To dread being perimenopausal

[arcticpandas]

Never heard about about it before visiting mumsnet. On here it seems like everyone is perimenopausal and it seems to be damaging on all levels : MH crisis, weight spike, fatigue etc. I always thought the menopause would be difficult and I'm now 45 waiting for this dreaded perimenopause and then after the menopause. A part of me wants to think this is made up, surely it can't be that bad? I mean we get older ofcourse which is not always a joy.. And how long is one on perimenopause before going into menopause and aren't they the same thing and you can just get hormones to help?

OP I think you are catastrophising.

I am one of the people who HAS been very badly affected, anxiety and depression, have definitely got a lot less hair than I used to have, vaginal atrophy ans itchy skin.

But I am on HRT and it's OK. Forewarned is forearmed. I had no idea what was happening to me (even though I had had a hysterectomy) and thought I had dementia or had something else very seriously wrong with me. Knowledge is power.

I'm 49 and well into perimenopause, had some hot flushes her and there, some headaches. my skin and hair are dryer but really none of it has been that much of an issue. I'm happy to not always be freezing cold anymore. I'm happy my skin isn't greasy and spotty. Most symptoms only last a short time and them go again IME. I'd take perimenopause over starting my periods any day of the week! I can't wait for my periods to stop, that's got to be worth it surely?

hair loss - please get bloods done and check for thyroid issues or vitamin deficiency.

Oh, sweet summer child 😁

Didn’t really suffer apart from muscle and joint pain. I went onto HRT but it made no difference. Turned out to be magnesium deficiency, the result of taking Lisinopril for acid reflux. It interferes with absorption so I took supplements and solved the problem.

I think that like most things you only hear from those who have negative experiences. Who’s going to moan about a symptomless menopause.

Davina McCall is well known for her work on peri and menopause. She had a dreadful time but it transpired that she had a brain cyst. They can develop very slowly and are often present from birth. The symptoms of an enlarging cyst can be very similar to perimenopause so by attributing it to perimenopause it delayed her diagnosis.

My DSis was similar, but fortunately she didn’t assume it was the menopause, saw her GP who ran some tests. She had a tumour on her pituitary and had to have brain surgery. The differences in her symptoms was subtle but as an HCP she realised that some of the symptoms were not typical in perimenopause although it would be easy to dismiss them as such.

Although the vast majority of women will have some symptoms I think we need to be vigilant that other causes are possible.

I haven't been badly affected. My periods got heavier, but they were also less painful.

I've had a few night sweats which are irritating but not many.

I am coming up to 53 and last period was around October now, but they seem to becoming every 3 months or so, so I might not have finished yet!

That's right it's the fatties fault as ever!! Am slim but have experienced bad symptoms. It's simplistic and pretty misleading to state its those who are overweight who suffer.

That was me and can honestly say that absolutely no one in my circle of friends even mentioned it !! Am not dismissing the menopause but I think perimenopause is talked about on MN more than anywhere else 🤷‍♀️

I'd never even heard of 'peri' before I saw it constantly referred to on here! Certainly wasn't aware of going through it myself, and the menopause for me was simply my periods becoming slightly more erratic, and then they were gone forever.

And even though most women probably don't have such a hard time of it as some obviously do, we've now got women really dreading peri-menopause and the menopause itself,as if suffering is inevitable. It isn't.

42 - regular monthly cycles becoming erratic and when they occur, very, very heavy periods with migraines.

My mood is all over the place. I either cry or blow up at the smallest things. usually only like that couple days every month (pmt). Crazy anxiety with random heart palpitations. Very strong wierd nesting instinct (kids are preteens). Basically, crazy middle age woman. Not sleeping well - used to love it.

it's near constant. I'm not sure how much of this i can take - friends recommended HRT but i don't want to touch anything hormonal. i want the periods to stop forever.

On balance it's a good thing that people talk more openly about the menopause and I wouldn't want to wind the clock back but by God some people go on about it.

I have friends who literally talk about nothing else and everything negative that happens in their life has to be grafted onto a long conversation about the menopause. I have a colleague who attributes every physical symptom I have to "the change". If I'm off work with a cold she will give me the knowing look when I return to the office etc. Not everything in life has to be about the menopause, it's tedious as hell and it doesn't help people approach it in a rational and calm way.

The reality is you just can't know whether its going to affect you badly or not so there's no point worrying. There is quite a lot you can do which has a decent chance of mitigating it. HRT and exercise have helped me a huge amount, to the point that I have very minimal symptoms.

There are no guarantees, but I think muting some of the menopause handwringing in the media and on here will probably help you a bit. It's important to be aware of it, but its very fashionable at the moment and that makes some people a bit obsessed.

Same here.

Trianglelight you are soo lucky.

Like others have said everyone is effected differently. Womens health has been brushed under the carper for so many years, that noise about peri and menopause has only just started to filter through in the last 5 - 7 years in the mainstream media.

I went on HRT at 45 (last year) due to the many symptoms I was suffering with. I'm very pleased that I have. I have open conversations with friends, family and colleagues (if asked or appropriate, I don't just start talking about it)

My mum will tell you that it didn't effect her. It did. She was utterly awful to live with for about 10 years, but you know, she didn't suffer!!

It's very irritating when people imply that the fact that there are so many posts about bad symptoms on here means that women are catastrophising exaggerating or making things up. People with no peri symptoms don't tend to post threads about their peri symptoms.

There are no guarantees, but I think muting some of the menopause handwringing in the media and on here will probably help you a bit.

Would you describe seeking advice and sympathy for bad peri symptoms as 'handwringing'? Very dismissive and patronising if so.

Same, I'm 54 and the only symptom I've had is periods that seem to be only about once every 4-5 months (I used to be regular as clockwork)

I would do this but I remember the agony of having it removed, it was horrendous!

I'm 55 and sailing through it. Had some itchy skin, a few hot flushes, but honestly nothing like what you read about. Still having periods, missing a few here and there. I can't wait until they stop, tbh, and then it'll be even better. Honestly, try not to worry. None of my friends have horror stories either.

It doesn't happen to all of us. I had migraines and warm glows, but other than that I sailed through the menopause.

I barely noticed it was happening, to be honest.

Jesus, me too.

I'm 38 and already have an anxiety disorder. I'm dreading peri finishing me off!

I do appreciate this!

my periods were absolutely fucking horrendous so I kind of feel this is owed me 😂

The problem with health issues like this is that you only hear from the women who have struggled with it.

I don't like to say it was a breeze because it is rather tone deaf and upsets women for whom it wasn't, but there are more of us than you think.

I never had the anxiety, loss of memory, loss of confidence or cotton wool brain that some women do, nor were my hot flushes a big deal.

The only major problem I had was migraines when I would have been due a period, but those are behind me now.

My only problem now is thinning hair.