Skincare, mobile phones too young for 9 year old?

[Black101]

My daughter has over night made new friends at school and is demanding every skincare going because her friends have all the big names, drunk elephant etc and anti ageing, retinol you name it these kids have it all. Apparently if they throw tantrums they get what they want. They also all have mobile phones according to my child which after having teenage daughters myself now grown up I have said no to after seeing the mental health problems they had from social media and watching swiped I am definitely not agreeing to a smart phone at this age. Is anyone else dealing with this on a daily basis? No negativity I’m just a mum doing her best trying to explain why some skincare brands really are not good for a nine year olds skin. Just to add I won’t be buying it just need some new ways to explain she won’t be getting it.

Say no. Limit the exposure to these girls.
Stuck to your family rules and boundaries.

Sorry don't know why my posted quoted someone else

Mine didn't get phones until high school. They had ipads much younger for an hour a day.
Skin care wise nothing wrong with getting her a face wash and a moisturiser with spf. aveno do a nice none foaming face wash. Friend buys spots and stripes for daughter

Hey I was thinking age 14, preferably never though but that’s just me not being very much into social media 😂 I will have to rethink that age. Glad to get others opinions. And yes you are correct about them making money out of children it’s actually disgusting. I personally don’t use anything other than spf because of skin related problems and issues with the ingredients and visits to the dermatologist myself over the years.

And here's me with a 14yr old DS who I have to threaten to get in the shower!

I'm so pleased he has to hand his phone in at reception at start of school day. He has no idea what his number is so can't give it out. He has a smart phone but it is heavily controlled though our parental app and he has no SM other than whatstapp and insta

Sometimes no is a complete sentence. I would not even get into a conversation.

If she wants moisturiser then a basic supermarket one is just fine (it's what I use!)

9 year olds don't need skin care!?
Definitely agree that she needs to understand companies making money out of her if she thinks she's old enough for this stuff.
If it wasn't phones/skin care it would just be something else, they'll always want what the other kids have had.
I don't plan to cave to this with my daughter but I'm hopefully still a long way away!
FWIW I was the last of my friends to have phone at 16 and that was without internet access back then so much less dangerous! I did not suffer any negative effects.

So I don't think there is anything wrong with a 9 year old wanting to look after their skin - my mum was a beautician and she taught me from a young age to look after my skin BUT it was with appropriate products. Just Simple cleanser, toner and moisturiser, she wouldn't allow anything else. As I got older and into my teens I started to use Clinique and carried on for many, many years. I'm now 46 and have really good skin for my age which is in part due to genetics but also due to me learning HOW to use skincare from a young age, not the products themselves. That said, all these huge brands marketing skincare at kids is just a money making scheme which, as an adult we can see clearly, but they cannot at their age. They just see their friends using it and want to do the same. I would suggest you explain to her that these products her friends are using are not appropriate or formulated for young skin and they will cause problems later on. However if she actually wants to learn to take care of her skin then a very simple cleanse, tone, moisturise routine is more than enough and will stand her in good stead for her teen years when hormones come into play and she may develop different issues. I would compromise with her - tell her you'll happily support a skincare routine as long as it is with appropriate products and not all just to fit in with her friends.

The boxes this stuff comes in literally looks like sweet boxes too. They sure do know their audiences.

I have an almost 10yo (so Y5) and she's asked skincare and smelly stuff for her birthday.

Some I have agreed to (she is allowed some E.L.F sheer lip gloss and some Sol De Janeiro spray from her list)

I have said no to actual make up and the Rio De Janeiro bum bum cream.

Mobile phone will provisionally be end of Y6 is preparation for secondary like DC1. This is dependent on her online behaviour though. She sometimes uses granny's phone to message me when MIL is looking after her (I WFH) and I get a barrage of messages.... so no way is she ready to have a phone yet.

Barrage of messages are always very sweet. Lots of "I love you mummy" / "see you soon mummy" / "reply to me if you aren't too busy" but there is just so any of them... and voice notes too!

My dd is 9 and has friends who are obsessed with skin care too. Dd isn’t bothered about it but does want a phone.

I’ve said no to both and told her she’s too young and i think it’s ridiculous. Don’t sugar coat it op. Tell her no, you are too young. The end

Keep saying no, 9 year olds don't need mobiles or skincare. You're right and the friends parents are just ridiculous!
I have an almost 10 year old and she won't be getting a mobile until secondary school, and won't be allowed social media until later than that.

My DD is 10 & going through puberty. She's started getting the odd spot & so I've bought her Simple Cream Cleanser & Moisturiser. She doesn't use it every day though. She has a bit make up but is only allowed to wear it for school discos/Halloween etc. She does put nail varnish on her self (badly!).
Phones - she has an old one of mine with no SIM. She can message me, DH, DS, her grandparents & a couple of friends - but I monitor their chats. I also check her search history & have various restrictions on it.

If you ask my 10 year old she would say she has a phone! She has an old brick which she can use Gchat on to message me when she is at her Dad's! It does nothing else and I can actually see her Google chat account on my phone.

Her 13-year-old sister does have a skincare routine - they all seem to but she is not getting the expensive stuff. She's persuaded me to take a bit better care of my own skin! I wish I hadn't let the 13 year old have social media but so far she seems OK and I monitor it a lot. We did have a meltdown over Christmas when I took her phone away for some bad behaviour , which did make me realise just how obsessed they are with being in contact at all times - to be honest it shocked her too I think and we have had a few honest talks about it.

Yes it’s definitely a trend on TikTok etc where children are all into their skincare brands etc. and do ‘get ready with me’ videos. I’m assuming some of her ‘friends’ have access to TikTok etc. and have been influenced. You’re doing the right thing.

My very nearly 11 Yr old has a locked down phone. Very handy for texting a friend to arrange play dates in holidays, so I don't have too. And uses Spotify. And that's it. I do find it handy for her to ask directly if a friend is free to come over, just like we would have done using the phone in the hall.

Just because you mentioned smartphones, I know you said you're not giving in on that one (I'm so glad), I wondered if you knew of this?

https://smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk/

Totally normal around here. In school they are all into skincare and toys are a thing of the past. My boyfriend's sister just wanted skincare and all this year for Xmas so I just steered her toward face wash etc and no actives. She isn't allowed a mobile though but they all just watch tiktok at their friend's house

As a parent of a nine year old this skincare trend worries me. My daughter thankfully hasn’t mentioned it yet, but I firmly believe the only skincare a child needs is a good wash with a wet flannel, suncream and a basic moisturiser and lip balm if they’ve got particularly dry skin. I don’t allow any social media or gaming where kids can be contacted by strangers. She’s got a kindle with YouTube kids set up but she’s only permitted to use it in the lounge with an adult present. I’ve also made it clear it’s a hard no to a smartphone until secondary school. Maybe I’m strict, but better safe than sorry imo.

FWIW we had this battle with a 12 year old, eventually said she could spend her birthday money on whatever she wished (within reason obviously!). She bought some serums and moisturisers, used them once and they've sat in her drawer ever since. Then she was gutted as she had no money left but lesson learnt!

I wouldn't pay too much attention. It's just a fad.

As another poster has said, we laughed because it takes all our efforts to get her in the shower and brush her teeth, never mind a full skincare routine twice a day 😂

My 9 year old was asking for a phone when she was 8 because a friend at school had one and I simply replied "I don't care what so and so has, you are not having a phone yet" end of conversation. She will of course have a phone one day, but not at 9, same goes for skincare.

This skincare for children thing is ridiculous. My dd is 11 and many of her friends are obsessed with expensive skincare and makeup products. These are also the kids who are allowed free rein on social media, particularly TikTok, which I find utterly astonishing tbh. These are also the same kids whose parents buy them anything they want and they always have all the latest trends (most of which are disregarded soon after). I keep hearing there is a cost of living crisis but you'd never guess it from seeing the amount of trendy crap that is showered onto some of the kids I know.

So OP, stand your ground if this is important to you because the pressure on the kids from social media and other kids is huge.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/anti-ageing-skin-teen-children-retinol-products-b2480162.html.
Useful article. DD started with all the skin care crap and rolled her eyes at us so I looked up young skin and retinol, found the above; retinol burn - couple of pics tell a story;

I also googled review+product X which she'd found on Amazon which had "thousands of great reviews" - some Korean skin care miracle cream which magically under an independent search outside of Amazon threw up a myriad of articles from people with nasty reactions. That was the end of that ask.

So my lesson learned is that you can tell them all you want that Simple or other is perfectly fine but whether they have access to social media or not, all they are hearing at school is how they must have a "routine" and use X products. So actual internet reviews from decent sources carry more weight.

In an unsupervised moment she did spank £20 in Boots on Clinique something or other. Cue a faceful of pimples as it was far too greasy for her perfect skin. Her wish list for Christmas had Cerave on it, that's it.

Phone we managed to stall until secondary school and independent travel to school. It's heavily locked down though with timelimits on most things, no social media incl WhatsApp, no ability to download apps and no internet access except with permission for homework. She loves having unlimited access to TT Rockstars and Duolingo :) Horrible parents that we are.

I have a 10 year old

Skincare- she has asked for stuff but I only but her the basics from the simple range as her skin is changing. I explained the chemicals in other stuff and the need to be careful and she has accepted that. In order to treat her though I will buy her good lipglosses such as P Louise etc as it's only for her lips and I will get her nicer shampoo, conditioners and body washes.

Mobile phone- my daughter was just recently given a phone because I want to be able to contact her at activities, at friends homes. She only has a few numbers on it and has to ask permission to add someone. She doesn't have any social media at all. She has Netflix, Roblox (with chat blocked) and some games she plays that's all. Phones are what you restrict them to be so they don't have to be a big concern here. She doesn't have it during the week and knows we keep it and check it at all times when not with her.

I also want her to learn the safety around it all and being carefully before secondary school when no doubt social media will then come into play.

Also my daughter runs at the weekends and she listen to music on her phone which has actually motivated her into running more so as I said it's up the parents what the phone is used for

Before anyone gives their primary school child a mobile phone they should watch the Swiped documentary on channel 4