One child has inherited AGAIN

[EWAB]

A decade ago my younger son benefited from a massive inheritance.

Essentially my MiL bypassed her three children and left everything to her 6 grandchildren.

The grandchildren: 2 siblings, 3 siblings and my younger child.

SHE WAS ENTITLED TO DO AS SHE PLEASED. IT WAS HER MONEY.

The fallout was quite seismic for lots of reasons. My partner felt that as he only had one child the family of the brother with 3 children benefitted disproportionately.

It was said at the time and I believe this to be the case that the will was designed like this. to stop my elder child from a previous relationship from benefiting as he might have done 40/50 years later if the money had gone directly to my partner.

As for my relationship, my partner refused to consider changing our wills leaving more to elder child who was at the time very unlikely to inherit from his own father. He is now on property ladder but any inheritance will pale into insignificance compared with younger child’s

Well it’s happened again!

Late MiL’s half brother has left his entire estate to the MALE grandchildren of his siblings. Younger son and partner’s nephew and we think 2 or 3 others.

HE WAS ENTITLED TO DO WHAT HE WANTED WITH HIS OWN MONEY.

I genuinely can’t contemplate my two sons having such vastly different lives.

I want advice to come to terms with it . I have disabled voting. I can’t talk to anyone.

That's what I thought.

I suspect the two youngest have been cheated ...

Looks like it was 120k. So not millions.

There's nothing you can do about it, and frankly, I think your husband leaving more to one sibling than the other would be more potentially damaging than the current situation. Treat them equally while accepting that there is no such thing as total equality in life.

Yes. my elder child from a previous relationship

As such, it's not great but also not that surprising. It happens a lot.

Surely this is what happens when you have children with fathers with vastly different wealth?

legally its correct, morally is there a reason why your other child was left ?

This is one of the things that makes blending families so difficult, you cannot make things totally fair and equal between mixed siblings. As much as your DH and his family may get along with your older DC, they will not disadvantage their biological children/grandchildren to benefit someone else's child.

The only thing you can do is adjust your will but that may affect your relationship with your youngest if they find out while you are still here.

I mean, I thought it was law in this country that marriage means everything is passed to the spouse upon death? She should’ve got the full lot not 50%, I don’t get that at all.

Noticed this too. 120k is great, but from the many posts and the way it was referred to, I assumed millions.

Sadly, it's the price the children pay for parents having children with more than one partner. It's harsh, but not unfair.

Spouses inherit automatically only if there is no will stating something different.

I mean, some people have money in life and some don't. That's just the way it is. At least your eldest son is on the property ladder.

Oh here we go again. Today's installment of the soap opera of "blended families" where people have children who have complex step/half relationships and don't like the fact that children are not inheriting apparently large sums of money from people they are only very tangentially connected to.

It's almost as if these situations could be predicted...

There are various things to consider when having multiple children, especially with different fathers.

Inheritance is one of them.

Theres always the chance that one family is going to be better off/have less family members and one child is going to receive more than the other.

This can also be the case for pocket money, holidays, presents etc when you have kids with different families.

Instead of seeing it as a negative thing, I would look at the positives.
Your first son is set up, which is great.

I absolutely would not be changing my will as that may cause issues between the siblings.
Instead, I would try and give the 2nd son more financial help whilst I was still alive.

Did You read the OP?

She knows there's nothing she can do - she asked for advice coning to terms with the hurt this has caused.

"Please don’t let your partner stay there until he dies."

You do realise, that works both ways? If he dies first then you are saying that the OP should not be allowed to remain in the family home afterwards?

The more I read this, the more I can quite see why family members have been careful not to leave money to OP and DP. With feelings this strong, odds are they've been noticed.

Personally, I'd change my own will to leave everything to the disadvantaged child (assuming the definitely won't inherit from anyone else).

No need to even tell your partner if he might kick off or change his to then not leave you anything.

Maybe I watch too many Jane Austin adaptations, but it's not 'just' money. Money affects every aspect of life, including health and education. It equals choices and freedom. Money is crucial to having a decent life.

I am pretty sure that’s not the law when there is a will.

What is interesting is that it was seen as his assets but I assume everything was in his name.

As far as I understand it, the OP has two DC; one with her current DH and one with a previous partner.

Just wow @CovertPiggery (apt name btw) . Your marriage must be utter shit for you to suggest that.

This seems sensible but for some families the remaining partner may end up with a house to live in for the remainder of their life but very little actual money to live off if all other other assets are left to children. They could live a long time on a very small pension or salary in an expensive-to-maintain house while the adult children are rolling in it, cash-wise, from their inheritance of other assets. I wonder in that case if the adult children would be willing to pay for expensive repairs on the house out of their inheritance, knowing they are going to benefit from the sale of it eventually?

It gets quite complicated and each family will have a very unique set of circumstances. Wills should be reviewed regularly.

Doesn't your older son have anyone to inherit from? His dad's family?
You can always give all your wealth to just your younger son?

This is one reason I personally don't think it's right to produce offspring by different co-parents. One and done.