Are people rude or just oblivious?

[imtoo]

I had my hair done the other day, hairdresser asked what I used to dry it and I said the AirWrap. She said I bought a different brand, there’s no way I’d waste that much money on a product when I can get cheaper that’s just as good …

I had the full two weeks off at Christmas. Two friends asked what I’d had off and told them and they said - I’d never take that much time off because it’s a waste of leave ..

Have your own opinions sure but why the need to put someone else down? Am I being too sensitive?

@Differentstarts

I'd never pay that seems to be the quote I am looking for rather than I wouldn't pay that.

I thought they were close enough but I was obviously not precise. My apologies.

I am Scottish. Is that influencing my stance on it being just a random opinion that would have no impact on me?

It is rude and a put down. I have a ex friend that used to do this all the time. Nothing I did was ever right. She criticised everything.

You are over sensitive. They are not being rude. They are simply guilty of main character lens. They said what they said because all they were thinking of is what they would do. They were not thinking of you at all when they said what they said

YABU and hearing things that weren't said.

There is nothing rude in either of the examples you have given.
It's called conversation.
It's fine for someone to express their opinion during a conversation.

If you really don't want to engage in conversation, you can use what has been suggested a few times on this thread, along lines of "Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same?" and end the conversation. But you are being weird to think that other people you are chatting to can't put forward their thoughts in a conversation.

Trouble is with social media everyone’s been given a platform to give their opinion. They get likes from those who think the same way so therefore feel validated. I think this has spilled over into real life

I agree OP.
It's rubbish. And annoying.
The people on here disagreeing with you also do this I think!
My SIL does.
Some good comebacks on here for you.
I say something like "Ah well it wouldn't do for us all to be the same."

They aren't rude, just giving an opinion. If you are so sure of your decisions, then that's all that matters. You're too sensitive.

Nothing at all wrong with stating that you made/make a different decision and giving your reasons - but there's absolutely no need to be so rude as to put down the other person's equally valid choice.

In general, using the word 'waste' when talking about somebody else's perfectly valid choice that differs from yours is deliberately disrespectful and going on the offence.

I mean, if they're saying that they like kicking puppies for fun, you very much should make it clear that your own choice not to do that is infinitely better; but when it's just a slightly different and neutral consumer choice or how you budget your annual leave, it's just stupid and pathetic to try to come across as superior.

It just sounds like you're woefully lacking in self-confidence If you feel you have to put somebody's choice of hair dryer down to make yourself feel good.

So I can walk up to someone and say you’re fat and ugly. It’s not rude that’s just my opinion.

I’m not lacking in self confidence over a flipping airwrap . It was just a recent observation I made when I was asked what I used and told I’d wasted my money. I wouldn’t tell anyone they wasted their money as it’s not my money and we all have different priories. I’m capable of saying I have something without the need to put down what someone else has.

I think the poster is saying that the person who criticised you is the one who lacks confidence.

You’re very argumentative on here,,OP. Did you challenge these two commenters in the same spirit, or did you save it for the anonymity of the internet?

😴

Why is the OP on AIBU never allowed to say anything?

Yeah but really OP you should give the airwrap back to your sister's friend 😌

Unfortunately some people will give you their opinion whether you ask for it or not.
And I drive an Audi A5, bad mouth it all you want. I really don't care.
Which is the point I was trying to make earlier.

@imtoo

Thanks - yes, and apologies for any confusion, OP. I was referring throughout my post to a 'you' who might say the kinds of thoughtless, rude things as you highlighted.

I fully agree with you, OP.

Many people have little clue as to how uninteresting their opinions are. The correct, polite response is always, 'how nice'. And then shut up. No one cares what you think.

Hmm. Did the person who gifted you the air wrap recently get married? 🫢🫢

Yes you're being too sensitive, but those people are being too insensitive!

Interesting thread. What I find awkward about these sorts of exchanges, is that it kind of kills a conversation. I find I don't want to come across as defensive, or trying to justify something that isn't even really worth that much consideration so I end up sort of grasping around for a reply or trying to change the subject. I'm up for a debate about Interesting topics where one might have legitimate differences of opinion, but things like appliance preference are just a bit - eh? when it crops up like this. Not sure I'm explaining myself very well, but the thrust of the OP resonates.

I think there’s a difference between people who occasionally do this unintentionally from just sharing their different opinion and some people who constantly make such remarks to put people down.

I agree with PP that it’s often a conversation killer as most people don’t want to be all defensive.

The poster was agreeing with you…

FWIW I voted YANBU but beginning to think that others are right in that you’re over sensitive.

It can be so rude when people offer unsolicited opinions, especially when they're being so critical!

Telling someone they are fat and ugly is rude.

Telling someone a BMW is a waste of money is an opinion.

These are totally different things.

I've spent this evening discussing how to 'take' opinions with my 10 year old. Point one of my advice was who is saying it? Someone you love and respect? Some random? That essential difference is how much weight you place on their opinion.