Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If my mum and I buy a house together, might we need to sell it if she needs care?

45 replies

daisydaughter · 05/01/2025 20:08

As per the title really.
My mum and I both live alone, I think it would be nice for us to buy a house together, as if we pool our resources we could get somewhere nicer than if we keep living separately, plus it will be nice to have each other as company. She is 80. I am imagining she would pay for half the house outright and I would get a mortgage for my half.
But if she needed care, could we be forced to sell our home to pay for it?

OP posts:
Holesintheground · 05/01/2025 20:14

They can't make you immediately sell but it could be the case that if she goes into a care home, they'll want to be paid back later so it might mean selling the house further down the line. Does she have a high amount in savings? What's her health like now? And what's your long term plan with the house: would you want to stay in it alone after her death?

Soontobe60 · 05/01/2025 20:16

Does she have savings too? Also, if she sold her current house, would she be putting all her equity into the new one?

Jc2001 · 05/01/2025 20:17

Can't she give you the money to buy it in your own name? You might be subject to inheritance tax at some point you have that anyway and they can't make you pay for your mother's care.

MumChp · 05/01/2025 20:17

Seek legal advice.

I would be very careful here.

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/01/2025 20:19

You need to take legal advice.

You wouldn’t need to sell if she had carers coming into the house. If she goes intoa care home, I think the house is disregarded if there is a relative over retirement age living in it - certainly true for spouses, think it’s true for children but not sure.

what you need legal advice for is were to buy the house together. Could you, for example do it with the form of tenancy where both own a defined share?

And you must make sure she doesn’t give you a large sum of money, eg by paying 90% of the house price. This may be regarded as a deliberate deprivation of assets and the financial assessment of what she has to contribute may be carried out as if she still had the money.

Ghostin · 05/01/2025 20:20

Her share of ownership will be factored in to the council’s assessment of her financial situation. They can’t force you to sell but they can treat her as having income to pay for her own care up to the value of her share of the home, which might require you to sell to free up that money to pay for her care.

You should seek legal advice on your options to ensure that if you do proceed, your share is protected.

chocolatespreadsandwich · 05/01/2025 20:21

Take legal advice, as others have said. Be wary of internet advice.on things like this. And remember the law could change.

Would having carers come in for her be an option instead of moving to a home?

chocolatespreadsandwich · 05/01/2025 20:22

I think they could put a charge over her share of the home,.for instance

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/01/2025 20:22

Jc2001 · 05/01/2025 20:17

Can't she give you the money to buy it in your own name? You might be subject to inheritance tax at some point you have that anyway and they can't make you pay for your mother's care.

No. If she does that at an age where it might be reasonably expected that she will need care, it will be treated as a deliberate deprivation of assets to avoid contributing to her care costs,and she will be assessed as if she still had the money.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 05/01/2025 20:25

It may also be more difficult than you think to get a mortgage for your half if your mother’s name is on the title

Acc0untant · 05/01/2025 20:29

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 05/01/2025 20:25

It may also be more difficult than you think to get a mortgage for your half if your mother’s name is on the title

Yes, this. Banks don't like to lend when someone else also has a claim over the home should you default on the mortgage. You'd need to see a broker but I imagine you'd both need to be on the mortgage (although her age may make that difficult).

Original poster
daisydaughter · 05/01/2025 20:33

Thanks for the advice. Seems like this could be complicated, would definitely seek legal advice before doing anything, this is just a casual conversation we had yesterday, and I’ve been thinking about since.
My mum is (touch wood) in good health at the moment, but she has arthritis and somewhere with fewer stairs and in a more convenient location would suit her much better, however the area she’s got her eye on is a bit pricey. We could definitely manage it if we went halves though.

OP posts:
Kitchenspade · 05/01/2025 20:34

No I wouldn't for all above advice. Do you own a home of your own now OP? Realistically how long do you think you would actually live together until she passes? Don't mean to sound morbid or anything. But will it make much difference in your own circumstances?

annabianca · 05/01/2025 20:36

Do you have siblings?

Original poster
daisydaughter · 05/01/2025 20:39

We none of us know what is around the corner, but I hope we may have 10 years of happy cohabitation.
It would work for mum because I’d be able to help out with the housework and cooking etc and care for her if she is ill (I live a distance away at the moment but would relocate if we did this).
It would work for me because I’d get to live in a nicer house in a better location than I can currently afford, and I could have a dog, which I can’t currently due to being out at work all day.
We’re both a bit lonely living solo so it seemed like a good idea. But I do appreciate nothing is as simple as it seems with these things!

OP posts:
kaos2 · 05/01/2025 20:48

Put her half in trust , but presumably if you are happy to keep her money you willl care for her ? If she has no cash assets left then her care will be funded by the LA if drop in .

JimHalpertsWife · 05/01/2025 20:50

Do you rent currently? Are you wanting to buy in order to be on the property ladder?

If so, why not live with her then get a smaller mortgage on a smaller / less appealing home which you either refurb slowly for future or rent out?

Haveanaiceday · 05/01/2025 20:58

I would do it and find a way to make this work legally for you. Honestly, it's not always that people have such a close relationship with their mum that they would like to do this or that their personal situation allows it but as yours does having that time together would be very special.

Rictasmorticia · 05/01/2025 21:10

You just need to buy as i joint tenants not tenants in common. Jointly own property especially when both parties live there can’t be forcibly sold. Buy using solicitors advice. You need a cleat paper trail.

Snapncrackle · 05/01/2025 21:16

I know when my mum/ dad passed away
my mums half was left to the grandkids with my father having the right to continue living in the house ( when he passed the whole estate / house went to the grandkids )

when my dad went into a nursing home they couldn’t touch my mums half of the house even though she had passed away a few years previously

and even when my mum went into a nursing home they couldn’t touch her half of the house because my dad was living there

How old are you OP as that can be a factor as to if they can touch your mums half

you could have it where you own 50 50 and leave each other the right to live in the house
Upon death
they can’t force you to sell - they may be able to put a charge on your mums half so that if you moved / died they could get it

BMW6 · 05/01/2025 21:21

Alternatively could Mum remain in the house till the end of her life? Do you work full-time? Could you get a daily carer if she was bed bound?

Original poster
daisydaughter · 05/01/2025 21:23

In answer to PPs:

I do already own a small home, but it’s too small for her to come and live with me.
I could live with her in her current home, but as I mentioned earlier it doesn’t really suit my mum any more, and it wouldn’t be ideal for my work either. If we both moved to the new location we could find somewhere that suits us both.

Yes, I’d be happy to care for her if and when she needs care, but I also work full time and there could come a time when she would need to go to into nursing care (e.g. if she got dementia, or had a stroke).

Mum doesn’t want me to have to go through the stress of selling up and moving out in the event of needing to fund nursing or specialist care for her, so I asked this question just to get a general idea of whether this situation might arise.

Edited to answer more questions:
I am 40, and I work full time.
Mum is in good health and is managing at home fine at the moment, this isn't about solving a problem about care, it’s just an idea we have been mulling over.

OP posts:
Rictasmorticia · 05/01/2025 21:40

Please reassure your mum that you definitely won’t have to sell up. It might be a good idea to take her to a solicitor with you for some legal advice before you purchase. Many will give such advice for a small fee. Also if you have not done so gets POA and Will's organised.

If you are using a solicitor to make your will he will advise. POA does not need a soliton. Very easy to do yourself.

underhedges · 05/01/2025 22:08

Look into a Tenants in Common mortgage. It protects money for each person in case of big costs such as care home fees.

maximist · 05/01/2025 22:13

I'd give Age UK a call, they should be able to advise.