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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Women’s workload has increased from wfh

87 replies

Fluffyiguana · 08/01/2025 13:46

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like their workload in the home has gone up so much since they started working from home?

I mean it makes sense with now having two adults in the house 24/7 rather than just a few hours in the evening and weekends.

I just feel like I’m spending my life loading and unloading the dishes, replacing toilet roll, vacuuming, taking the bins out and repairing and replacing household items far more often due to them being so much more in use. The work is never done!

DP does chip in but feel even between us there’s a lot more to do and refresh.

I did not appreciate how much of a difference it makes going out to a place of work 10 hours a day where they have a cleaner emptying the bins, hoovering and replacing kettles from over use!

There are definite advantages to wfh but this is a big disadvantage to me..

OP posts:
Swonderful · 08/01/2025 13:50

Until something drastic changes, women still do the bulk of housework, so wfh makes life much easier.

It's so much easier without 3 hours commuting per day.

GrumpyOldCrone · 08/01/2025 13:57

My DP has worked from home since 2020 and I do hybrid working now: usually 2 days per week at home. The main thing I’ve noticed is that we seem to produce more rubbish than before, but on the other hand I like being able to put the washing on during my lunch break and hang it up during the time I would otherwise be travelling home. And DP does similar when I’m out at work.

So I haven’t noticed an increase in domestic work. The main thing that has increased is our heating bills in the winter, because DP needs the heating on all the time. However, we’re saving on his commuting costs, so that’s something I suppose.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/01/2025 13:59

I agree being at home all day creates so much extra housework. I had this debate on a working Mum Vs SAHM thread as someone was arguing that after being out at work all day they had the same amount of housework & tidying up to do as someone who was home all day with 2 small children!
Their argument was that the kids could trash the house in 5 minutes and mine was well yes, so think how much more they could trash it in 8 hours!
Pre children when I was in an office all day I used to make good use of the work dishwasher for both my breakfast smoothie and of course for my lunch plates etc. Plus using work mugs for drinks etc.
It makes a massive difference.
I think the key solution is that all household members of whatever gender or work status pull their weight.
I think it really helps if the default working (or working outside the home) parent has an opportunity is forced to basically do all childcare and housework for a few days when they are off so they can see what its like.
My dp had to do this when I was ill and he GETS it now.

TeenagersAngst · 08/01/2025 14:02

No, I honestly can't say it creates more housework. When the kids are at school and it's just me and DH in the house we only really use the kettle to make drinks and prepare a snack for lunch which creates very little mess. Not sure what you're doing to generate all this mess if two adults are working most of the day?

As for getting drawn in to other tasks that you wouldn't be able to do if you were WOH, that's a different matter.

Newhi · 08/01/2025 14:03

It’s been the opposite for me, but our marriage is pretty respectful and neither would leave all the chores for the other one to do.

WFH has been a lifesaver for me. I’m finally able to have a great work life balance, no pointless commuting adding a couple of hours to the day, time I can spend with my family.

How are you doing more washing than going to an office? I’m doing less as I don’t wear a different outfit everyday, don’t get sweaty or dirty from commuting

What are you doing to your poor household items?! My work only involves a phone and a laptop though so I can’t comment on what you’re getting up to!!

Moveoverdarlin · 08/01/2025 14:05

No I feel the total opposite. Mainly due to the drop in washing. My husband doesn’t wear a clean work shirt everyday so that’s cut out a lot of washing and ironing. I used to despise ironing his work shirts. I wear casual clothes too, if I haven’t got a teams call no one sees me so I can easily wear the same thing a couple of days in a row which I wouldn’t in the office.

I do all my cleaning and domestic chores in the working day, completely freeing up weekends.

I suppose the only extra work WFH has given me is cleaning up after making lunch but that’s a sandwich - no biggie. Maybe using the kettle a lot more, so have needed a few new ones in the last four years.

Replacing toilet roll might take up 10 seconds a week.

But like I say, I do all housework in my working day. Kind of makes me feel I’m getting paid for it.

Nothatgingerpirate · 08/01/2025 14:10

Go back to the office then.

Original poster
Fluffyiguana · 08/01/2025 14:12

Nothatgingerpirate · 08/01/2025 14:10

Go back to the office then.

I would! Neither of our employers offer that as an option. It saves costs for them

OP posts:
Thursdaygirl · 08/01/2025 14:14

WFH has been a lifesaver for me. I’m finally able to have a great work life balance, no pointless commuting adding a couple of hours to the day, time I can spend with my family.

Same here, so I don't mind an increase in household tasks

Original poster
Fluffyiguana · 08/01/2025 14:18

It's interesting to hear most people feel differently! Each to their own

I'd say it's mainly DP to be honest... he's taken this as an opportunity to have a full on cooked meal from scratch x3 a day and seems to have endless drinks and generate a lot of rubbish.

And there's just more wear and tear of household items because they're being used round the clock now vs evenings and weekends only. e.g. kettle, mugs

No increase in laundry, no.

I'd say he does maybe 30% of the cleaning / household responsibilities.. but it feels like a lot for me to do

OP posts:
ssd · 08/01/2025 14:19

Its kind of gutting hearing people are doing housework when they are being paid to work. But maybe im jealous.

Coopilot · 08/01/2025 14:20

I definitely do far more than my partner as I wfh 3 of my 4 days but that's because it's convenient and good time management. I'd rather spend a bit of my lunch hour cleaning the bathroom rather than flicking on the tv or reading. The day I go into the office, is a long day and I come home to find the little jobs have all been done. Our kids are grown up though so there less to do.

Original poster
Fluffyiguana · 08/01/2025 14:20

ssd · 08/01/2025 14:19

Its kind of gutting hearing people are doing housework when they are being paid to work. But maybe im jealous.

I'm not doing it while I'm working, just lunchtime and after work. Maybe that's the difference 😂

OP posts:
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/01/2025 14:21

Dp is obviously not chipping in enough then if your workload has increased dramatically due to all his cooked breakfasts. If he can cook it he can clean up after himself!

helpfulperson · 08/01/2025 14:22

I think the issue comes when the partner is out all day and mum works from home. The expectation that she can do housework and school runs etc as well as a full time job often with children at home has increased.

mrsm43s · 08/01/2025 14:22

Much better work life balance for me when WfH.

DH and I pretty much do all housework in the hours we used to commute in or in our lunch hour, so outside of our old "working day" we have pretty much no chores to do.

I have noticed a big increase in our energy usage though - but still cheaper than the amount it cost 2 of us to commute into London.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 08/01/2025 14:23

I agree with you OP. The volume of dishes is much greater and I'm spending much more time on hoovering and cleaning bathrooms.

NImumconfused · 08/01/2025 14:28

ssd · 08/01/2025 14:19

Its kind of gutting hearing people are doing housework when they are being paid to work. But maybe im jealous.

I'd have thought for most people it's lunchtime, or before/after work in the time they'd have been commuting (hopefully). It is for us, and just that makes a huge difference.

Can't say I've noticed a massive increase in housework - more mugs in the dishwasher, but that's about it.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 08/01/2025 14:31

No increase in housework here. I've been wfh since 2010.

If he's cooking 3 times a day then he needs to clear up after himself! It's not exactly taxing to put a smoothie jar or Tupperware into the dishwasher either.

Rewis · 08/01/2025 14:31

I cook more and have the dishwasher on more and have more rubbish. But I have to do laundry very rarely now. Tidying and vacuuming have stayed the same.

username299 · 08/01/2025 14:35

Businesses have it made with people paying their own heating and electricity costs.

JHound · 08/01/2025 14:36

Fluffyiguana · 08/01/2025 13:46

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like their workload in the home has gone up so much since they started working from home?

I mean it makes sense with now having two adults in the house 24/7 rather than just a few hours in the evening and weekends.

I just feel like I’m spending my life loading and unloading the dishes, replacing toilet roll, vacuuming, taking the bins out and repairing and replacing household items far more often due to them being so much more in use. The work is never done!

DP does chip in but feel even between us there’s a lot more to do and refresh.

I did not appreciate how much of a difference it makes going out to a place of work 10 hours a day where they have a cleaner emptying the bins, hoovering and replacing kettles from over use!

There are definite advantages to wfh but this is a big disadvantage to me..

Mine is unchanged but it is just me and I do hybrid.

If anything WFH has given me back more time in the evenings and on weekends.

If I had a partner we would be splitting things evenly though so even if there was extra work hopefully I would not notice too much.

ellibelly7 · 08/01/2025 14:37

For me it has, I like my DH being here most days but he likes to work in the kitchen so I can't wash dishes, do any meal prep during the day or put a washing on or even run the hoover while he works like I used to on my own work breaks (I've always been wfh).

So by the time he finishes work we have breakfast and lunch dishes to wash, any housework and washings and meal prep to do and our shopping to take in. I used to have all that done and so DH would just eat our evening meal, wash a few dishes and sit down and relax in the evenings. Now I am on the go until 9 or 10pm most nights. I work less hours than DH so I usually do the bulk of the house stuff but when he used to go out all day I could get it done but now it all has to be done at night.

JHound · 08/01/2025 14:37

ssd · 08/01/2025 14:19

Its kind of gutting hearing people are doing housework when they are being paid to work. But maybe im jealous.

Not really.

I vacuum as a way of taking a break and moving around. If I was in the office I would be walking to the coffee shop or around the block.

Similarly putting on a wash. While the clothes are washing I am not say staring at the machine. I am working.