Toddlers snatching at playgroup

[TwinMumWithNoName]

Hi, just wondering what other people think of this. I have twins, boy/girl and they turned 2 a few months ago. At playgroup today my girl took a little bike thing off another girl who was about maybe 18 months. I seen it happen and went over and took her off the bike and gave it back. The mum was like oh its OK you don't need to do that she can have it but I said no it's ok she needs to learn not to do that. Anyway about ten mins later I was supervising my son on the bouncy castle and noticed my girl lying on the floor crying. Another mum told me that she had tried to take a ball off a boy prob 18months also and his mum snatched it back off her. She was sitting there while my daughter cried( I guess having a tantrum) and didn't say a word to me about what happened. A few mins later the woman and her son were playing with a ball and the son had toddled off with another ball and the mum was just sitting there with another. There were a whole load of balls around the mum. My girl was gathering them up to put down this big tube thing. She tried to take the mums ball and she was pulling it back and waving it away from her. Obviously I intervened and redirected my daughter to the other balls. I just thought it was really weird. I know my daughter isn't entitled to take what she wants but I found it odd the mum insisted on holding on to the ball when her son had one. They were football size balls so can only play with one at a time and the toys are there for the kids ot parents. I also think it's not OK to snatch back from my daughter and make her cry then just sit there as though it's nothing to do with you. I feel she should have got my attention given I was a few metres away and I would have intervened. I am trying to teach my children about turn taking and sharing but given they are just 2 they havent developed this skill yet and won't for some time. When a child takes something from mine I just let them wouldn't dream of snatching back off a 2 year old I get she probably felt like she was standing up for her smaller son but I think she was inappropriate. Am I been unreasonable thinking this?

Is your comment necessary? What do you get out speaking to people like that. Grow up

So you think your kids should be given whatever they want until you are around to teach them that they can't have everything?

It must be very hard having twins but you are being massively unreasonable.

No I don't think that, ive been clear about that. I don't know how much clearer i can make it and to be honest I'm bored discussing/arguing about it. I've never posted on mumsnet before and I definitely won't be again🤣lots of people have disagreed with me and been civil about it, not implied anything negative about my parenting or my child. The very first poster disagreed and I then agreed with her that I've probably been more annoyed than necessary. And then there's the rest the women who take what they want from a text and zone in on it twisting what I've said, make snide nasty remarks etc. Almost like people enjoy arguing sad really.....

You can't really claim the moral high ground when you go around calling other posters "Karen" 🙄

As a reaction to their snidy message 🤣

Complaining about a 1 year old! Because that is so sane and normal for a grown adult to do.

The mother probably wrongly assumed that the other mothers were all reasonable intelligent enough to know how babies are supposed to act. It is a little thing called evolution that human babies all seem to follow.

I don't snatch back either, but I will speak to the snatcher and tell them they need to give it back. They mostly do. Or you can gently remove. I am not going to snatch or fight with a toddler, but I am teaching that snatching does not win, not so much to others, that us for their parent. However, I want my children to k ow that if they snatch, they have to give it back and I will expe the same of others around them.

You didnt see it happen though!
what if your daughter tried to snatch it off her but she is just keeping it to her son in case she needs it to distract him if his one gets taken away???
Honestly, The other mum just teached your daughter a lesson by showing her that she cant have it all. I actually dont see anything wrong with it as long as your daughter has plenty already. If I was you, i would of taken the opportunity to emphasized that to my daughter, that she dont need more, she has plenty already… dont make your child so entitled.

You don't know she snatched it though? She could have simply taken it back and said "no thank you, it's x's turn" - that's not passive aggressive nor is it snatching. It's her job to teach her child not to let children take things from him and to stand up for himself, as much as it's your job to teach your child not to snatch. No one is in the wrong, your daughter is just a baby still. Playgroups can be really overwhelming I think, I used to overthink things and be really anxious and I'm getting a little bit of that from you here. It's hard enough with one, let alone two so firstly well done for taking them out and about - I know that's not always the easiest thing to do! And secondly, don't sweat the small stuff. You're doing great ❤️

When a child takes something from mine I just let them wouldn't dream of snatching back off a 2 year old I get she probably felt like she was standing up for her smaller son but I think she was inappropriate.

what are you teaching your child by letting another child take something from them? This contradicts with what you do when your child snatches something from another child.
I would tell the other child “sorry, Jackie is playing with that ball, you need to wait”. Stand up for your children.

You are overthinking.
Playgroup and 2 year olds are wild. All the parents (if you are lucky) are focusing on their kids and either

1. encouraging them to play alongside others
2. stage managing 2 year old behaviour "it's nice to share/don't snatch hit scratch
3. defending their child against others. Everyone is just trying to get through it

How do you think the mother should have reacted when your DD tried to snatch a ball from her?

And more importantly, are you going to invest some time into teaching little one not to snatch -especially from adults?

Another mum told me that she had tried to take a ball off a boy prob 18months also and his mum snatched it back off her

If she tried to take it, then presumably she didn't actually get it because then the other mum would have said she had taken the ball.
So the image of the other mum snatching is almost certainly false. What probably happened was that she stopped her from taking it from her son, which I'm sure you would say was the right thing to do, because she has to learn not to take it - as you began your OP with.
And no, she shouldn't have been allowed to take the ball off a mum who was holding it, or anyone else.

If a baby tried to take a ball from me at a child’s playgroup I would give them it because the toys are for the children to play with, not adults and I’m not an arsehole.

Also why ‘especially adults’, adults aren’t some superior beings just because they have survived longer.

That’s wonderful- but I’m curious about what the OP thinks the woman’s reaction should be?

Adults are no more superior beings than children- yet the OP is behaving as if her daughter is.

I got my first playground mum attack against me and my 4yo son.

I'd cared for the daughter and the mum for 2 years before the school started. I took them to urgent care at hospital when her daughter had a head cut at playground, we went to a softplay together, we had arranged to meet at a local park.

Mum is from Ukrain, living close and can't speak English, so I helped her when she looked for job etc. We shared kids snacks and drinks. I would take food for both my son and her daughter.

One day she was annoyed by other mum and she said the mum doesn't like me and my son. She said the mum is crazy etc.

Now her daughter and my son go to the same class and she stopped talkng to me. I say hi, but I felt something was off. She would go with the other mums including the mum she was annoyed with. They'd speak the same language. I thought she was comfortable in the clan.

Recently my son went to the mum like before and asked to share the daughter's snack and the mum told him to back off. It was strange.

3weeks aho my son and her daughter had a bit of fight over a seesaw. The daughter cried, and my son screamed and looked upset. I told my son to apologize to her and they chased each other again. Her mum did not speak when I approached to the clan to talk about weather.

2weeks ago in playground she asked my name(she can't have forgotten) and raised a voice and told me to control my son in front of her clan. I saw both kids looked upset, my son snatched her toy and pulled her jacket hood. I immediately talked to my son not to do it and told him to apologize. I could see my son being very upset. He cannot speak well when he is upset. The mum demonstrated my son pulling her daughter's hood using my hood. I kept telling her they were just playing and my son overstepped and did wrong things. She shouted at me and left with her daughter.

My son was crying hard sensing the tension.
The other mum who was supposed to hate us came to say 'your son can play with mine'

I messaged her to say I spoke to my son and I'd believe they are friends and we were friends.

The mum sent very hostile message , claimed he mistreats her daughter.

We spoke to school and they said kids are always playing together ad best friends, never see my son being unkind. Theclass teacher said they were playing as usual today.

I am so confused with her outburst, and shocked especially after all the history.

I would not raise a voice at the playground, and I would not make a scene in front of children. I would ask both kids why the fight started. If more serious, I would let the mum know if any other kids keep snatching things of my son.

I am starting to blame on our differences.

What is your view?