To ask if you take your children out alone

[ijustdontcareifhedid]

I don’t mean to the park or soft play, more big days out.

YABU yes

YANBU no

I did when they were little and a lot of work - but then DH was away a lot and I was used to getting them round daily.

When we moved had a few bad journeys with pre Teen DD1 finding constant fault with me and trip when IL and kids were a complete pain - so usually did more local things with them - things in this city or nearby town and further afield had DH around.

Post covid cost of living and exam years we go out much less generally but DH taken them out way more with just him and them - for everything to uni trips to shopping to events with work kids want to go along to. It was much more occasionally the younger they were - it's really swapped around.

My Mum rarely took us anywhere by herself - bar routine things like GP or school or occasional shopping trip - now I wonder if she did loads in school holidays when I was younger and I just don't remember.

We have two DC and rarely do I have the opportunity to take my kids out on my own just me and them. Weekends we spend a lot of time as a family together with my DH and generally any holidays, trips away and days out will involve all of us. Both DH and I work FT so we cherish our time together at weekends with the kids.

I do, however, make time for small outings like coffee visits, park walks, dog walks, shopping together with one or both my DC.

This will change this year, no doubt, as we're faced with our first year of trying to juggle school holidays and our annual leave so it'll be a good time for DH and I to separately spend time with DCs.

Six kids..... alone! The non-negotiable is a pushchair

Yes. Years ago, when we had less money and a 'big' day out was a massive luxury, probably not so much because my husband and I wanted to be involved in the experience. But now we are more financially secure and do more we do things when the other is working. I have taken them abroad on my own, for extreme day trips to different parts of the country, to castles and theme parks and just general experience days. Now add my 3 year old nephew to the mix quite often too.

Thinking about it, no I dont. We go out and about, shops, softplay, vist friends, family, local things but I've never taken them away to the zoo or the seaside or a day out in another city.

I really hate driving so that is a factor when going further than local, but also I don't really enjoy being the sole person responsible for both children for a long period of time. I'm not sure why, it makes me uneasy. I certainly wouldn't enjoy it. I actually think it's the driving and it would be on my mind that I had to drive back the whole time and I'd feel snappy and hassled and it probably wouldn't be a very nice experience!

Of course.
I first flew alone with my babies when they were a few weeks old.

Took them both swimming from age 1 and 3 (allowed in the toddlers session, in the small pool at my local pool)

Flew with a 2 and a 4 year old by myself, travelling to airport by foot, then bus then train.

I do big day trips / weekends away / holidays by myself. (I have a DH but he works a lot more than me)
Life would be very boring if I didnt do this.
I dont think I even know anyone who would think twice about doing a day trip alone, with their 2 or 3 or 4 children.

Right?

TBH my DD is a great travel companion - even as a toddler she was nice and good fun. We’ve always had a blast. My best memory is 3 impulse nights in Majorca a few days before she started high school. It was just us, swimming in the sea at sunset. It was amazing.

I was a SAHM at times so I'd take them on holiday alone too...all three.

Yes, definitely. Dh and I both have different interests so we often divide and conquer. We also take them on holiday separately as well as so much easier than getting a dog sitter and hired farm help. I took my ne dc to Spain and Dh took the other to France last year. It’s nice to have one to one time.

Plus 2 had ADHD. They'd have been climbing the walls if they weren't out and about all over.

I've always taken my 5 (soon to be 6) out on my own, whether there's been 1, 2 or all of them. Husband works abroad, and before that was in the forces, so hasn't ever been around too much. If I didn't, we'd never go anywhere!

Love going away just me and DD. Her Dad doesn’t like to travel so it’s always just me and her.

I have two, 21 months apart, and yes, of course. Days out to everywhere from London to the coast, holidays near and far.

And nowadays I will happily take anywhere between 1 and 3 grandkids out or for short breaks away - I'd find more than four days too tiring, I think. I haven't single-handedly taken all 5 out/away, but now the oldest two are both 14, I think it'd be quite doable if they all wanted to do something (fat chance of that level of agreement, though).

Yes, single parent since they were 5 and 2. But even before then I always took them out on my own.

All children are different and it's fair enough to limit certain trips.

I have never taken them to the beach on my own - always take my mum - or gone abroad. And with swimming it's much more fun and easier with another adult as ds1 is a good swimmer and can spend longer in the pool whereas ds2 gets cold quicker.

Some of my friends will never take their kids out on their own though, will never meet me for a day out because I'm on my own and they don't see meeting me as "going out as a family". Sigh. Have to admit it makes me roll my eyes a bit.

I’ve got a nine month old baby and I’m one of those people who is amazed and genuinely impressed seeing parents out with more than one child on their own! I have PPA and PPD and my eldest is autistic so it’s all a bit much at the moment.

To me it really depends on the answer to the question of why are you doing it alone?
If it's a case of your DH working then fair enough and yep I take my kids out alone if my DH is away with work.

If however it's a case of your DH not bothering or constantly having hobby days or friends meet ups etc whilst leaving you to deal with the kids then this is an entirely different issue and shows they are taking the piss and not even bothering to be a parent!

Of course. I'm a capable parent so why wouldn't I. Given there are plenty of parents on here that panic at putting their child to bed by themselves I'm not suprised some cannot cope.

Going against the grain of most other posters, I don't think I ever took my children out on their own on days out, apart from the local park/toddler groups etc. It was just a lot easier going with husband or someone else. My children didn't have any special needs either.

I refuse to be limited by the fact I am a single parent to enable my children to have life experiences, so I research research research, learn a bit of the language, plan meticulously and have potential back up plan in case and swallow any discomfort I have, do things go not as expected, sure, but as long as we are together we muddle through and get there in the end...or have so far!

Children are very intuitive and whilst my DC played me up at home and wherever else they were 'comfortable', when travelling their instincts told them to listen to me and do as I asked, when I asked and that was a suprise, but makes sense.

I find it sad that some people limit what they do with their children when they are in a relationship as it should be easier...ie you always have an emergency plan, which is call your partner for help. Get out there it will boost yours and your children's confidence and when it doesn't go right, you will be able to have a good story to tell.

Yep - DH works long hours and can't think of anything worse than 3 kids bouncing off the walls! Done London overnight, UK holidays, trips to family etc as well. They're a bit older now so might contemplate taking them overseas on my own soon.

I think some pp have lost sight of the fact that MN is a generally wealthier demographic. Most people frankly can't afford 'days out' during every lot of school holidays. When I was a kid we generally only did things like the above PP is describing - park, maybe chips from local cafe or a pasty in the Sayers cafe, local library, play dates with other kids nearby. 'days out' were few and far between and naturally would involve my DF too as they were special family trips. I didn't feel that was a hardship and most of my peers had the same type of lifestyle. And we certainly weren't particularly disadvantaged, my DF was a professional and we lived in one of the more affluent parts of the city. But still, with 3 of us, things add up.

I have anxiety and I do struggle taking my two children out on my own. That doesn’t make me a bad parent, or that I act like a little child. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have had them. What a nasty thing to say.

Single parent with a child with me 100%- sees father two days per year. I felt very alone when she was little, as she has additional needs and I had to cope on my alone so much of the time- at one stage we were alone together 24 hours per day for 12 weeks, just us. Very lucky to have willing grandparents who have helped so much too (they were 250 miles away initially). On my own with her, we have travelled all over- US, Finland, Italy, UK. It helped me become far more resilient and meant that I felt ready to take on leadership at work.

What a bizarre thread. I can’t believe how many people just opt out of trips if they don’t have another adult around. I’ve been a single parent since day 1. I took my kids abroad alone from when they were 2 and 5.

Yes of course, as does my DH. I work part time and it’s just me and 2DC 2 days a week so we’d be very bored if we didn’t do things on those two days.
DH often takes them out on a weekend to spend time with them and give me a break!