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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm so depressed and hate my life

68 replies

Cindybeale · 10/01/2025 23:47

I'm a lone mother with no family other a disabled mum who spends her days abusing me. To boot my daughter is 13, hates me and we can't seem
to have 5 minutes without her screaming and being horrible. She just pushes me away and to be honest makes me feel like a piece of shit. I end up being shouted at so much I lose it and walk away so she's on her own and I am. I don't know which way to turn anymore I feel like iv given up my life to be a mum as iv got no one else and work and don't go out so I can be her taxi.
I don't ask for a lot back but we can't have 5 minutes without her being horrible.

I'm really at my lowest ebb with it all

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:47

She would tell you I'm putting her down I honestly feel like at this stage I can't try any harder so I'm feeling like I need to pull back a bit and now accept it

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:49

user1492757084 · 11/01/2025 05:08

Send her to her Dad's without her mobile phone for a few weeks while you rest up. Her Dad should be able to understand that you are not well.
Seek some assistance for your own needs.
Have your daughter spend more days each week at her Dad's for the whole year.
Don't contemplate having her more often until she has calmed down and appreciates you and treats you with respect and good manners.
Don't attend to your mother unless she also treats you with respect.

Edited

I actually think this is the best idea
iv been to present and to accomodating trying to give her the best life and none of it works

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:52

Whyamisopathetic · 11/01/2025 05:09

I am so sorry you are feeling crap @Cindybeale

It must be hell for you! I know others have said it’s normal for teens, but that’s ok if you have a partner or extended family for support, you clearly don’t.

you have said that she screams and shouts at you no matter how nice you are. As hard as this is she needs to learn some respect. You are not her doormat or taxi.

  1. Where are you taxiing her to and from?
  2. What are you giving her money for?
  3. What is her behaviour like at school?
  4. Does she help you in the house?

Hang in there Op x

I give her money for everything she wants which I know is wrong I just wanted her to have a good social life as I worry about her being isolated as we have a shit family.
I give her lifts to and from parties she is invited to and friends houses, even that she is not happy with as I won't let her stay out till 11/12 whucg is what she wants.
her behaviour is getting so bad at school she constantly has a detention.
no she doesn't I have stopped pocket money but really it makes no difference to her she has nothing to work for as she gets everything. I rojnd out my mum was giving her money which I didn't know about

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:54

It's even things like I'm quite legs which I try and work on but she will make constant reference to my body size and how I look in a horrible way or things like why would she hang around with me. It has started gradually since year 7 but there's been good times in between now it's just ful on horrible every time

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:57

Userxyd · 11/01/2025 04:31

Agree you need to limit time with your mum until you've recharged.
If your DD is having a rough time could you dangle the carrot of a day off school as a mental health day, on the condition it's a phone/internet free day doing stuff with you?
You could take the day off too and make breakfast together, watch a film, play a game, go for a walk in the park, tidy her room, and basically reconnect? Talk about everything she wants to, talk about why she hates going to her dads, maybe tell her she can skip seeing him this week too as long as she talks to you and opens up.
You could plan future things, organising her things, painting her walls, little things outside of social media that will interest her and inspire her to be nice to you again.
Then once trust is rebuilt you can start to gently restore boundaries with the phone and how she talks to you?

The thing is I have tried all this she goes to her dads 2 hours a week if that she barely see's him I have tried so much and it all just makes it worse I feel like it's because of that she is the way she s I almost feel like iv spoilt her. Most nights she ends up with the phone all night as she kicks off so much and I think about 'choose your arguments' so she gets away with it all but I honestly feel iv created a self righteous monster

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:58

And I don't want to do this I'm dreading today as I love her so much but right now I just don't feel like I can even look at her. And I know she is hurting because of this boy but I feel like if I try and help her or talk to her she will scream at me so what can I do? And why should she get away with screaming and talking to me that way

OP posts:
snapdragonx · 11/01/2025 07:06

You sound exhausted. When she was younger did she have any boundaries? She does sound spoilt and pretty nasty you, I'm not surprised you're struggling. And it also seems she rules the home and dictates both your agendas and social plans. Reclaim authority and respect, have your own plans and she has to become more independent. And more polite or there should be consequences. The idea to leave her with dad is good. Though I'd let him deal with the phone and tell her you'll be out of contact for the week. Then have a break and a regroup.

Wildwalksinjanuary · 11/01/2025 07:29

Two things op:

It’s time to carve out time for you. She has a father that can be called in an emergency. You turn off your phone for two hours a week and swim. You meet up with a friend for coffee. You prioritize your own well being 3 times a week, you are not on call 247, you tell her in advance you are unavailable between said hours. To call her father with any issues.
Sit down and work out the best times, and continue regardless of her disapproval. Your life matters too.

Sevondly and kindly. Why is a 13 year old having ‘boy trouble’ she is much too young op. I wonder if she is feeling overwhelmed? I would want to get to the bottom of why she is struggling so much, I wouldn’t see her outbursts as anger but a cry for help. I would be checking her phone (all platforms) checking with the school and ensuring she isn’t being bullied/taken advantage of or other issues in the background. I would leave no stone untouched.

Plan some days out with her, try to connect through walking, or a shared activity and start to really build back your connection with her. You can do this more easily, if you have had time to swim and take care of yourself op.

NoKnickerElastic · 11/01/2025 07:37

I'm so sorry to read this. I've been through it to some extent and it's really hard not to take it personally. I tried all sorts of approaches and used to get angry myself but that just ramps it up. The thing that worked best for me was just completely calm. When DD was abusive I would just calmly say "it's not ok to speak to me like that, we'll talk when you're less angry" and walk away. Every single time. Our relationship has improved significantly.

Soñando25 · 11/01/2025 08:02

NoKnickerElastic · 11/01/2025 07:37

I'm so sorry to read this. I've been through it to some extent and it's really hard not to take it personally. I tried all sorts of approaches and used to get angry myself but that just ramps it up. The thing that worked best for me was just completely calm. When DD was abusive I would just calmly say "it's not ok to speak to me like that, we'll talk when you're less angry" and walk away. Every single time. Our relationship has improved significantly.

I think this is excellent advice.

isthesolution · 11/01/2025 08:10

It's so so hard but it sounds to me like there needs to be some consequences for her actions.

Sit down and have a chat with her. Tell her that she will get £x of pocket money each week. For this she will do a few small jobs around the house and she will be pleasant and respectful to you. If she isn't - she doesn't get the pocket money.

I'd also be saying that lifts are a privilege not a right and if she wants one then she needs to ask nicely and in return she will need to (be nice/tidy room/help with dinner)

Also 10pm is late for her to be out anywhere - I'm not sure id be ok with that at 13. Where is she going/what doing?

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 10:36

NeedANapAgain · 11/01/2025 05:18

We lived through raised five teenagers, two of whom inherited my Au/ADHD. The best piece of advice I can give is don’t engage in a shouting match with her. Acknowledge that she’s angry and upset, but ask that she not take it on others. If she wants to talk, tell her you’d be happy to listen and support her, but only if she talks calmly. And then mean it - don’t cave in to her anger.

I have told my kids endless times to go somewhere quiet, get themselves under control, and come back when they’re ready to talk, because if they can’t talk about what’s bothering them, how am I supposed to help?

They’re all in their 30s now, and they still talk to us and to each other. But it took a few hellish years to get here.

I agree with the poster above.

Step back slightly op. Make sure it’s clear to your dd that the lines of communication are very much open but you will only listen when the conversation is calm.

Do not shout back. Step away. Grab your coat and leave the house if you have to.

ND teen girls sometimes chase dopamine by engaging in arguments with their “safe” person, which is you, in order to offload their own anxieties and frustration. She wants to be grown up and have those freedoms, but knows she isn’t capable yet, and that’s frustrating. But don’t allow her to goad you either. You are not her kicking ball!

She doesn’t hate you. She hates herself and is projecting that on to you. So don’t make the serious mistake of taking what she says personally.

I would say op to be a bit less available to your mum and dd. You are squashed between the two of them and need some space of your own, Don’t always be available to drive your dd somewhere. Don’t always be waiting on her. Be busy with your own friends too. Maybe ringfence one or two times a week when you do something just for yourself and your own enjoyment.

Allow natural consequences to occur. Out of interest, what did your dd do at Christmas if she didn’t spend time with you?

Adolescence is a marathon not a sprint. Things will improve in five years or so, but you have to prepare yourself for the long haul, So do things which bring you happiness op. Don’t just stop prioritising yourself in the meantime as that won’t be good for your dd either.

I would draw some boundaries around the time when she is with her dad. Assuming he is a safe person to be with, and there are no reasons for her to object to being with him, even if your dd hates being there, there is no need for her to be telephoning you all the time. When she is with her dad, don’t be available so much. Only in emergencies or say “you can call me between 8 and 9 tonight”. Put some boundaries around it so you get your time to rejuvenate a bit before she comes back, You are allowed a break. It’s important that you have one.

You are in charge of your own time op. I know you work long hours but try and go out for an hour or so a couple of evenings a week. Exercise or see friends. Do things that boost you up a bit.

This is going to sound strange but I think teen girls test us for resilience. Because they feel so unstable, they verbally “kick” us to make sure that we are firmly anchored, so they know that they can rely on us to be steady. And if we betray weakness or fragility, they come for us even harder, I don’t think it’s deliberate. I think it’s because their emotions make them feel out of control.

So step back.keep calm, get your own mh in order. Don’t shout, just be steady. And most of all, enjoy modelling for your dd, what a healthy adult woman’s life looks like. She needs you to be cheerful, obviously not in a Disney way, but she needs you to be positive and not get so bogged down in her problems, that you cannot thrive yourself. She also needs to see that some aspects of adulthood can be fun and it’s not all stress and conflict.

Bring your friends home. Arrange a fund-raiser for charity in your home. Anything to get the dynamic away from you versus her. Work together painting a room?

Do continue to go out with her in public. Take her for coffees or fast food. If she kicks off be unflustered. You tried. Tell her you love her and you enjoy spending time with her but not when she is being rude and disrespectful. Tell her you will try again another time and quietly get up and walk away and leave her to make her own way home,

I once left my dd (I knew she had phone and money) at a railway station about forty minutes from our house because she was being so foul to me, Her attitude improved a bit after that.

Make sure your dd starts doing her own washing, And helps with the cooking and food shopping. Maybe even put her in charge of food one night a week? Don’t become her slave.

I recommend the book, Untangled, and other books on the subject of teen girls, by Lisa Damour who also has a podcast.

And if it gets to the point where your dd gets really out of control, try and get her to see a licensed psychologist who specialises in adolescence and ND.

Ask for talking therapy at the gp for yourself if you need it.

You can do this op! You are doing it already. Just by being a steady loving presence in your dd’s life, you are helping her, even though it feels hellish!

And you are not alone. A lot of this sort of teenage interaction goes on behind closed doors but it’s not spoken about by parents so don’t feel like you are failing. Your dd is lucky to have you. Hang in there.

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 10:45

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 06:58

And I don't want to do this I'm dreading today as I love her so much but right now I just don't feel like I can even look at her. And I know she is hurting because of this boy but I feel like if I try and help her or talk to her she will scream at me so what can I do? And why should she get away with screaming and talking to me that way

Op, about this boy, surely this is just a friendship? She’s thirteen fhs! Why are you giving it so much bandwidth? You can be sympathetic but don’t be too encouraging.

ADHD girls can be quite vulnerable to peer pressure and pressure from boys so check she is safe.

At this age your dd should be focusing on her studies, her extra curricular activities, and her girlfriends.

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 10:57

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 10:45

Op, about this boy, surely this is just a friendship? She’s thirteen fhs! Why are you giving it so much bandwidth? You can be sympathetic but don’t be too encouraging.

ADHD girls can be quite vulnerable to peer pressure and pressure from boys so check she is safe.

At this age your dd should be focusing on her studies, her extra curricular activities, and her girlfriends.

He's her age a boy in school they talked on the phone and he's gone off with another girl. I'm not giving it band width but her excuse today for screaming and shouting at me is because of this this is what she is saying to me. Iv told her it's just another excuse there's always a reason to steal and be rude thank you for all your suggestions.
I really feel like iv tried to do so many things together cooking, chores (which just results in her screaming slamming doors etc) currently I can hear o her room giggling away on the phone. She hasn't got up said good morning or anything she literally cares about nothing less. And I'm so tired and drained I just can't fight this anymore. She evidently doesn't care she won't speak to me unless she needs something and I feel so sad that's how our relationship has got. I can't say good morning or anything cos I'll likely be screamed at.
I do think she needs time at her dads and I need to pull back as I really feel like iv done such a crap job. He will love this as he told me a long time a go I was giving into her and she was manipulating me which I hated and felt upset with him for. I thought I was doing what she needed as she used to get so upset at certain things. She will be so upset if I increase her time with her dad but I feel like she needs it I need it.
i had already booked on a parenting course and counselling as I am struggling so much but today I just feel defeated and again like I can't be in my own home like I'm scared in my own home. Can't even say good morning to my own daughter

OP posts:
Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 10:58

One last thing, I know it’s an ongoing battle that wears you down, but when you say;

Most nights she ends up with the phone all night as she kicks off so much

Do you mean literally all night? Or all evening?

I would definitely be turning off the Wi-fi and keeping phones in a lock box downstairs at bedtime until the following morning.

She can earn extra hours on her phone at weekends by being pleasant and helpful.

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 10:59

I don't know if it would be wrong to ask if she stayed there tonight until tomorrow

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 11:01

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 10:58

One last thing, I know it’s an ongoing battle that wears you down, but when you say;

Most nights she ends up with the phone all night as she kicks off so much

Do you mean literally all night? Or all evening?

I would definitely be turning off the Wi-fi and keeping phones in a lock box downstairs at bedtime until the following morning.

She can earn extra hours on her phone at weekends by being pleasant and helpful.

She fights at bed time to give it in she just won't and will argue sometimes I enforce it and it's awful sometimes I just can't face it
sometimes she goes to sleep at 11.30pm if I'm lucky other nights she stays up until 1-2am

it's all such a mess I can't see the woods for the tree's I'm feeling so low about everything I don't even know where to begin now because it's all going to be such an argument

OP posts:
MinorGodhead · 11/01/2025 11:02

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 00:06

I don't even know how to do this anymore. She hates going to her dads and so when there she constantly texts me to get her. I do feel on the verge of a breakdown I just wish I could have a few days break from it but it would never work

But she’s only 13. You get to say when and where she goes out. Tell her on specific days she’s only allowed to go to places where she can walk home or take public transport safely. You can’t live at her beck and call. With that time you can start to focus on self-care to ground yourself.

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 11:03

To her Tallinn to this boy was quite important and him asking another girl out was hard for her I get that and I don't want to make her unhappy by adding to that to her it is big. But she is like this every day. I'm reluctant to send her away when she is feeling down about that but also I just can't deal with another day of it. It's all on me

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 11:03

MinorGodhead · 11/01/2025 11:02

But she’s only 13. You get to say when and where she goes out. Tell her on specific days she’s only allowed to go to places where she can walk home or take public transport safely. You can’t live at her beck and call. With that time you can start to focus on self-care to ground yourself.

That's how it will be frommmow iv told her she can't go to friends houses or parties anymore as she doesn't have a guaranteed way home and I'm not prepared to do it anymore

OP posts:
Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 11:08

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable if send her to her dad's mums or her dads for the night. I don't want her to feel rejected or sad or unsupportive but also I don't think I can hang on today

OP posts:
BMW6 · 11/01/2025 11:14

Stop trying to be her friend. Your her parent and you need to toughen up with her.

If she's polite and helps around the house she gets pocket money and one or two lifts a week.
No more than that and latest pick-up 10pm.

If she's rude no money or lifts. Say it and mean it.
Send her to live with her dad for a few days so you get a break to recharge your batteries.

If she continues to be rude and disrespectful why not tell her to live with her dad permanently.

Don't take any more abuse from her OP.

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 11:17

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 10:57

He's her age a boy in school they talked on the phone and he's gone off with another girl. I'm not giving it band width but her excuse today for screaming and shouting at me is because of this this is what she is saying to me. Iv told her it's just another excuse there's always a reason to steal and be rude thank you for all your suggestions.
I really feel like iv tried to do so many things together cooking, chores (which just results in her screaming slamming doors etc) currently I can hear o her room giggling away on the phone. She hasn't got up said good morning or anything she literally cares about nothing less. And I'm so tired and drained I just can't fight this anymore. She evidently doesn't care she won't speak to me unless she needs something and I feel so sad that's how our relationship has got. I can't say good morning or anything cos I'll likely be screamed at.
I do think she needs time at her dads and I need to pull back as I really feel like iv done such a crap job. He will love this as he told me a long time a go I was giving into her and she was manipulating me which I hated and felt upset with him for. I thought I was doing what she needed as she used to get so upset at certain things. She will be so upset if I increase her time with her dad but I feel like she needs it I need it.
i had already booked on a parenting course and counselling as I am struggling so much but today I just feel defeated and again like I can't be in my own home like I'm scared in my own home. Can't even say good morning to my own daughter

Oh op I really, really feel for you. I remember feeling drained and defeated too. You need a break!

It’s a good idea that your dd spends more time with her dad.

And her dad might not be so disparaging about your parenting if he has to deal with her for longer and realises what you have been doing day in, day out!

If she complains about going to her dad for longer, looked surprised and just say calmly , “well you have made it very clear how dissatisfied you are with me and things here” - that might make her think a bit.

As for today, how about just taking yourself out to lunch? Don’t tell her where you are going. Leave a note on the kitchen table. Instead of hanging around hoping she says “good morning” be busy with your own stuff. Ring up a friend of yours and have a chat. Or invite a friend to your home so you are not alone with your dd today.

You have NOT done a crap job op. Teens who are ND can be very challenging. In five years she will start to appreciate all you have done for her. And how you have stuck by her.

It sounds like it’s getting to the point where you both need some outside support but I know CAHMS is under-resourced. But maybe worth a try to see if there is a charity offering support for teens who are ND in your area?

Asakindofcurrency789 · 11/01/2025 11:23

Cindybeale · 11/01/2025 11:08

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable if send her to her dad's mums or her dads for the night. I don't want her to feel rejected or sad or unsupportive but also I don't think I can hang on today

Fwiw, I think this is a very good idea. Catch a break for yourself.

It sounds like you have reached your limit.

It will also signal to her that you have limits.

Tumbletowner · 11/01/2025 11:26

Sorry OP and others but I cannot fathom how a teenage child, yes child, is calling the shots and abusing you?