To think - child!!

[cheekycee]

Sent a note to my DS dad on how to take care of his conjunctivitis as we do not speak he goes through my dad as he's abusive threatening and controlling. He sent the note back with a man sticking his finger up... what on earth is that about. He is 44. However could have been his other DS (not mine) - 20 or his DD (18) also not mine.m as they also live there.

It's patronising to tell a grown up to wash their hands before treating an eye infection, so maybe that irritated him.

It doesn't warrant a f### you back though. 🙄

Just eye roll and ignore.

I agree. I mean, if it’s a grown adult, he should know on how to take care of a child with conjunctivitis

You were patronising, he was rude.

Just forget it and move on.

Did I say it did? OP asked “what on earth this was about” and I was just pointing out that it’s kind of obvious that patronising an aggressive person you don’t get on with will probably get an aggressive response.

I'd ignore him, he seems really petty. Do not respond in any way, even if he brings it up - he wants a reaction.

So you thought that it was appropriate to send an adult who already has adult children a note telling him how to deal with a common ailment, including telling him to wash his hands!!! You were extremely condescending, you're lucky that's the worst you got back.

I agree. This is a man who poos and handles raw chicken and does not wash his hands. Still patronising or caring for my child?

I've just added a comment that says it isn't patronising when this man doesn't wash his hands after he poos or handles raw chicken, is it!
V

Sorry I didn't mean the "!" I clicked send before editing to "?"

Agreed

He probably felt patronised regardless. You clearly really dislike eachother and you sent a little note so he sent it back. Hopefully your child’s eyes are doing ok, move on.

If he's that bad with hygiene why do you think your note would make a difference?

Sometimes you're best just to leave it, this was one of those times.

That's a very good point in all honesty, why would I think it would make a difference. However when it comes to your child you do as much as you can. My priority was ensuring I did all I could do to make sure my child's eye infection was treated as best it could be, not an idiots feelings

If he can't be trusted and there was abuse involved then maybe use a parenting app for future communication rather than sending notes.

If the contact isn't court ordered and your ds gets anything similar in future then just delay contact until the infection clears, or send the guidelines through the parenting app so it doesn't come across as PA from your end.

Did he treat the eye?

Nope. Not patronising. Honestly I'd have to Google how to treat it as i've never had it.

He sounds like a dick.

Ignore and bin. If it's mentioned (as you don't speak though it obviously won't) pretend you've not even seen it. It was meant to elicit a response. Don't give it one.
I don't think it's patronising to hand over medical info via a note considering the parents don't speak. How else would they know what was going on? I know people who wouldn't have the foggiest about how to treat eye infections (and some who wouldn't be arsed unfortunately). It's not like the OP wrote 'make sure you clean his eye you thick cunt'.

I wish it was acceptable to write a note like that though as that's what was in my head!😂 thank you. I don't think it is patronising either

Be is an ex for a reason.

I sympathise with you because my ex is absolutely useless and pointless in every way and I dread any of the children needing any sort of medical attention whilst in his care. I would probably try to avoid hand written notes and use a parenting app, although if your ex is anything like mine then he will refuse to use it.

How old is your child? Are you able to coach them, for example the exact steps that need to happen to clean the conjunctivitis so that they can ask an adult to help them?

You did nothing wrong OP. He's clearly an immature ah

Can you use a parenting app instead of notes? He might be less likely to respond like this via an app.

I never send notes usually. I wouldn't send my child to his house if he needed care quite a lot this was a one off. In future I'll be keeping him til he's better as he clearly can't just let the person picking up know he did it and has to send silly things back.