Is this really rude?

[niadainud]

Or did I over-react?

Family member answering a phone call when the meal (which I had cooked from scratch) had just gone on the table.

To try to anticipate any questions: no, the call was not of vital importance; yes she knew the meal was ready; yes, it would have gone cold quite quickly.

This was the final meal of my Christmas visit before heading home where I live alone (so the last time I would be sharing a meal for a while).

It didn't turn into an argument, but I was clearly not happy. Then to top it off the other family member answered the bloody landline!

Oh OP I’m sorry that’s awful! I mean is it was a big table of 8 or so and a teenager had skipped off to talk to her friend that’s one thing -I would be so annoyed about this too!

Would not bother me at all even turning up at my the door without calling dont get to us even at meal times.
Its oh hi come in grab a plate and find a seat.
Whos phones is ringing you better pick up never know who it is.
Etc etc.
Even as i type my son is on his way with his boyfriend he rang to say hes ok after his 4 hour wait at a&e my sister as just arrived and walked in my best friend as arrived and all no doubt going to be staying to night.
And im having a noddle.
Tbh i love it gonna get a take out tonight.

I am from a different bread love people while you can.

So you were at your parents house, cooked a meal and thrn they answered phone calls after it was ready?
Think there will be less formality in that situation, but then I'd have said loudly so the in law could hear "your tea's getting cold mum/dad".

I think if you're staying with your parents for a few days, you're all on "home" rules rather than "guest"/"host" rules. So if that's the norm in their house then I think it's fine that they continued (although it would drive me crazy if DH did that when it's just us).

Yes, that's exactly what happened.

I did say it was ready, loudly, four or five times.

I'd have picked the food up and shoved it in a tupperware box and eaten it later myself. They clearly didn't care about it.

A noddle? Different bread?

Not sure I could live with that level of chaos!

Im from a different bread genuinely- is this a saying?

I more or less did. As no-one else would stay seated at the table eating their food I got up and left as well. Probably petulant of me, but I'd had enough by that point.

Well done

She needs a different breed - surely that's obvious.

Really bad manners. I would be very pissed off. It's bloody rude and disrespectful to you and the food you'd prepared for them. "Just about to eat, will call you back later" is OK but I would actually leave it to go to answer.

i dont find it rude. you dont know the reason they had to take the call. you shouldnt take it so personally

That was quite incomprehensible

You'd spontaneously combust in my house OP! We have a friend who comes every Friday for a meal, chat and a movie. Every single time, we end up having to keep his food warm - or pause the film - because he makes a phone call. What's worse, he insists on doing it on speaker, and we loathe the woman he's calling 😤

I do think your relative was rude, on the face of it, but we don't know what the circumstances of the call were and why she might have felt the need to take it then. I personally wouldn't have made a fuss about it and made everyone even more uncomfortable.

I see my spelling mistake i just got struck with a migraine,

So your parents hosted you for over a week and you threw a strop as you weren't the centre of attention for one meal. They're adults, if they want to answer their phone in their own home they can. It's not up to you to dictate.

They sound like the kind of inconsiderate fuckers who face time in public

You need to get out more

So you were sitting there eating the meal you cooked on your own whilst theirs went cold because they were up and down answering the phone?
Formal or informal doesn't matter. That is really rude.
They didn't appreciate the effort you put into cooking or your company which was ending that night.

I think you should say something to them, in a non confrontational calm way but just mention it and ask why they think it's OK and why it was so important to talk to the other person ( presumably it wasn't about much) and effectively ignore you.

It's not worth starting an argument over, but I do think it could be said to make your view point clear to them. Ironic that you are having to teach your parents about good manners.

I do know, and it could have waited.

Um, singular?! 🤔

I did as much cooking, cleaning and tidying as anyone else while I was there, including all the catering for NYE (meat and veggie). I didn't expect to be the centre of attention, I just wanted the people I'd cooked for to actually be present!

Possibly...