Am I being prudish, or do I have a point?

[AmIJustAPrude]

NC for this.

I've just sent the following email to a company I ordered underwear from:

I've just received my order confirmation and was quite shocked by the accompanying image. I don't want to screenshot it to resend, so hopefully you can work out the image I mean: it is of two women/girls lying on their fronts outside wearing black pants.

The woman (I hope) or girl on the left is very thin, which immediately made me assume she was a teenager. One of her breasts is clearly visible.

I'm not prudish about breasts at all, but it made me extremely uncomfortable to receive an image of what appears to be an almost-naked teenage girl. Given you also sell bras, it seems totally unnecessary for her to be completely topless.

I recommend you review the images you send out to your customers, as this has put me off using your company again.

As I say, I don't have an issue with breasts- I've breastfed in public many a time. It was mainly the fact that, based on her body shape, the woman/girl in the photo looks very young (post-pubescent, but pre-adult) and the exposed breast was completely unnecessary.

So what do you think: did I overreact?

oh now you’re just being disingenuous.

how are either of those "fetish" they're clearly advertising the fact they have products for all body types.

@AmIJustAPrude ignore the miserable souls who apparently can’t see the funny side. The majority have had a good laugh at your expense and you’ve taken it like a champ!

You are very rude.

I'm a chubster, and I agree with you.

I've seen artwork of characters played by Anna Maxwell Martin (5.6. very slight build) and Jon Hamm (6.2 ish, broad shoulders) criticised as being Pphile coded, because of their build and height difference.
Ironically, this is the same heights as me and my husband. although I suppose that's fine because I'm fat, right? they are both very definitely fully grown adults.

So I finally sat down to compose a grovelling email, and they'd bloody replied! 😬

Thanks very much for your note which made interesting reading.

Firstly, you may be pleased to hear that our e-commerce team were already in the process of switching ‘old’ images out, of which this was one. We have expedited that process since we received your feedback, and the image will be replaced on the ‘Your order’s been dispatched’ email from tomorrow. Thank you.

Secondly, I also want to reassure you a bit more. The model is honestly not a teenager, just a very petite adult. And the picture is horribly deceptive – what you can see under the model’s right armpit is actually her left elbow. I agree this is easy to misinterpret!

I do hope this gives you the confidence to re-shop with Stripe & Stare! There is a £20 e-Gift Card winging its way to you by way of an apology for any offence inadvertently caused.

"Interesting reading" 😂Very restrained of her! I decided not to fess up to having created a whole MN thread about The Breast That Never Was, and acted as if I hadn't realised until I received her email. I replied:

I'm in hysterics as I type this- I can't believe I mistook an elbow for a breast! I'm so sorry you had to spend your time replying to such a ridiculous email. I hope that you got a good laugh out of my email, at least!

Leaving aside the fact that I am clearly an idiot, I do think maybe what added to my discomfort was the fact that the models faces were cropped out- I can't quite put my finger on why, but perhaps it feels a bit impersonal, like they have been reduced to bodies rather than people? It's also much harder to mistake an adult face for a teenage one! Possibly something to consider for the future, although I accept that I'm probably the last person you want to take suggestions from.

The voucher is a very kind gesture, but I won't be using it- I've caused your company enough trouble!

Have a lovely evening

Here endeth the saga! I'm back at work tomorrow (I don't work Wednesdays, hence why I had the time to send prudish emails and create ridiculous Mumsnet threads!) so I will probably leave this thread here. Although I will share the reply to my email, if I get one!

Lastly, I'm genuinely sorry if I have offended anyone- as I say, I am slim myself, so I really wasn't intending to shame anyone based on their body type. I think it's incredibly important for all body types to be represented, including those which are naturally very thin. Something about the image didn't sit right with me (when I thought the elbow was a breast, that is!), which is possibly down to my own unrecognised prejudices.

To end on a lighter note- I showed the email to my wife when she got home, and she thought it was a breast too! I'm not the only idiotic lesbian in this house!

um. no. those designs are all fine and fun for adults too.
and that's coming from someone that pretty much only buys plain, black, granny pants.

You’re a good un for apologising and all. Take the freebie have a laugh, get it spent

Teachers must be well minted these days eh🤑🤪😂

Perfect OP - you can afford ONE glorious pair of knick knacks from the company. Take the voucher!

Oh yes, I do keep meaning to say this- I bought three bras and two pairs of knickers, but they were all on sale! So in total it came to under £40! I promise I would never spend £18 on a pair of pants 😂

if it was a boob though, that definitely wouldn't be a teen boob. for that to be a boob it would be one that has lost some of the fullness (by which I don't mean size) of youth, the way it's hanging.

£20, that's not bad at all. They probably gave you that as thanks for giving them all a good laugh.

that's a hell of a stretch.
I'm sure the majority of women buying the colourful fun designs are doing it because they like colourful, fun designs and are not a minority.
and I'm sure the majority buying them aren't being pervy and trying to look like children.

there are actually a lot of underwear companies doing fun and colourful designs now.

I just buy cheap, plain black granny knickers, but that's mostly because they're cheap and cheerful. the fun ones tend to cost a lot more, and I'd worry about bleeding on them or something and staining them.

I remember in my late teens/early 20s, my friend commenting "you're so lucky you're allowed coloured underwear" because I had a really pretty, purple bra on.
and I laughed because it turned out that there WAS no rule that she was only allowed white underwear, but she'd weirdly assumed her mum would disapprove (and her Mum is really not the sort to mind WHAT colour underwear she bought)

Can’t believe you assumed someone was a teenager because she was skinny.

I agree, buy one snazzy pair to remind you of this day!

but they do in other adverts for the same kind of garments.
why is it only wrong if they're overweight?
overweight people can be sexy too, you know. being fat doesn't mean you are asexual (which, of course, it's fine to be)
us fat girls get to feel sexy too.

Their ads make me feel uncomfortable too, OP - tbh their entire product range does. Cutesy coloured children’s knickers (the kind you buy in multipacks from M&S for little girls) in adult sizes. Really reckon weird if you ask me.

I decided not to fess up to having created a whole MN thread about The Breast That Never Was, and acted as if I hadn't realised until I received her email.

Bless you, but they'll have known about this thread hours ago when the Google alert for the company name pinged into the inbox of someone in marketing.

I've just woken the kids up from laughing so much. This is the funniest thing I have read on here.

You’re brilliant OP, this thread is comedy gold. Thanks for the laugh and your good humour. As soon as I saw the picture I wondered wtf you were on about, it was obviously an elbow, if it was a tit it would have been growing out of her armpit 😂

Me neither, it's an odd assumption. My body size is similar to the woman on the left of the photo OP is referring to, and I'm almost 40!

Oh god this thread 😂😂
Ive been rolling on the floor laughing.

Secondly, I also want to reassure you a bit more. The model is honestly not a teenager, just a very petite adult.

Ah good, the company have confirmed it then!Petite adults do in fact exist 😂

Being thin doesn't mean you look like a teenager. Women are so hard on other women's bodies.

Agreed