to say this is selfish from my friend ?

[runallthewayhome]

we had already arranged to go out saturday night
she has then asked me what I am doing saturday day and if I will go out all day with her
she has then asked me what I am doing friday night (I know her, the 'what are you doing' was leading up to asking me to do something. It always is).

I have DH & DC at home. She knows that.

AIBU to say I think she is being selfish asking me to spend friday night, all day saturday and saturday night with her ?

I work FT M-F

Please no one say that I should think it's a compliment that she thought of me when she was thinking who should she spend her free time with, She is looking for someone/anyone.

I would just say that weekend is family time and you are looking forward to the night out.

When DDs were small, on a Friday night I used to quite often fall asleep by 8pm just after they had gone to sleep, and sleep the clock round, as it was so knackering. And that was when I worked 4 days a week and had Friday "off".

Agree with the poster above - show her this thread. I'm sure she'll not want to take up any more of your time.

"AIBU to say I think she is being selfish asking me to spend friday night, all day saturday and saturday night with her ?

Not even remotely selfish unless she gives you a hard time if you say no. Not all of us are in the "my little family" club! I love my family but I love spending time with my friends too.

OP show her this thread to show how "unreasonable and selfish" she is. Make sure you let her know it's about her and your problem will be solved!

Wow. You’re not a very nice person!

She is asking. You can say no.
A little humility and kindness wouldn’t go amiss.

I would just simply say ‘ no sorry, can’t do that’

I cannot understand why everyone is turning the tables on you. To ask someone, who lives close by to spend all weekend with them when you have family commitments is bizarre. Just politely refuse. Tell her your weekends are busy after a full working week.

my guess is she doesn’t enjoy spending time with HER family and is looking for ways to get out of weekends with her partner and kids. I used to have a friend who found it really hard work being with her family, I never understood it as I enjoy being with my family. But this friend got divorced and really enjoyed the days when her kids were at their dad as it gave her the space to do her own thing.

I don't quite understand why this is such a big deal.
Just because you're married with children doesn't mean you have to spend every weekend with them.
If you don't want to spend the weekend with a friend then don't, but of itself, as a proposal on how to spend time, it's not selfish.

If she asked and you said no why are you still mithering about it. Move on.

She struggles a lot as she is older and has no family left plus has a serious underlying medical condition which makes life hard for her.

She has never had kids and honestly doesn't know much about them. That's not an issue to me as my friendship is with her. She really just doesn't realise the importance of Christmas eve when you have kids. There is no malice in it. She relies on her friends to help her through thr Christmas period. I am always happy to meet her near Christmas, exchange gifts etc (normally around the 23rd) but obviously can't do Christmas eve.

Pushing your boundaries because it works for her

This response sparked such joy in me this morning 😊

Not sure it's selfish but she clearly really wants company and is asking, hoping that you'll say yes, without any regard to the fact you're busy and have a family. Is she lonely? Is she one of these people who can't bear to be alone and needs to have plans the whole time? Just be blunt and tell her how it is.

See post about being devastated when auntie buys a doll for her little girl!

It's not selfish, you can just say no

Sounds like you're making something out of nothing to be honest for some bizarre reason

I don't understand your indignation just because she asked.

I'm pretty sure you have posted about this friend before. I particularly dislike the assumption that you can only understand the importance of Christmas eve if you have kids. Maybe she also finds it important and wants to spend it with a good friend.

Asking a question and hoping is selfish?
Cos it sounds like that's all she's done.

What a weird thread

you're not coming across well starting a thread just to slag off your (supposed) friend like this

OP - Do you actually like this friend? Doesn't sound like it.

Yea, you should just say no and stick with the OG plan.

Maybe she just wants to hang out and knows how hard you work and that you need to do something for yourself sometimes?

Hardly selfish.

Id love to have the opportunity to have sleepovers and days out with my friends.
Having 4 children and a partner make it difficult so if you can....and you want too...go.
Although it seems more of a burden to you than a nice time.

Let your hair down.