How do you put your DH first?

[Avaricii]

I may have had a bit of a rant at DH today that I don't feel like he ever puts me first. It's kids, him, work, other responsibilities, me.
And he said I don't put him first ever
I feel like I do. I think of him always. I listen to his e.g. need to be more healthy after a really meat heavy December. So I January so make sure that everything I cook is healthy and vegetarian.

When he has to go away for work, make sure everything that is his responsibility is covered (e.g. pick ups).

So I want him to feel heard (my feeling heard is a different issue) but I want to know how you think you make your DH feel special and important to you, ~when you have a FT job and 2 kids~

Oh I'm sure😂

I didn't say it didn't need acknowledgement. I do think it's important to acknowledge each other's contributions. My DP and I are pretty careful not to take each other for granted in that regard. If I go downstairs after work and find he's unloaded the dishwasher or sorted some laundry, I say 'Thanks for doing that' and he says the same to me for the stuff I do.

But I don't consider doing those things to be 'putting each other first', just as sharing the effort of running a joint household.

If you do feel those things are 'putting someone first', that is absolutely fine - and it's fine for the OP to feel that way too. But all I'm saying is that people have really different ideas about what 'putting someone first'. Different things make different people feel loved and if the OP's DH doesn't feel as if she puts him first (or vice versa) then it sounds like they have different ideas about what that means.

I agree with AyeYCan. For me putting each other first means occasionally making sacrifices for each other. Doing things that we might not want to do in order to make the other one happy. My DH loves live music and going to gigs. I don't go to all his gigs with him but I make an effort to go regularly. I also make meals that he likes that I'm not bothered about sometimes. I show an interest in his football team despite not really caring about football..
In return he comes with me to watch some pretty poor quality films (I'm a 48 year old woman with the cinematic tastes of a teenage boy). I just have to mention that I fancy a drink or a snack and he's up and out of his chair getting it for me or even going to the shop. He's currently building me a little library.