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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report neighbour for never using a car seat for their 7 year old

33 replies

IWantSnowNotRain · 07/01/2025 21:02

My ndn never uses a car seat for their 7 year old daughter. They are fully aware of the law. I know this because my dd was playing out with ndn dc and said why do I have to have a car seat when Alice doesn't ( not real name) I said because it's for her safety and the law. My neighbours reply was ' yes that's true sweetie' my dd said so why doesn't Alice then? Ndn replied because her booster seat will ruin the leather on my car seats.
This was early Dec and she still doesn't use one.

It makes me feel terrible that something bad could happen . All for the sake of some car interior potentially getting damaged.
She drives 1 junction on the motorway to school too, which I know as we do the same route .

OP posts:
Tinselinthewhoopsiebasket · 07/01/2025 21:05

I reported exh many times. He told the police he had just popped to get local shop and they didn't care. He had actually done 30 miles on an A road...

Temporaryname158 · 07/01/2025 21:06

I would report it but I wouldn’t expect much action sadly

Babyandmexox · 07/01/2025 21:09

To be honest I would just leave her to it, it's her issue nothing is going to be said or done about it so it's pretty pointless. Maybe she hasn't had the money to buy one it's just been Christmas.

MyUmberSeal · 07/01/2025 21:10

I actually don’t have a view on whether you should or shouldn’t report it. However, it has made me think of my Mum and Dad back in the 80’s taking me and my 4 siblings to Devon in the car, from Surrey, with us all taking it in turns to sit in the footwell either side. That’s not a call for judgement, or a note of comparison of how things have changed, just a reminder of happy memories and laughter and arguments. Happy days.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 07/01/2025 21:10

I would report it. Also if she's worried about the car seats you can get padded protectors that go under the seat

HPandthelastwish · 07/01/2025 21:11

Police unlikely to be interested.

Is the child very tall? DD didn't need a car seat at 7 as she was tall enough to go without.

liveforsummer · 07/01/2025 21:12

The height requirements don't really match the age. Are you sure she legally needs to use one. At 7 both my dc wouldn't have had to by law and they weren't overly tall

DontshootmyRaptors · 07/01/2025 21:12

MyUmberSeal · 07/01/2025 21:10

I actually don’t have a view on whether you should or shouldn’t report it. However, it has made me think of my Mum and Dad back in the 80’s taking me and my 4 siblings to Devon in the car, from Surrey, with us all taking it in turns to sit in the footwell either side. That’s not a call for judgement, or a note of comparison of how things have changed, just a reminder of happy memories and laughter and arguments. Happy days.

Me too in the 1970s from up north to Devon. Sat on my mums knee in the back.

HPandthelastwish · 07/01/2025 21:13

MyUmberSeal · 07/01/2025 21:10

I actually don’t have a view on whether you should or shouldn’t report it. However, it has made me think of my Mum and Dad back in the 80’s taking me and my 4 siblings to Devon in the car, from Surrey, with us all taking it in turns to sit in the footwell either side. That’s not a call for judgement, or a note of comparison of how things have changed, just a reminder of happy memories and laughter and arguments. Happy days.

We used to pile in and I loved it when I got to sit in the boot.

Or a load of us in the back of my Uncles van with a mattress for "safety" on the way to a family BBQ/party

DontshootmyRaptors · 07/01/2025 21:13

I bet they’ll go round and have a chat with them, the police love an easy task.

Frostyaf · 07/01/2025 21:15

Babyandmexox · 07/01/2025 21:09

To be honest I would just leave her to it, it's her issue nothing is going to be said or done about it so it's pretty pointless. Maybe she hasn't had the money to buy one it's just been Christmas.

Oh come on. £10-15 gets you a backless booster, under a hundred for a basic high backed booster. If you can run a car you can ensure you comply with the law.

Edenmum2 · 07/01/2025 21:17

MyUmberSeal · 07/01/2025 21:10

I actually don’t have a view on whether you should or shouldn’t report it. However, it has made me think of my Mum and Dad back in the 80’s taking me and my 4 siblings to Devon in the car, from Surrey, with us all taking it in turns to sit in the footwell either side. That’s not a call for judgement, or a note of comparison of how things have changed, just a reminder of happy memories and laughter and arguments. Happy days.

My mum took me from Sussex to the Lake District in the 80's when I was 3 months old just in a Moses basket on the backseat.

Frostyaf · 07/01/2025 21:17

The height is 4ft 5 inches. However, being the legal height doesn't mean the seatbelt will sit in the correct position across her pelvis/organs and she's still be safe in a car seat

WorkCleanRepeat · 07/01/2025 21:17

Are you sure she needs one? My son was plenty tall enough not to need one at 8. We continued to use it until he was about 9 and started complaining he was too big for/uncomfortable sitting on the booster.

BeMellowOchreZebra · 07/01/2025 21:18

I put a mat down under the seat so it doesn't ruin the seat! Mine are over the height limit but still use a booster seat so the seat belt doesn't cut across the neck.

Sadly some people put their own needs above those of their child.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/01/2025 21:19

Does she deff need one? My 7 year old is over the height limit, we still use a car seat for safety reasons and will for as long as possible, but legally she doesn’t have to.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 07/01/2025 21:20

HPandthelastwish · 07/01/2025 21:11

Police unlikely to be interested.

Is the child very tall? DD didn't need a car seat at 7 as she was tall enough to go without.

The police don't seem to be interested in much anymore, it seems...

nightmarepickle2025 · 07/01/2025 21:20

Mumsnet's obsession with "reporting" people is frankly quite weird and dystopian at times.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 07/01/2025 21:40

Is she quite tall? My dd is tall enough to ride without one, I think, at 5.5

She's still got one ofc

I would leave it, as long as she's wearing a seat belt I guess - I wouldn't want to sour my relationship with them over this

ElsaLion · 07/01/2025 21:44

nightmarepickle2025 · 07/01/2025 21:20

Mumsnet's obsession with "reporting" people is frankly quite weird and dystopian at times.

This. Haven't you got anything better to do OP, like hunting down 'homophobic' or 'racist' Twitter comments made by people, to report them to the police too?

Perhaps your neighbour's 7 year old is tall enough to no longer require a car seat. Perhaps she also knows what is best for her child. The desire to disempower and remove parental choice is a disturbing development in modern society.

scalt · 07/01/2025 21:44

nightmarepickle2025 · 07/01/2025 21:20

Mumsnet's obsession with "reporting" people is frankly quite weird and dystopian at times.

Hear hear.

”should I report this?”
”I think we should ban that.”

Polkadotbabushka · 07/01/2025 21:46

My SIL doesn’t for their son and it infuriates me. They cost like £15! They a lot of stupid things though! I just won’t let them look after my child!

ApplesinmyPocket · 07/01/2025 21:54

nightmarepickle2025 · 07/01/2025 21:20

Mumsnet's obsession with "reporting" people is frankly quite weird and dystopian at times.

It is. And comments like " I just won’t let them look after my child!" always make me laugh. As if people are longing to 'look after your child' and you're punishing them 😜

caringcarer · 08/01/2025 01:07

Temporaryname158 · 07/01/2025 21:06

I would report it but I wouldn’t expect much action sadly

I'd report it. It's everyone's business to sageguard DC.

TheTecknician · 08/01/2025 11:30

On a similar theme, I saw a large van being driven this morning. Two small boys on the front seat - I would say aged under 6. Driver busy looking at his phone and texting. Admittedly I couldn't see if any of them were strapped in but I labelled the driver an irresponsible bastard straight away. Very concerning but never a police officer around at the right time😡.