wee at 5am has been a killer as I can't get back to sleep and then need to be up at 6.30, I think the hardest part has been feeling like I'm stuck in the room with him and I can't potter freely as he's into everything.

Nothing has actually been a surprise, I knew he would have accidents and would need a lot of supervision but the actual reality has been a shock to the system.

I don't blame him and I know it will get better but I do find myself thinking I wish we hadn't got him and then feeling guilty as I'm clearly his favourite in the family!

Could you do the wee stop earlier e.g. 3am so you can at least get back to sleep?

Oh God… yessss! To everyone one of the posts!!! You do forget just how full on they are!
I used to cry with the strain of it all - then she’d come to me and lie on me and we’d snooze together and I’d love her so much - rinse, repeat!
Still follows me to shower, bath, toilet.. and sleeps in the bedroom. She is a third leg, if I move, she moves. German Shepherd aka ‘Velcro dogs’
I carried her with me in the first 3 weeks as we’d got an elderly Shepherd who didn’t want dive-bombing by this land-shark every 30 secs. Pup was most put out when I couldn’t manage to lift her due to her huge rapid growth. Tried to climb my legs like a too-heavy toddler🙄
On my PC emails is one I wrote to my best friend detailing my woes, but in a comic way… makes for eye-rolling head-nodding reading now😁
Of course, it all passes, but my goodness, it is SO tough in those early weeks and months.
I love her to the Moon and beyond… but she got in the shopping delivery yesterday and stole the carrots…nothing changes much!🐾

I did shifts my dh would go to bed at about 2am and so take her out then, and I would go at 11 and get up at 7 (yes I needed sleep to cope!)

he would sleep until almost 9am, roll out of bed into his office chair.

so she was alone in her pen for about 5 hours. We've extended to 6.5 hours now no probs. And have more showers 🤣🤣🤣

This is why I don’t have puppies. I hate the stages. I rescue a dog over 10months old from an owner that gives up. I’ve always quickly bonded with them and have had some great pets. I wish more people would rescue dogs rather than encourage breeders. You get on going support if you need it from the rescue centres. I’ve only known one mismatch of a first time dog owner being given a hound for their first experience.

I did think about that but I'm worried I still wouldn't get back to sleep...

This was me a year ago. It just gets better slowly and the doom feeling does wear off. Now he’s a year old he’s still a big furry liability but sleeps through the night (actually did from after a week and that’s until 7.30/8), has basic training and sometimes settles down for a snooze. We do still have the evening rampage which I’m keen to leave behind.

Anyway puppy blues are totally normal and yes, they are very hard work.

Yes, it's reaaaaaaal.
My dog is 18 months old and tbh, it is still hard. Once you get over the puppy stage you get about 3ish months until you reach the adolescence stage and for me that was far far worse, he is still hard work at the moment but is getting there.
Coupled with being a cocker spaniel it's hard - many times I have felt like giving him up but I've stuck at it, because all the training, love and dedication I've put into him has been worth it and I can't just give up now.
Me and my husband are his world.
I do love him very much but, looking back I wouldn't ever get a cocker spaniel again ( even though I'm experienced in spaniels).
Here's the knob in question 🤣

I have 3 dogs with ages ranging from 10 to 2. And with every single one of them, I've forgotten just how hard the puppy stage is. It really is just surviving!
But it will get better, and you will completely forget.

Unless you've got a Dachshund (I have two), in which case you're screwed 😆

I'd never have another puppy again, worst thing we ever did! We persevered for 6 months before we took her back to the breeder. It broke our hearts, but it was the best thing for all of us. She had a long life with her mum and auntie at the breeders house- so no regrets.

Puppies are harder than babies.

Our 'puppy' is now nearly two, thank the lord 😂
It's seriously hard work when they are so young op, and yes you do forget!
I have had dogs all of my life, and every single puppy has put me on my knees. Every single puppy has made me want to return them at one stage! It's completely normal. Just keep trying your best each day and think of the end result. She will be a wonderful companion soon, and you'll forget these days all over again!

I does get better, my dog is 5 this year and she wasn't even that bad but I found it exhausting, now she is a wonderful dog. My previous dog who died aged 12 ate everything in the house for the first 2 years (clothes, toys, shoes, stair carpet, coffee table!), it was hell but then it just stopped. You just have to persevere.

@Invisablepanic It does get better. The breeder suggested to us that if he's not sleeping in the bedroom and isn't in a crate then just ignore any accidents over night. (As long as he's sleeping somewhere with a hard floor) And mop them up quickly in the morning and concentrate on day time toiletting. They eventually hold it in over night. Ours can sleep through till midday if we let her.

But they do start sleeping through the and not needing a wee at night.

I've only ever had rescue dogs, and the youngest was 10 months old when he came to us. The experiences on this thread have cemented my decision to never buy a puppy 😅

I think it's even more difficult when a puppy replaces an older, well loved dog. By their older age you have a real sense of them, their routines, their habits, their funny wee quirks. They are just easy. Even the crazy ones.

And then there's the misplaced confidence because you think that you know what it takes. And those lovely, comfortable years with your four legged friend have taken the edge off those memories of puppyhood and the hell that it was. And you're contrasting the sweet old companion with the little bitey hound who knows no English nor how to hold their wee.

Suddenly dog ownership goes from easy, relaxed love to bloody ankles, cold, forced wees, unsatisfying walks, feeling like a failure and being that person with the arsehole dog with no recall whilst everyone else walks serenely by with their Labrador by their side.

Puppyhood sucks. But then suddenly you realise that the arsehole stage is over and the sun comes out again.

My puppy became SO much more bearable about 6 months old. She's a small breed. Just finished her first season and she's like a wise, old lady who's super chill and never pees inside anymore.

I can't tell you how many times I thought about sending her back in the first weeks.

Never more true than when she ate a baby sock and had to be brought to the vet.

Yes I do this too at night when toilet training. I just make sure they have somewhere to 'go' far away from their bed, which is a few puppy pads near the back door. They have all been 'clean' by three months old.

This is me! We're 7 months in with the dickhead and adolescence is now hitting hard. He's bitey, argumentative, suddenly deaf to all instructions and a total pain in the arse.....until those moments when he's cute, cuddly and adorable again.
However, as he's a golden we've got 2.5 years until maturity....if it ever happens. Good job he's cute.

In those very early days and weeks, mine worked out thst I either kept her in the bathroom with me (havoc) or left her “loose” in the house (carnage) and she’d cry for me anyway. So I plonked her in the shower with me… she couldn’t get up the sides of the bath so just played in the water. It worked til shr got too big so my showers were quick ones😁
She’s currently lolling in front of me, nearly 10 now and slowing down with a greying muzzle. DP calls her Raffles after the thief… if you can’t find anything, she’s likely to have pinched it!

Oh I think everyone feels like that, more or less, in those early days. They’re adorable and long term, it’ll be fantastic but by Christ, they’re such demanding, annoying, grubby little shits to start with 😂