Are people rude or just oblivious?

[imtoo]

I had my hair done the other day, hairdresser asked what I used to dry it and I said the AirWrap. She said I bought a different brand, there’s no way I’d waste that much money on a product when I can get cheaper that’s just as good …

I had the full two weeks off at Christmas. Two friends asked what I’d had off and told them and they said - I’d never take that much time off because it’s a waste of leave ..

Have your own opinions sure but why the need to put someone else down? Am I being too sensitive?

Honestly I think it depends where you are from.
I moved from the North where we called a spade a spade. I have found now I am in the South it’s softly softly catchee monkey.

People just talk for the point of talking - they don't think about the words coming out of their heads and the effects the pointless words they say have on others.

So many emotionally unintelligent numbskulls around.

In my head I'd be thinking - 'I couldn't give a shit what you think.'
Imagine saying that out loud 😆(what's wrong? it's just my 'opinion')

People are allowed to give opinions without being asked for them 😳

I think it's ruder to assume they need an invitation from you.

'Ah well, it'd be a bit dull if we were all the same, eh?' is a good reply. 🙃

If people make comments like that to my response to their questions, I just reply "Good for you". It shuts them up and isn't rude.

and not only unnecessary, but unnecessarily hostile

Yanbu I hate it when something nice is happening to someone and others feel the need to be negative about it iv had this multiple times with things and it's just unnecessary and it's not you being oversensitive it's them being rude and mean. It's like sharing you've booked a holiday and someone saying it's crap their. Or buying something new and someone telling you how you got ripped of. Or like one of my friends everytime she comes round telling me how much smaller my house is then she remembers every single time and goes on an on about it why she's here but it's really backhanded comments like it's so cosy, it's so cute, it would be nice if you had a .... but I suppose you wouldn't have room for it anywhere, it must drive you mad the kids running about in such a small space how do you cope I just couldn't.

. . . and for those saying 'it's just my opinion / I say it, like it is'.

No it's not - it's just being a cunt.

These comments wouldn’t bother me

👏👏👏 this 100%

Yes because that’s exactly what I mean.

@TheClawDecides it’s absolutely rude to offer an opinion when you haven’t been asked for it, particularly when it’s meant to be idle chitchat like with a hairdresser or colleague. Not everyone wants a debate every time they open their mouths (again, fully aware of the irony here!)

This. Totally agree.

I'm with you OP, when you're just sharing something with someone (especially if they've asked) it's just rude to then talk negatively about it.

It's not about not being allowed an opinion, its about not sharing it all the time when no one asked for it!

This isn’t new, people have always done this.
They were rude I think. Don't ask someone a question and then criticise their choice. Completely different if someone is asking for an opinion. So asking the hairdresser would you recommend an Airwrap? Is completely different.
It’s not unusual though op.
Quite frankly I don’t give a damn when anyone else takes their annual leave, why should I?

@imtoo
they asked you a question and you answered, they then followed up your answer, perhaps bluntly, but is this not called having a conversation?
I admit I am quite blunt, but I am also self aware, so I might have said, I can’t see me every affording an air wrap then you would have the opportunity to say it was a gift.
You probably would think me rude but I would not want to upset anyone and certainly don’t think everyone should be like me, God forbid 😂

How would it make you feel bad if someone says 'I wouldn't pay that' for an item? You choose your feelings. I don't understand why someone saying something as innocuous as that has you in such a tailspin that you're posting here.

Of course it's rude, and comes across as a bit passive aggressive. Some people get their sense of worth through doing things like that so rather than just saying oh that's lovely or whatever, they have to get a dig in.

I don't think its people being oblivious at all.

She didn't say i wouldn't pay that she said i wouldn't waste my money when you can get the same cheaper after op already has it.

Direct, maybe blunt, but reasonable opinions.

Agree about the difference between the north and south of England.

It is rude, she didn't ask for their advice and then didn't ask for their opinion. And why would she be embarrassed about the air wrap, its her choice what she spends her money on!!

But why would you give your opinion on something that has already happened and you wasn't asked it would of been different if op had said I'm thinking of getting one then absolutely say you can get similar cheaper their really not worth the cost but op already has it so either say something nice or nothing at all

Exactly

@Differentstarts

I think both comments are rude AND people are often thoughtless and insensitive.

Criticising someone's choices to their face is rude in my opinion - unless you can make it funny - "I have to take all my Christmas off because work don't like it when I answer the phone drunk".

If you asked 'should I take all my leave at Christmas?", that would be different but you didn't.

Reminds me of the woman at the garage who told DH and me that it would have cost £50 if we'd brought the car in when it first started rattling but now the part was broken, it'll be £350. We both just stared silently at her as she giggled.