Would you expect your spouse to share their wealth with you

[JollyQuail]

Just wondering, if your partner was considerably wealthier than you, would you expect him to share all his wealth with your after you’re married?

Name added to houses; joint bank accounts, name added to BTL properties.

I would feel very uneasy doing this.

Oh my. ‘Marry your equal???!!’
All people are equal. People aren’t worth more or less because they are ‘better looking’. What a sad way of thinking

If it's a second marriage, or you already have DC, do not do this! Or at least get a pre-nup.

Disagree. Obviously people are unlikely to marry:
people they don't fancy
who don't work at all
with whom they have nothing in common
who come with lots of baggage

So this idea that we will all marry just about anyone seems silly to me. Perhaps you dont like the word equal. Fair enough. But people tend to marry people like them, if you prefer that wording.

Depends.

If we worked our way up and earned those assets while in a marriage then yes, absolutely. Even if one parent was a SAHP, those assets were earned together.

If I was divorced/single and had my own wealth and property in my name, then no. It wouldn't feel right for someone who hadn't jointly built it with me to legally own half (and to legally be able to leave with half of it!)

Depends on the stage of life you are in and these things definitely need to be discussed before you marry. Also depends on whether you have been married before, have kids etc. But once married I think in terms of day to day I would expect to share my money earned from my job with my spouse. If you have a lot of property before marriage then you need to look into how to safeguard that before marriage if you are scared your spouse will marry and then divorce you and expect half of everything.

Well it would "sit right with you" if you considered them a family. If you see them as a transient feature in your life, then I can see why you would resist.

This is a sign that you ultimately dont trust them and think they dont have your best interest at heart - which is basically means you should not share anything with them.

For richer, for poorer.....

Are they even legal in UK ?

My DH is considerably wealthier than me. We are joint tenants of our marital home, which he pays for, obviously I’m to receive any life assurance payouts etc otherwise I’ve not asked to be added to any of his assets. I would find that weird and unnecessary abd a bit grabby honestly. If we were to divorce, which is unlikely, the courts would award me whatever level of assets they considered appropriate

I would, in fact I shared my much bigger assets with my DH. We have only joint accounts, everything is shared. It's why we married, to share our lives, good and bad.

Depends on circumstance. If you aren't planning kids or it's a second marriage with friends up kids, then it makes sense to me to have a prenuptial agreement (though be aware they are not fully binding in uk).

But also be careful OP. People often focus on what will happen in divorce...Being married to someone who is dramatically worse off than you can get very expensive. Unless you are really rich, you end up subsidising another adult. If they are from a much poorer family, there is often a stream of need from family and friends in crisis that you may feel obliged to bail out. There may be debt to pay off. Or projects/investment/training costs to help get your partner set up for a better career/ have a go at their dream etc..... There may also be some very good reason for them having less money, but there may also be financial habits that have contributed to their lack of good fortune. (Overspending, poor debt management, addiction to credit cards, self indulgent life choices, constantly chasing new dreams rather than committing to hard follow through on one thing; unrealistic budgeting etc) all of which can be carried into your new life, applied to your larger pot of money, and wreak havoc. Being married, year after year after year, can be just as expensive as the one huge hit if dividing your assets on divorce. If there is just a difference in your salaries because if profession, the person still has savings, good habits, stability etc, then that's not so bad.

The safer thing is definitely not to get married. But I do appreciate the desire to officially partner due to love. So if you are doing this, get a pre nuptial, but also do far more due diligence- look with a very clear eye on why their finances are the way they are, and have a lot of in depth conversations about financial values, and plans, and be super clear with them and yourself in your boundaries.

That is an odd term to use, but what I think is common in asian countries is for boys/girls to be introduced to people of similar age, educational background, family background, wealth etc. It usually makes a lot of issues fade away as both have had similar upbringing. And contrary to popular belief here most boys/girls have a choice to accept or reject these proposals till they meet and click with someone from a similar background. It seems to have worked well for thousands of years so might not be such a bad idea.

Actually it is very similar to what happens among richer people in the UK where they introduce their children to people of mainly similar background for alliances.

It’s fine not to want to share, but in that case what’s the point of getting married? Marriage is to make you and your spouse one unit, if you don’t want to share wealth and merge finances and lives then what is the point of marriage?

Honestly, no. I had far more than dh. I own my house. Have savings etc. Dh had savings but significantly less than me. He rented.

I love him to bits but I have dd from a previous relationship amd I needed to protect my "wealth" for her.

I had a prenuo drawn up that prevents dh being able to lay claim to my house etc. Anything additional aquire during the marriage is accessible but Anything I came into the marriage with remains mine amd he has no claim on it.

Protect your assets.

When we met, and married a few years later, 35 years ago, I had a City career, my own small house in London and had family money behind me. DH was early career and recently qualified, had a rented room and was as poor as a church mouse but had prospects and we were/are in love because we just gelled.

When we married we, at his request, had a pre-nup type agreement drawn up whereby everything I took to the marriage remained mine and everything subsequently was shared. The agreement lapsed decades ago. It's notable it was his wish, not mine.

Why ? Whether OP considers them family or not is irrelevant. As is whether she trusts them or not. People can change. Relationships can break down. That’s the nub of the problem, and where one partner is considerably wealthier than the other, financial planning is needed so that in the event of a split the other partner can’t lay claim to 50% of assets they had no part in creating. It’s common sense..

Well I think there are a few different ways of looking at it.
Going into marriage, If you're not thinking, I want this person, by my side sharing the exact same lifestyle then why are you getting married?
I couldn't imagine going into it thinking, ah I'll disappear to the Maldives for a week on my own because my partner can only afford Spain. Or that I'd have designer stuff whilst they make do with supermarket clothes, or keeping score that I went to M&S whilst they went to Asda. Or the differences in furniture I afforded that they couldn't afford. I couldn't play poor house, rich house.

But then also at the end of a marriage? How much must it stick in the craw if you've been the saver, the responsible one, financially planning for the future, providing whilst your other half has done the opposite? I imagine that'd be very annoying if they then left with half of everything..

In a second marriage that makes sense. Wouldnt be sharing my children's money with anyone.

Of course, that's the point of marriage.

Otherwise it's just a big party and a ring.

I think you need to rethink who you are marrying is you don’t trust them.

People are bonkers. Marriage is the legal joining of two lives. If you don’t want to do that, don’t get married. Trying to change what marriage means with prenups and agreements and separate bank accounts is all just a waste of energy.

But why get married? What is the meaning of marriage to you?

You need to be aware of the law in your country around this.

At my advanced age, no way would I marry someone with no assets as I wouldn’t trust a pre nup. They can be challenged in a range of situations.

For young people setting out in life, I would expect them to share, especially if they’re having children.

I received £120k from mothers will. Didn't occur to me that it was 'mine' only, I considered it to be coming to us as a family.

Op, your posts suggest you have doubts. So listen to those and postpone or cancel any marriage plans.