Of course I have the heating on!

[JustAnotherDayInNorfolk]

I have a very up and down relationship with MIL and my partner is currently suffering with the awful bug that everyone has got. I was unwell most of November and all of December with it and still coughing. DP started to feel rough yesterday and has spent all day in bed.
MIL has just called to see how he is and I have come off the phone losing the will to live!
How is ? Oh he's in bed. Has he taken anything? Yes, we had a lot of medication because I haven't been well so he has had stuff today. Has he eaten? Yes, he's had a sandwich, cups of coffee and water. Is your house warm? Yes the heating is on. Is the temperature high enough? No, I am sat in the house in the cold, of course the heating is on and of course it is high enough.

The woman is bat shit crazy - i am sure that because i am not sat by his bedside monitoring his every movement he is being neglected.
Anybody else had ridiculous comments like this??

I would've either said 'must go!' and hung up, or put him on and he could croak a bit at her. And then screen your calls!

Sounds like she is just concerned about him. There is nothing overtly wrong in asking the questions.

Sounds like natural concern to me. My dad asks similar questions when I tell him I've been unwell or if he hears a sniffle in my voice when on the phone. He means well and just shows a level of care and concern for a loved one.

There's nothing wrong with a mum being concerned about her ill son.

I would leave the updates to DP in future!

I am a RN and have three children. Two are +18. My mother still asks about everything when one of us is sick...
I think it is love.

Would he ring your husband/partner and check they've put the heating on for you when it's in minus figures outside etc though?

I think you just need to pass the phone to your partner when she calls.
Her concern is natural, but she doesn't need to be calling you, when he is able to take a call. If she's calling the landline pass it to him, if it's your mobile because you don't have a landline she should be calling him directly. My exs mum could be like this, very old fashioned and expected me to communicate for him, I would just pass the phone to him, or ask her to call back, unless he was genuinely ill enough that it was reasonable for me to update her instead of him.

Sound perfectly normal to me. She's just making conversation about the fact that a grown man is so ill he's taken to his bed. She cares, that's good.

Well, she didn't do that did she? She asked if the house was warm enough. Follow up to a "no" answer might have been "can I lend you a supplementary heater?".

If a woman has raised a man decent enough to be able to have a happy marriage with, there's a good chance she is not a monster. She may be an alien and not of your family, but that doesn't mean she is not an OK person.

Surely that’s just concern, maybe annoying but its her child who she loves and maybe much of its just conversation

You clearly don’t have the best relationship
it’s just general chit chat

tbh I think anything she said would piss you off including if she never bothered to ring

I'm only here for the drip feed

No the heatings off, he's in the same
Jammies as yesterday, not had any meds as I don't believe in them and he's currently being starved.
Yip I hate all comments like this, just a busybody thinking her sons so
Bloody precious. If that bothered phone and ask him himself or come round, bring him a load of fruit snacks, magazines, couple of new housecoats, slippers and cozy socks. Take his temp, heat up the homemade soup, have the doctor come out just to confirm suspicions of a simple cold, buy him entire boots pharmacy, and go tell the bishop in time for tomorrow mornings Sunday blessings .

just a busybody thinking her sons so
Bloody precious.

Aren’t all sons (and daughters) so bloody precious? I know that mine are, to me.

Her son is precious to her. Why wouldn't he be?

Bloody hell! Are you OK?

Always the same on MiL bashing threads. It's like some DiLs think their husbands stop being someone's son when they get married.

Exactly.

But as ever, a MIL's place is in the wrong on Mumsnet.

Yes. Stop being so critical just because somebody is interested in their son's welfare. Don't see it as a reflection on you.

tell her that he is plenty warm enough because he has the dressing gown of doom.

Feeling your pain. Once when I told MIL that DH wasn't very well I got a right earful. 'But why isn't he well, rue? This shouldn't be happening, [DH's name] was always very fit and healthy when he lived at home...' 😬

She's very old-fashioned and clearly didn't (and still doesn't, I suspect) think I was being a proper wife and feeding my husband well. 🙄

I always ask questions like this of someone who is ill, just checking they havent forgotten the basics, easily done when people feel ill or have a lot on their plate. Im always checking my parents have food in, have the heating on, what temperature etc etc

You sound hard work OP

The woman is bat shit crazy

I see this trotted out time and time again on here especially where the MIL has done/said something deemed to be unacceptable by the DIL. There is nothing “batshit” or “crazy” about anything that the woman asked. You don’t appear to like her very much OP.

She loves her son and cares about him. Stop being so prickly.