To think this is a bit mean?

[Gingganggoolies]

My colleague leaves her DS in after school club until 6 when she could easily get him just before 4. I guess I could understand it a couple of times a week but it’s every day and it’s a lot for him (year 1.)

Depends, really. I'm assuming she pays the same fee whether he stays for one hour or three, maybe she feels she might as well get her moneys worth and get some time to herself to get stuff done. If he was really struggling with the long days I would agree with you though but if he's happy enough then it's no biggie.

I wouldn't do it, as I love having as much time with my DC, but maybe this parent needs this time to maintain their equilibrium?!

Yes I agree that’s mean. But I’m a sahm and always loved being with mine - not everyone’s the same. Some kids are probably better off in after school care than being home with their parents! At least they’re playing and getting attention at after school club.

Do you know for sure that she could easily pick him up at 4 or might she be doing other things in that time? And do you know the child is actually struggling? It's a long day but if the child is fine then I don't think it's a problem.

Yabu. None of your business.

Seems a bit off to me. They are long days for a young child, and they probably just want to go home by four.

YABU for judging her.

I wouldn't do it, but I can understand why some would. Particularly if they have a very stressful job, unsupportive partner, poor mental health, if the kid enjoys it etc etc etc. Loads of reasons.

Absolutely none of your business YABU

Agree.

plus adding judgemental colleagues to the list

If she doesn’t want to be with her child, he’s better off with people who do.

YABU, the world is bad enough without parents judging each other.

For what it's worth, DS is also year 1 and is in some form of after school club every day so I can work. If I ever tried to pick him up early he would kick off big time. He loves it!

As a SAHM I think it's perfectly reasonable.

It is mean. I had a few colleagues who did this with nursery aged kids. In nursery from 7am to 5.30pm. I understand needing to work but we where hybrid so on wfh days could have shortened the days, but nope. It's not judgemental imo, it's shit.

My kids love after school club. We don't need to use it now so much but when they used to go more regularly they were annoyed if I picked them up too soon!

I do feel mean as I kind of get it; I find the evenings really hard going as well, just feels like a really long day for him.

She goes home and watches TV for a bit and then picks him up.

Strangely when my child was 4 he was very, very anxious as we had had a lot of trauma at home. (Bereavement and also domestic abuse from his dad.) After school club was one of the things that made him happy after we had left his dad and start to get his confidence back. They had a school garden and he liked composting.
He was there as he had to be as I worked shifts and I picked him up early on days I wasn't working as I was always desperate to see him but the days he was there he did have a good time. He is 17 now and doing really well.
So I don't think it's necessarily bad for children. It's a bit odd though that she doesn't want to pick him up early but as long as he is safe then I don't think it's going to cause him any harm.

Gosh they are very long days for a young child. Very sad.

Why do posters decide they have the right to be so nasty about the OP. Nasty comments about her pants etc. She is asking on an anonymous forum. It is not against Talk Guidelines so why do some posters decide to be so nasty and judgemental about a question.
Don't feel chased away, OP. You have a right to your opinion without the damning comments from some posters who appear to think that only their views right. This site is about debate but some posters police it as if they are in charge of the internet.

She didn't say it was her business, she asked what everyone thought??

Maybe that extra hour for your colleague makes the difference between a relaxed mum with more patience and a happy mood and a rushed, snappy shouty mum?
Maybe he has asked and asked about going to the club because one of his friends goes there.

It's not abusive, she's not neglecting him, he is in a club for a bit, it's fine.

Maybe she needs down time for her own mental health?

It's not up to you to judge.

I agree it sounds a lot for a little kid. You don't know everyone's individual circumstances though. eg She might get very stressed with him at home and longer days is the only way she can manage. In this case it is in his best interests.

I know I find extended periods of time with my kids challenging and I struggle with the idea I don't always like to have them around even though I love them to bits. I try and give people the benefit of assuming they're doing the best they can by their kids as they try and balance their kids' needs with their own (though I recognise this isn't always the case and some people could be putting more effort in).

She goes home and watches TV for a bit and then picks him up

I wouldn't have done it, and I do think that it is a very long day for a child, but perhaps having a couple of hours to herself to unwind means that she's a better mum when she picks him up, and they can then have some quality time without getting stressed. As long as the child seems happy, it's no problem.