To pack up and go abroad with DD for 3 months in September

[Journeyintomelody]

Before I had DD I acted on all of my whims and crazy ideas without hesitation but I'm really not sure about this one. I was thinking of NZ or Cyprus for 3 months before I go back to work. DD would be 18 months. I don't feel like I have anything holding us back. The only thing I can think of is that it might be unfair to take DD away from her grandad who she has grown up with. Have you or would you do this? Any recommendations of places to go? 🤞

Be honest in the comments. Should I keep this as a dream or could it be workable?

YABU- better to give DD stability and keep her in the area she is familiar with
YANBU- go on adventure, its your last chance to do this for a long time.

What about her Dad?

No issues in principle assuming you are a single mum but how would it work financially? Do you have enough savings? Could you get a job easily on return? Also are you legally allowed to remain in those countries for 3 months, I don’t know the rules.

just did it went to Thailand with 4 month old and 3 year old - wanted to make the most of my maternity leave

it was amazing

do it

Yes, single mum. I have enough savings. Not worried about getting a job when I get back. You can stay 90 days in Cyprus, longer in NZ.

You are incredible. Sounds like so much fun!!

I would also like to know this.

Single mum. Already said this 😊

Single mum doesn't mean Dad isn't on the scene which is why I asked the question

I'd wait until dd was older then use the money when they can also enjoy it

If you can afford it and make it work, DEFINITELY do it. I wish I had. I'd do NZ personally, Cyprus is much easier to do as a short holiday in the future. I travelled round NZ in my 20s and it was absolutely amazing. One of my fave ever places. Not cheap though so check if within budget

Cyprus for 90 days would be overkill I think. There’s not that much to do. Re NZ the flight with an 18mo would put me off….a lot, even if you can afford to be in business class with her in her own seat. She’ll likely be v mobile but not yet into binge watching movies. I’d maybe think of somewhere else.

Definitely go ahead (barring visa/ shared parenting/ financial constraints). At this age, it's more about being with you and having new experiences. DS spent 6 weeks in another country when he was a similar age with me and DH between my mat leave ending and DH's SAHD time starting. It was great. Make sure eyou have good health insurance for travel purposes would be my only tip.

I'd do it for sure in your situation! 18 month olds don't need stability, they are very adaptable and if you can afford it, why not fly grandad over for a couple of weeks if he's up for the trip. Would definitely do NZ as easier to do Cyprus as a short trip later on.

I have voted YANBU.My Dd is 28. When she was 2 my DH and I lived in the Middle East for two years away from family and friends

From my perspective, three months is such a short period of time in the life of a young child and most are extremely adaptable.

It really depends on her temperament whether she could be badly affected by the separation. If she’s happy to mix with other children and have other carers etc it will likely be easier for her.

I think I would feel easier if I were to do it, if I knew I could come back anytime if it all went pear shaped.

Great idea. Why not. You’ll have a fabulous time x

YANBU so long as dad isn’t in regular contact? You say single parent but that doesn’t mean the child’s father wouldn’t be heartbroken to miss them for that long.

Obviously there’s a wide range of scenarios but if dad absolutely not involved, go for it.

Do it, amazing memories for you and your can have so much fun together! You can video call her grandad, it's no different from families who live away from their families. My little girls grandparents live away and she's gone 3 months without seeing them before but we video call everyday and they are still close!

If you are a single mum and used donor sperm etc then go for it.

But if there is a dad anywhere in the picture that has PR then you need his permission even if he doesn't see her, or court approval to go if you can't find him. If you have a court order then they allow you 28 days.

I think if your DC has a relationship with her father you would be very unreasonable to take her away from him for 3 months, particularly at such a young age.

If he isn't around you should go for it.

Just as a side note, when I went abroad for the weekend with DC, I was asked at the airport if I had dad's permission to take her abroad. they would not let me pass security until I showed them her birth certificate, that showed I was her mother, and the letter her dad had written giving his permission.

Both. Any chance your dad could travel with you and stay for 2/3 weeks or join you later?

I was raped and her dad doesn't even know her name. Really didn't want to have to spell it out.

Thanks for the replies. Good point about Cyprus being ideal for a short trip in the future (it's one of my favourite places!). I was thinking less about hopping from place to place and more settling in a place for a couple of months to reduce travel time with her. France is the obvious choice but that doesn't feel very adventurous for me as I lived there for years. I do slightly worry about NZ being too far - not sure whether that would be better when she's older, eg. Going for Christmas one year.

Only reason I can think of not to is if there is a Dad on the birth certificate.
Even if he is uninvolved some Passport controls may question it

Yeah, I think NZ is better with older kids who can better take advantage of all the outdoors opportunities and activities. I’d say around 8-12 is ideal.

@LaPalmaLlama Suppose you were going away with a toddler for a few months, where would you go?
(I think you are right about NZ!)

I’d be a bit concerned about if she gets sick which kids of that she frequently do and you’ve got no support network around you.