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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Turned away from breakfast club! AIBU

223 replies

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 19:22

So every 2 weeks I book and pay for blocks of breakfast club for my child. She goes every morning as I work. I turned up as usual at 7.50 this morning and popped her into her school reception and checked her in. Only to be told that she wasn't booked in on the list this morning. I questioned it and the receptionist said that it had been cancelled by payer. I then checked on my parentpay app and it said that my payments were cancelled! So that's obviously why it had removed my child from her bookings. I had certainly not cancelled her chilcare. I have over £50 loaded onto parentpay. So have absolutely no idea why this has happened. I was told that my little one could not come into breakfast club. So I had to sit in the car with a grumpy cold child who had had no breakfast, be late for work and wait for normal school drop off time. Am I being unreasonable to be upset by this . And wonder why parentpay would just cancel my booking like that. And to be really worried and anxious that this might happen again for no reason.

OP posts:
GRex · 09/01/2025 20:46

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:44

They had space. I asked. They said that the booking had been cancelled. I said I hadn't cancelled it and they checked and said that they could see i had plenty of credit on there. I work In a different school and needed to be in to take my own class of children in at 8.45. And we would never turn a child away from breakfast club.

If there was space, could you not have paid for it on the spot?

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:47

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/01/2025 20:40

Then why say in your op you had a grumpy cold child who had no breakfast

heating was on so not cold

you fed her so had breakfast

What I mean is when we were turned away from breakfast club, and got in the car, I did have a grumpy cold child who'd had no breakfast. And yes we did sit in the car. Luckily I had my own snacks for my own break in my work bag so she had that.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 09/01/2025 20:48

mollymazda · 09/01/2025 20:17

wow... just wow! i can't get my head around your attitude to the situation. your child didn't have breakfast at home because obvs you intended to put them in breakfast club, when this didn't happen, you deemed a banana and a breakfast bar enough and even say 'they'll survivie'.

im assuming you kept the engine running for the entire hour so atleast the kids stayed warm.

mother of the year award... right here

oh get off your high horse. I bet you’re the mum that bakes her own granola bars and cuts her kids sandwich in to teddy bear shapes. Don’t mum shame her!!!

kid was unreasonably turned away from breakfast club, snowing and icy, couldn’t go home and make it back in time. Had breakfast bar and banana. No big deal. And yes, child would survive until 10:30 without food.

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 20:48

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/01/2025 20:46

Blimey, slow cap. A banana and a cereal bar is perfectly fine for a small child who is going to have snacks later on.

That's really annoying OP, and I'm amazed the focus has somehow switched to your apparent shortcomings as a parent. I very much hope you are flagellating yourself and booking yourself onto a parenting course as we speak.

She brought it on herself by implying she sat in a cold car for an hour and didn't make any attempts to feed her child....

But changed her story to "sat in a warm car for an hour and gave child a banana and a fruit bar"

Londonrach1 · 09/01/2025 20:49

Why didn't you go home and make breakfast at home.

bakebeans · 09/01/2025 20:50

So why didn’t you go and get some breakfast. Surely that would have been less energy than complaining on Mumsnet.

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 20:51

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:47

What I mean is when we were turned away from breakfast club, and got in the car, I did have a grumpy cold child who'd had no breakfast. And yes we did sit in the car. Luckily I had my own snacks for my own break in my work bag so she had that.

How far away is this school from home?

thepariscrimefiles · 09/01/2025 20:51

mollymazda · 09/01/2025 20:17

wow... just wow! i can't get my head around your attitude to the situation. your child didn't have breakfast at home because obvs you intended to put them in breakfast club, when this didn't happen, you deemed a banana and a breakfast bar enough and even say 'they'll survivie'.

im assuming you kept the engine running for the entire hour so atleast the kids stayed warm.

mother of the year award... right here

OMG a banana and a breakfast bar is perfectly OK as a one off and OP has said that they get snacks mid-morning.

OP didn't have time to go back home, give her daughter breakfast and get her back in time for school.

This was something outside her control and you are basically saying that she is a negligent mother. Don't be so fucking judgemental.

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 20:51

bakebeans · 09/01/2025 20:50

So why didn’t you go and get some breakfast. Surely that would have been less energy than complaining on Mumsnet.

She didn't need to, because the child had breakfast in the car.

BeLilacSloth · 09/01/2025 20:52

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:47

What I mean is when we were turned away from breakfast club, and got in the car, I did have a grumpy cold child who'd had no breakfast. And yes we did sit in the car. Luckily I had my own snacks for my own break in my work bag so she had that.

So it wasn’t such a big deal? Get over it OP and give the full picture rather than a ridiculous drip feed.

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:52

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/01/2025 20:46

Blimey, slow cap. A banana and a cereal bar is perfectly fine for a small child who is going to have snacks later on.

That's really annoying OP, and I'm amazed the focus has somehow switched to your apparent shortcomings as a parent. I very much hope you are flagellating yourself and booking yourself onto a parenting course as we speak.

It comes with the territory on here. You post for some support/advice/ solidarity and End up getting ripped a new one by half the members. Maybe I did speak a little dramatically 👀💅 a d I regret that ferociously now ! But I wouldn't have expected it to happen. Did the best I could and fancied complaining about on here. Is that really such a crime !

OP posts:
mollymazda · 09/01/2025 20:53

TY78910 · 09/01/2025 20:48

oh get off your high horse. I bet you’re the mum that bakes her own granola bars and cuts her kids sandwich in to teddy bear shapes. Don’t mum shame her!!!

kid was unreasonably turned away from breakfast club, snowing and icy, couldn’t go home and make it back in time. Had breakfast bar and banana. No big deal. And yes, child would survive until 10:30 without food.

no the kid wasn't unreasonably turned away.. the OP says they were, but the OP also says that they had space? so whats the real story? I do not believe that a breakfast club at a school would turn a child away? so, i'm sorry, i'm not buying it! OP's story keeps changing.. and no i never made my own granola bars, but did cut my DC's sandwiches into love hearts one day

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 20:53

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:52

It comes with the territory on here. You post for some support/advice/ solidarity and End up getting ripped a new one by half the members. Maybe I did speak a little dramatically 👀💅 a d I regret that ferociously now ! But I wouldn't have expected it to happen. Did the best I could and fancied complaining about on here. Is that really such a crime !

Well, maybe keep the drama/exaggeration out of it next time and Keep it to the facts

You would have definitely had more support!

PeloMom · 09/01/2025 20:54

Since they had a spot can’t you just pay and she goes in?

Tia86 · 09/01/2025 20:54

That does seem odd that they had space but wouldn't take her. Our school would have taken her in that case and just deducted the funds from your account.
What reason did they give as surely her name could have been added to a register?

mollymazda · 09/01/2025 20:54

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 20:53

Well, maybe keep the drama/exaggeration out of it next time and Keep it to the facts

You would have definitely had more support!

this

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:56

I'm sorry for being a drama queen.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:00

mollymazda · 09/01/2025 20:53

no the kid wasn't unreasonably turned away.. the OP says they were, but the OP also says that they had space? so whats the real story? I do not believe that a breakfast club at a school would turn a child away? so, i'm sorry, i'm not buying it! OP's story keeps changing.. and no i never made my own granola bars, but did cut my DC's sandwiches into love hearts one day

How do you know she wasn’t turned away? OP says she has because she wasn’t booked in on the system. Literally no because no. Her story doesn’t keep changing, she’s correct in saying that DC didn’t have breakfast cos they didn’t - cereal, toast, porridge whatever that’s breakfast. She had to give her a snack which isn’t breakfast but enough to keep her going. It was freezing outside -3 degrees so she hasn’t changed her story there. She sat in the car for 1h. All of that is true. What exactly has she changed? Apart from saying it was freezing when she should have said ‘I had to run the engine and waste petrol for an hour to keep the car warm’ to be correct in your eyes. Even then half of Mumsnet would be outraged she’s polluted the air unnecessarily.

OP - I’m with you. You’ve had a sh*t morning and the school was annoying. Send them an email asking for an explanation. “Hi there, this morning XYZ happened. Please help me understand why”

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 21:02

TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:00

How do you know she wasn’t turned away? OP says she has because she wasn’t booked in on the system. Literally no because no. Her story doesn’t keep changing, she’s correct in saying that DC didn’t have breakfast cos they didn’t - cereal, toast, porridge whatever that’s breakfast. She had to give her a snack which isn’t breakfast but enough to keep her going. It was freezing outside -3 degrees so she hasn’t changed her story there. She sat in the car for 1h. All of that is true. What exactly has she changed? Apart from saying it was freezing when she should have said ‘I had to run the engine and waste petrol for an hour to keep the car warm’ to be correct in your eyes. Even then half of Mumsnet would be outraged she’s polluted the air unnecessarily.

OP - I’m with you. You’ve had a sh*t morning and the school was annoying. Send them an email asking for an explanation. “Hi there, this morning XYZ happened. Please help me understand why”

Breakfast is the first meal of the day. They had breakfast or banana and a fruit bar thing. There's no rules to say it should be e toast, cereal or porridge. My DD(5) had pasta and pesto for breakfast yesterday and an mushroom omelette this morning.

Besides, the crap they give at breakfast clubs really isn't that much better, and probably worse than what the kid had.

C8H10N4O2 · 09/01/2025 21:03

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 20:52

It comes with the territory on here. You post for some support/advice/ solidarity and End up getting ripped a new one by half the members. Maybe I did speak a little dramatically 👀💅 a d I regret that ferociously now ! But I wouldn't have expected it to happen. Did the best I could and fancied complaining about on here. Is that really such a crime !

Personally I hope you follow AIBU Approved Parenting with a craft class so that you can make little gold rosettes for all the perfect parents on this thread.

I'd have been upset as well and its entirely natural for a child to be grumpy when they expect to go and have breakfast with friends and have to sit in the car on a cold day due to some admin cock up.

My personal favourite on these types of threads on a women's forum is all the posters who assume there must be a handy nearby cafe and that your job isn't important enough for it to matter if you are late.

Apparently all mothers WFH and live SW London doing jobs which simultaneously don't require them to be there at any particular time (whilst paying six figure salaries).

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 09/01/2025 21:03

TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:00

How do you know she wasn’t turned away? OP says she has because she wasn’t booked in on the system. Literally no because no. Her story doesn’t keep changing, she’s correct in saying that DC didn’t have breakfast cos they didn’t - cereal, toast, porridge whatever that’s breakfast. She had to give her a snack which isn’t breakfast but enough to keep her going. It was freezing outside -3 degrees so she hasn’t changed her story there. She sat in the car for 1h. All of that is true. What exactly has she changed? Apart from saying it was freezing when she should have said ‘I had to run the engine and waste petrol for an hour to keep the car warm’ to be correct in your eyes. Even then half of Mumsnet would be outraged she’s polluted the air unnecessarily.

OP - I’m with you. You’ve had a sh*t morning and the school was annoying. Send them an email asking for an explanation. “Hi there, this morning XYZ happened. Please help me understand why”

Yes I already have. I've also googled and see other people have had very similar experiences. I just hope this doesn't happen again as it's already so hard to juggle everything. It's done now. And maybe I was a bit dramatic. But I thought this was a safe place. Obviously not

OP posts:
TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:06

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 21:02

Breakfast is the first meal of the day. They had breakfast or banana and a fruit bar thing. There's no rules to say it should be e toast, cereal or porridge. My DD(5) had pasta and pesto for breakfast yesterday and an mushroom omelette this morning.

Besides, the crap they give at breakfast clubs really isn't that much better, and probably worse than what the kid had.

They can have noodles with chocolate sauce and call it breakfast if they want but the point I’m making is it’s not what OP and her child expected as their idea of breakfast. Breakfast was supposed to be some coco pops (for arguments sake)

Saschka · 09/01/2025 21:06

LetsNCagain · 09/01/2025 20:08

No school I've ever worked at has started as late as 8.50.

No primary school need me start that late! 9am around here. Gates open at 8:55.

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 21:07

TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:00

How do you know she wasn’t turned away? OP says she has because she wasn’t booked in on the system. Literally no because no. Her story doesn’t keep changing, she’s correct in saying that DC didn’t have breakfast cos they didn’t - cereal, toast, porridge whatever that’s breakfast. She had to give her a snack which isn’t breakfast but enough to keep her going. It was freezing outside -3 degrees so she hasn’t changed her story there. She sat in the car for 1h. All of that is true. What exactly has she changed? Apart from saying it was freezing when she should have said ‘I had to run the engine and waste petrol for an hour to keep the car warm’ to be correct in your eyes. Even then half of Mumsnet would be outraged she’s polluted the air unnecessarily.

OP - I’m with you. You’ve had a sh*t morning and the school was annoying. Send them an email asking for an explanation. “Hi there, this morning XYZ happened. Please help me understand why”

It was the implication that they sat freezing and hungry for a sad hour whilst the other children were tucking into tureens of hot porridge, eggs benedict and made to order omelettes next toa roaring fire, where they could toast marshmallows if they wished, and the receptionist cackled over her steaming mug tea, in her office, looking at the misery of the OP and her child staring hopefully at the piles of hot sausages and vats of hot chocolate being carted past their car to breakfast club...

fanaticalfairy · 09/01/2025 21:08

TY78910 · 09/01/2025 21:06

They can have noodles with chocolate sauce and call it breakfast if they want but the point I’m making is it’s not what OP and her child expected as their idea of breakfast. Breakfast was supposed to be some coco pops (for arguments sake)

Oh well, I a good lesson in adaptability and resilience.