Skincare, mobile phones too young for 9 year old?

[Black101]

My daughter has over night made new friends at school and is demanding every skincare going because her friends have all the big names, drunk elephant etc and anti ageing, retinol you name it these kids have it all. Apparently if they throw tantrums they get what they want. They also all have mobile phones according to my child which after having teenage daughters myself now grown up I have said no to after seeing the mental health problems they had from social media and watching swiped I am definitely not agreeing to a smart phone at this age. Is anyone else dealing with this on a daily basis? No negativity I’m just a mum doing her best trying to explain why some skincare brands really are not good for a nine year olds skin. Just to add I won’t be buying it just need some new ways to explain she won’t be getting it.

Skin care for 9 year olds. Christ. Really are widening their market, aren’t they?

It's awful, we see it all the time at school. We've even included it in PSHE to try to talk to them about the real motives behind these 'influencers' and the impact they can have on self-esteem.

I was obsessed with "skincare" at that age. Only my idea of it was blue tub nivea.

My niece is 9 and has "fake" versions of drunk elephant/bumbum etc. I dread to think what is in them.

YANBU and doing so well to hold the line against parents who have completely caved to ridiculous demands from their children. 9 year olds don’t need phones and they don’t need expensive skincare which will ruin their skin. Pisses me off being in Sephora seeing pre-teens hanging about the counters.

To add: there is nothing wrong with them learning how to do skincare but that should be a face wash and a bit of moisturiser - Simple and Nivea etc and about cleanliness.

She doesn't need skincare or a mobile phone. You are the parent, OP, so you can say "no".

I’ve seen these kids on TikTok with all this skincare the parents upload hauls of this shit.

No 9-year-old needs retinol. Tell her she can worry about anti-ageing creams when she is an adult. I'm 26 and have been using retinol from age 20 and tbh it has caused more harm than good to my skin - and I'm an adult. Please don't let her start on it.

I cared for a toddler once whos tantrums meant parents brought her whatever she wanted including make up, skincare and expensive perfumes to match mummy.....there are parents around who don't parent. It's our job as parents to ruin children's lives by saying no to things that are not appropriate

Retinol for a 9yr old?! Wtf. Also - my 14yr DC has just spent her first 2 days at school with a newly introduced "zero phone policy". There's a reason for that - so if I were you - hold off for as long as you can.

Don't forget the influencers on social media - kids don't necessarily understand that they're paid to promote the latest fad.

My child also told me aged nine (yr5) that everyone else in the class had a phone.

Very strangely, when I checked with these parents, they knew nothing about phones. I was gobsmacked.

Turns out one girl borrowed her mum's phone for a bit.

Under 16s don't need phones. But you're not a bad parent if you don't get her one.

You're also not a bad parent if you do get her one. You'll only be a bad parent if you don't talk to her about safety, security and mental health. Control her access and parent her with the phone, like you would any toy or whatever, and all can be well.

How snobby

My DD, who is 9 got a moisturiser for her birthday (like e45) for her dry skin, and a burts bees lip balm. That’s all she is having. She does have a phone but it’s an old brick and is used to contact her dad when she’s with me, or used to contact me when she’s with her dad. It has no other apps on it and she definitely does not have unsupervised internet access. She still plays with Barbie’s but has taken an interest in my skin care routine lately, hence the “grown up” moisturiser.

@Pinkissmart actually you're the one being snobby... somehow insinuating that poor parenting or a tricky home life could only be down to a class issue...

How did you get that?

It is snobby to think that only children with ‘tricky home lives’ are ones who ask for these sort of items

I have a 9(almost 10yo) and I can well believe it. This year I've noticed some children seem more like teenagers, getting skin care, bum cream ( apparently firming for cellulite) and phones for christmas and others seem to still have toys ( lego and hoverboards here)

The ones on face cream and phones feel like they've left childhood behind and none look particularly happy, which makes me feel sad.

I will try and prolong my 9yos childhood for as long as I can

My DD(9) says the same, we had a conversation this morning actually where she was bemoaning the fact she didn't have a phone and 'everyone else does'. I just repeatedly tell her it'll just bring any issues home, it increases anxiety, depression and there is no way she will be allowed youtube or social media even if she did have one, which she does understand.

The skincare is awful. I've told DD she just needs to drink water and wear SPF in the summer. Her friends are using retinol products. I dread to think what it'll do to their beautiful skin. I've tried to put her off by saying skincare is what middle aged mums talk about on Mumsnet and they should be embarrassed to be doing something so boring!

Luckily she still plays with toys and dolls and spends her days making up stories. I suspect it's short lived though.

@Pinkissmart do you understand what snobby means?

condescending, patronizing, or socially exclusive; snobbish

I think my comment alluded to the condescending and patronising tone of the post.

• Sun protection cream.

The only ‘skincare’ a 9 year old needs is maybe some Vaseline to stop her lips chapping, some basic e45 type cream if she suffers from dry skin in winter and sun cream when it’s hot.

The only thing other skincare will do is prematurely age her and probably bring her out in spots.

There are some really good YouTube videos that address this exact issue, it’s really worth reading up on it and letting her watch them with you.

You would also be amazed at the amount of girls showing off their grandparents who look incredible for their age and have only ever used one facial product. It really made me think twice about the amount of products I use. Some other good things would be to show her a few pictures of different women - maybe a 25 year old that’s had Botox, fillers etc and a 40 year who has looked after her skin naturally and see who she thinks looks older. It would open up a really good conversation about how more products don’t mean better skin etc.

Love this thank you for doing it and teaching the other side of it, not a easy job either

Well - unless you're in secondary and need an app to open your locker. Saying that - they have now introduced zero phone policy - and use a swipe card. But hey, from age 11 our DD needed her phone....at school!

Under 16s don't need phones

How do you suggest they chat to friends / make plans outside of school without them? Gone are the days where home have landlines.