To dread being perimenopausal

[arcticpandas]

Never heard about about it before visiting mumsnet. On here it seems like everyone is perimenopausal and it seems to be damaging on all levels : MH crisis, weight spike, fatigue etc. I always thought the menopause would be difficult and I'm now 45 waiting for this dreaded perimenopause and then after the menopause. A part of me wants to think this is made up, surely it can't be that bad? I mean we get older ofcourse which is not always a joy.. And how long is one on perimenopause before going into menopause and aren't they the same thing and you can just get hormones to help?

Not everyone is affected badly

It’s a sliding scale of how much you are affected, just like everything in life – PMT, pregnancy, etc. I wouldn’t dread it unless you need to.

Not difficult to educate yourself

I'm 56 now and think I completely bypassed peri and don't really get menopause symptoms either!

Every woman is different. Mine started at 34. Count yourself lucky you’ve not had symptoms.

Those posting on here will only post the worse. And they are a small proportion of the total number going through those stages

I sailed right through, heavier periods then stopped and that was it, hot flushes at night, nothing more, no HRT or anything, and there are lots like me, and none of my close friends or family have had any issues either.

You might have no, or minimal, symptoms. I'm been perimenopausal for a few years. I'm now 50 and still having regular periods. I did have a really bad couple of years with terrible anxiety, panic, brain fog, dizziness etc but I've felt much better for the last year. I don't take HRT but take Menopace, and I think it helps a lot. I don't sleep well some nights, but other nights are great. I'm sometimes a little flat. But generally, I feel pretty good!

I had a few months of heavy periods and that was it. I had no other symptoms and no symptoms when I entered menopause. You might be the same.

You probably are already perimenopausal at 45 given most will will be in menopause by their early 50's and the peri stage lasts for several years prior to menopause with lots of women being in that stage from their 30's. So if you aren't having symptoms at 45 then perhaps you won't suffer much at all? However it is also true that some women don't notice issues prior to menopause but do suffer post menopause and that perhaps for some women issues during the peri stage help them make changes, get treatment and so on before their estrogen receptors shut down. Essentially its a very individual thing so worth being educated about. On the other side is the issues that women start to thing everything that is wrong with them is down to peri and so might miss other conditions or not deal with other problems in their lives.

Try to reframe it in a more positive way. It's something every woman has to go through to get to menopause, which for me (and many of my friends who have been open about it) has been completely liberating and far better than I could have imagined. I will admit I've been lucky, but having terrible effects from it all is not guaranteed for everyone.

Peri menopause can last for up to 10 years prior to menopause. Menopause is when you have not had a period for a year. So no, they are not the same thing. All women are different and yes, if suffering with symptoms, can get HRT to help.

People that aren't affected badly won't go on Mumsnet to talk about it...

I think l might be. Period are starting to have might bigger gaps between and no pattern. No other symptoms. I've never had any problems with periods so don't know if that means I'm likely to have little problem with them stopping or if it's entirely irrelevant.

Either way so far it's all fine. And might well be so for the long-term.

I’m 43 and 2 months into HRT and finally back to my old self. Wish I’d started it years ago!

When I joined a fitness & wellbeing programme aimed at women, one of the coaches suggested I speak to my GP about peri. I put it off for 3 years because… well, I suppose because I didn’t like to make a fuss and convinced myself she was being dramatic.

For me the initial symptoms were brain fog, increased PMT, heavier periods and shorter cycles. Then came irrational rage and crippling anxiety. Eventually I felt so overwhelmed I couldn’t cope with day to day life. Had it not been for my coach prompting me, I’d never have realised these were all symptoms of peri.

I think its really refreshing that we're finally talking about it! Historically some of us might have had symptoms, some quite significant and would have had no idea it could be peri. Now we can get help and support. I've had crippling anxiety and hair loss and my GP is sure its related to peri. Its a relief to know I'm not going mad!

I had much heavier periods but once they'd stopped completely I felt better than I had in years, didn't suffer with hot sweats or anything. I have more energy and lost weight so I think maybe my hormones had been out of whack prior to menopause. It's such a relief not having periods now!

I only heard of this maybe 5/6 years ago, up til then I just thought you hit menopause at some point then Davina McCall and others started talking about it and I became more aware.

I really wouldn't waste your good years in worrying about something that may or may not cause you any issues though.

I'm 56, haven't had a period in years. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis a couple of years ago (strong family history) but other than that I'm absolutely fine. I sleep badly at times but it always rights itself at some point. I feel great, very little in the way of aches or pains, no hot flushes or brain fog (not entirely sure what that entails but I don't think I've experienced it).

My sister is a few years older and has had much the same experience (albeit with more anxiety than she used to have) but otherwise all fine.

I’m 53 & nothing either.

i have the coil so not had a period for 15years anyway.

Im guessing I’ve gone through the menopause, but noticed nothing!

Just gradually lesser periods then stopped (menopause). A few night sweats( change pjs and sheets - slightly grumpy husband).
End of periods- great!

I think of it like mental health issues. Some have it, some don't, but there will always be that one person who milks it and mentions it every five minutes.

We have a friend who is lovely in every possible way, but you bet your house on the topic being raised every-single-phone-call!

Not looking forward to it my end...

Nope. Wasn't something I ever thought about. Had a bit of a shock over something early 50s and never had another period. Wasn't aware of any of the perimenopause issues people seem to have or expect.

At the time I was working with all men, though so i didn't have other females around talking about it!

I am 47 (48 in two months) and taking HRT. My only symptom so far has been bone pain, started HRT and within a week or two it has gone. I cannot say I feel any different now to 10 years ago, certainly not fatter but maybe a little more tired but thats aging in general.

Peri & menop were Non events for me. Literally nothing happened.... ok I got older. The same sort of physical things happened to my male x partner. So yes I got older and things happened to my body that were usual when human beings get older. That was it. YMMV.

Apart from some horrendous 3 week periods, l don't think l had any peri menopause symptoms. Last period 6 years,ago, I'm not so keen on sex since but no other problems.

i'm sad to say I'm even hearing 30 somethings dreading it. You might be fine. In fact statistically I'd be interested to hear, but would take a guess the majority are okay.

MN is particularly dreadful for acting like your world will be a horror show. I have yet to find out but the women in my family generally feel like the Kristin Scott Thomas character in Fleabag. It's sad but a mere three years later you couldn't have that scene.

this obsession is mad.

if you have a medical issue, seek advice. I realise a doctor might not be the best person. But if you're fine...great. Enjoy being fine!