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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think very handsome men aren't worth the hassle?

44 replies

Stuffisperplexing · 05/01/2025 22:11

Maybe there are some men out there who are handsome and don't let it affect them but I haven't met one

(Thread inspired by handsome ex texting me in a way that is ostensibly friendly but designed in fact to put me in my place about my own very mediocre looks)

OP posts:
Original poster
Stuffisperplexing · 05/01/2025 22:11

Ps light-hearted

I think

OP posts:
coldcallerbaiter · 05/01/2025 22:13

They are the only ones that are worth the hassle IMO.

When I was young, I never understood why you would want anything other than a handsome bf or dh.

Morningsky · 05/01/2025 22:15

You are probably right.
But to be fair there are a lot of women who similarly think their good looks gives them the right to treat us lesser mortals with disdain.

PeppyGreenFinch · 05/01/2025 22:16

Stuffisperplexing · 05/01/2025 22:11

Maybe there are some men out there who are handsome and don't let it affect them but I haven't met one

(Thread inspired by handsome ex texting me in a way that is ostensibly friendly but designed in fact to put me in my place about my own very mediocre looks)

OMG please share his message (even redacted!)

YANBU.

coldcallerbaiter · 05/01/2025 22:16

I don’t notice men that aren’t good looking.

KimberleyClark · 05/01/2025 22:17

coldcallerbaiter · 05/01/2025 22:13

They are the only ones that are worth the hassle IMO.

When I was young, I never understood why you would want anything other than a handsome bf or dh.

Edited

Handsome is as handsome does.

CalicoPusscat · 05/01/2025 22:17

Just got to be attractive to you, there is variation

sittingonhold · 05/01/2025 22:17

Your ex sounds like a twat and I’m sure you are far from mediocre-looking. And much better off without him.

sometimesmovingforwards · 05/01/2025 22:19

coldcallerbaiter · 05/01/2025 22:16

I don’t notice men that aren’t good looking.

Yup. All people who aren’t good looking are generally invisible / insignificant to anyone that doesn’t know them.

DonaldJohnTrump · 05/01/2025 22:28

Methinks I am. Bigly time.

RenaissanceBaby · 05/01/2025 22:32

I was bullied in school by the “popular” good looking boys. As a result I’ve long been conditioned to not notice conventionally attractive men to protect myself against further rejection, I imagine. It’s so automatic they don’t even appear on my radar.

Average-looking men are far more interesting anyway.

Endofyear · 05/01/2025 22:57

I think handsome is subjective - what you find handsome, I might not! My DH is handsome (I think) and has always had women flirt with him as long as I've known him (35 years) he's very unassuming and often doesn't even realise when a woman is putting the moves on him 😂

Original poster
Stuffisperplexing · 05/01/2025 23:32

Endofyear · 05/01/2025 22:57

I think handsome is subjective - what you find handsome, I might not! My DH is handsome (I think) and has always had women flirt with him as long as I've known him (35 years) he's very unassuming and often doesn't even realise when a woman is putting the moves on him 😂

I mean those guys that have fifteen women on the go at any time (I don't really exaggerate) and girls fall over themselves around them. They seem lovely when they're love bombing you then you realise they're generally not at all.

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 05/01/2025 23:34

Morningsky · 05/01/2025 22:15

You are probably right.
But to be fair there are a lot of women who similarly think their good looks gives them the right to treat us lesser mortals with disdain.

True. Very true.

NoBodyIdRatherBe · 05/01/2025 23:34

Unattractive men are often insecure and aren’t always any better. Average looking blokes are the best bet!

Loubylie · 17/08/2025 14:45

The best men are not particularly handsome but dead sexy.
Defo worth a bit of hassle.

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 14:51

My first boyfriend was the school heart throb and that set the tone for me, so I’ve only been involved with very good looking men. I guess I’m therefore not qualified to answer this thread!

TheDogOnlyEatsBiscuitsIfTheyreDippedInTea · 17/08/2025 14:56

Any relationship that was ‘a hassle’, I didn’t bother with, whether romantic or friendship. I wouldn’t have dated anyone I was attracted to though.

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/08/2025 14:57

I think men who think they are very handsome aren’t worth the bother, because they tend to be a) arrogant and b) shallow.

Generally speaking they aren’t particularly clever or sexy, both of which are more attractive than conventional handsome (for me).

But to be fair there are some men who are handsome and don’t know it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/08/2025 14:57

I think men who think they are very handsome aren’t worth the bother, because they tend to be a) arrogant and b) shallow.

Generally speaking they aren’t particularly clever or sexy, both of which are more attractive than conventional handsome (for me).

But to be fair there are some men who are handsome and don’t know it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/08/2025 14:57

Sorry posted twice!

BettyBobble · 17/08/2025 15:00

CalicoPusscat · 05/01/2025 22:17

Just got to be attractive to you, there is variation

This. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My partner isn't classically handsome. He's nearly a decade older than me, is over weight and is full grey haired. He's nothing like my usual type but I fancy the arse off of him

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 15:06

Beauty is totally in the eye of the beholder. I have no clue what people see in Leonardo DiCaprio - genuinely I don't. To me he looks like Hey Arnold... You can tell me he is objectively attractive, but I don't agree, I wouldn't touch him with someone else's bargepole.

I think the issues more arise where people THINK they are god's gift - and that shows in their behaviour. Surely this is the crux of the crappiness?

The person I have loved most in my life - and found incredibly sexy - has been referred to as follows by people in the past 'He looks a bit like an owl' and 'His voice is a bit camp isn't it?' No one I have met since is sexier, hands down.

We are all strange chemical animals at the end of the day!

Wheech · 17/08/2025 15:23

People are what they are regardless of looks. When I was younger I made assumptions that less good looking men might be less likely to treat me badly or cheat because they'd be more keen to hang on to me, knowing I'd not be easily replaced. Sadly that wasn't the case. My current bf of 4 years is extremely good looking, as in even men regularly come up and tell him how handsome he is, and women ask him out a lot. But he is a decent person and has never needed to play games and is the easiest person I have ever been in a relationship with because I know exactly what I'm getting.

DonaldJohnTrump · 17/08/2025 15:59

Oh, but we are...bigly time.

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