To think very handsome men aren't worth the hassle?

[Stuffisperplexing]

Maybe there are some men out there who are handsome and don't let it affect them but I haven't met one

(Thread inspired by handsome ex texting me in a way that is ostensibly friendly but designed in fact to put me in my place about my own very mediocre looks)

Isn’t it also a bit arrogant to assume someone wouldn’t cheat on you because you don’t think they could do any better than you?

I think there are two types

Men who grew up good looking, were good looking as teens… generally dicks

Men who were average as teens and grew into their looks … much better

and those of us still waiting to grow into our looks are the absolute peak of loveliness

No men are worth the hassle in my opinion.

😂😂 guess they don’t notice you either

There is certainly some logic in that!

Yes! There are the very odd ones who don’t know how attractive they are. But few and far between.

Most men rate themselves as higher in attractiveness than a woman would rate them, of course. There’s some research about that somewhere.

Good looking men don’t have anything to prove. I think it’s the ugly ones who are worse

Most men aren't worth the hassle.

Particularly short ones are the worst. Short Essex boys, the most obnoxious I ever met.

Yes it was! I let myself be sucked into their hype about how wonderful I was and they couldn't believe their luck etc etc. I'm older and wiser now.

I‘m curious what his message was? How do you convey that in a text?

The statistics show that a tiny minority of very attractive men on dating apps get nearly all the female interest, so those men have a very strong disincentive to commit to any particular one. (This doesn't happen the other way around, men are much less selective and far more desperate than women, so cast their nets much wider.)

The mating preferences of women combined with the infinitely larger pool of men they appear to have access to on dating apps may have the unintended consequence of driving society back towards polygamy. Apparently monogamy is a historical aberration, we may now returning to what has been more normal through-out human history, a minority of desirable men father all the children, and a lot of men have no offspring. I think I read somewhere that we all have twice as many female ancestors as male ones, because historically nearly every woman who was biologically capable of giving birth did so, but a lot of men did not get to have children.

There are huge differences between the way men rate women and the way women rate men. Women rate 80% of men as below average. Men (much more reasonably) categorise close to 50% of women that way.

Also, when scoring out of 10 for looks, women give significantly higher rating to men they know, compared to men they don't. For men, whether or not they know a woman makes no difference to how attractive they think they are.

There aren't enough of them sadly!

Dated a man who was gorgeous and knew it. He cheated on me publicly and humiliated me and left me with an STD.
Whilst heartbroken over him o saw the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. I’m now married to him. He has no idea how beautiful he is despite being told (still) by people all the time. He used to get hit on by both men and women whilst we were out when we were younger. I’d always send him to the bar to get drinks!

I wouldn’t chase a hot man because I assume they are flooded with female attention and would always be looking for the next shiny new thing. However I have ended up with a very physically attractive DP (not just my perception, everyone has ‘noticed’) in quite a natural, slow burn sort of way after meeting out in the wild a few months ago (he’s not on OLD).

So maybe it’s just the hotties on OLD that should be avoided?

Well my model gorgeous ex boyfriend was one of the nicest people I’ve known. My own DH was a looker when young too and kind and generous to a fault. My own son has done some modelling. Of course I think he’s great! He is conscious of his looks but as a former chubby kid he has endured years of body shaming and works very hard to maintain his physique. He may be a bit vain but that hasn’t affected his open and kind nature.
I find many men pretty obnoxious no matter what they look like, and seem to think they could all pull beauty queens.