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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share some weight loss tips?

123 replies

Jumell · 05/01/2025 11:43

Losing weight is very hard and I want to give support to ANYONE who’s embarking on it - whether it’s by calorie deficit/exercise alone or by getting medical help.

Last year I lost 3 and a half stone between January and May by keeping my calorie intake each day at 1200 or less, doing cardio/weights at least 3 times a week and drinking more water (up to max of 2 litres a day).

I was very determined to do it. These are some tips :

  1. its very important you keep your weighing day ‘sacred’ e.g it’s fine to overindulge as a treat on weight loss day and even eat 4000 Cals , for instance on that day - but you MUST make the calorie deficit up by the same day next week eg if Monday is weigh in day

2.its important to keep exercising if you don’t feel like it - youll feel better next day

  1. have non food related treats to hand eg magazines (not THOSE ones) 🤣, new 2025 calendars. TV programmes etc
  2. Diarise your weight weekly
  3. if you feel a bit down one day and are finding it hard going - have something nice - I did this last January - nice latte in a coffee shop and it actually helped me stick to it

sorry my paragraphing is all over the place but you get the gist !!

OP posts:
Shrinkingrose · 05/01/2025 14:03

Zebedee999 · 05/01/2025 13:38

OP simply spelt out what worked for her. Can't believe the pile on to her for starting a thread of ideas.

I think you misread. She said she wanted to share with others and here were her tips. She didn’t say this is what worked for me, but I understand it’s deeply unhealthy and unadvisable.

Bodybutterblusher · 05/01/2025 14:03

It's not necessary to exercise to lose weight. Many people who are overweight won't be able to burn off enough calories to make a significant difference. It's still a good thing to do.

Weight yourself once a month. Sometimes the scales will seem stuck but then will make up for it the next month. I don't know why. It's most encouraging to weigh in at the same time of the month after you've had your period, not before. And the same time of day.

Cutting out milk is very effective. But make sure you take in calcium in other ways. Cutting out bread is also effective in my experience. But you have to make sure you're getting some carbs (oats are good) and you absolutely must have protein bulked out with vegetables.

Eat regularly and earlier than usual. Try not to eat anything between 6 in the evening and breakfast.

Don't let yourself get extremely hungry. Have an oat biscuit, satsuma and mug of hot water. Make meals ahead and portion them carefully, when you're not hungry. Have raw carrots ready to eat and don't be afraid to eat them.

Keep busy. Boredom magnifies hunger.

Remind yourself this is not a punishment but a goal that you want for good reasons.

If tempted to overeat, remind yourself of how good it feels to be doing something about being overweight. That feeling will go if you eat whatever it is you're wanting to eat. It's not a nice experience.

Don't think that fruit is calorie free. It really isn't.

Some people find treats helpful. I found that they tasted so extra delicious during a restricted intake period that I just wanted them more. Avoiding glucose and chocolate completely does make your brain forget about them over time. You may even find you find sugar too sweet eventually. At this start of a diet, your palate is dulled and you're effectively addicted to the emotional and physical high that comes with giving your body a burst of calories. Eating regularly and having an alternative like oat biscuits to starve off a crash will, over time, make more sense.

The first few days are hard in a way but the hardest point is about four weeks in. Your body is struggling and it feels neverending. Be prepared.

Protein is your friend. Think chicken and fish and eggs, not cheese and yoghurt.

Potatoes and root vegetables are not your friends. Dried fruit is out. You can eat lots of vegetables to bulk out meals more easily if you steam them. Kale, spinach, baby sweetcorn, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, aubergine, courgettes, cucumber, tomato - there are lots of foods that you can eat and need to eat.

Be aware of how much oil you're using. If you're being really careful with carbs and cutting out milk and sugar, you can afford to have oil but be aware that it's high calorie.

Take a multivitamin.

Check the portion size of whatever you have for breakfast.

A treat day prolongs the agony and those foods will taste better than they ever before.

Be prepared to spend more time prepping food and making sure you have something with you if you are out.

Over time, your stomach will get smaller and you won't feel as hungry. For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea to eat huge amounts of low calorie foods because it will keep your stomach the same size.

Have a weight below which you won't fall and agree this with someone who can hold you accountable. You're aiming for healthy, not a size zero.

Bananas are quite high in calories. Many people on diets seem to eat them like they're free food but they're not.

Don't have artificial sweeteners. They're bad for you, bad for your palate and tell your brain to expect a sugar rush. It won't be happy when it realises it's been fooled.

This will pass. It's like pregnancy. It feels forever at the time but when you look back, it was relatively short.

If you have really bad news and everything hits the fan, put the diet to one side for that day. It's better to make a decision than to beat yourself up for failing.

Don't talk in front of your kids about diet, weight loss and your body. Maintain the line that every body is beautiful and you are eating very healthy food because they're full of things your body needs to be healthy. Your diet doesn't need to become your child's eating disorder.

Drink a full glass of water when you get up. It helps.

Shrinkingrose · 05/01/2025 14:03

Jumell · 05/01/2025 13:22

No way. I’ve NEVER been down the artificial route and NEVER will

But I’d never judge those who do, this battle it HARD.

What do you mean artificial? What is artificial about it?

Zebedee999 · 05/01/2025 14:07

Bodybutterblusher · 05/01/2025 14:03

It's not necessary to exercise to lose weight. Many people who are overweight won't be able to burn off enough calories to make a significant difference. It's still a good thing to do.

Weight yourself once a month. Sometimes the scales will seem stuck but then will make up for it the next month. I don't know why. It's most encouraging to weigh in at the same time of the month after you've had your period, not before. And the same time of day.

Cutting out milk is very effective. But make sure you take in calcium in other ways. Cutting out bread is also effective in my experience. But you have to make sure you're getting some carbs (oats are good) and you absolutely must have protein bulked out with vegetables.

Eat regularly and earlier than usual. Try not to eat anything between 6 in the evening and breakfast.

Don't let yourself get extremely hungry. Have an oat biscuit, satsuma and mug of hot water. Make meals ahead and portion them carefully, when you're not hungry. Have raw carrots ready to eat and don't be afraid to eat them.

Keep busy. Boredom magnifies hunger.

Remind yourself this is not a punishment but a goal that you want for good reasons.

If tempted to overeat, remind yourself of how good it feels to be doing something about being overweight. That feeling will go if you eat whatever it is you're wanting to eat. It's not a nice experience.

Don't think that fruit is calorie free. It really isn't.

Some people find treats helpful. I found that they tasted so extra delicious during a restricted intake period that I just wanted them more. Avoiding glucose and chocolate completely does make your brain forget about them over time. You may even find you find sugar too sweet eventually. At this start of a diet, your palate is dulled and you're effectively addicted to the emotional and physical high that comes with giving your body a burst of calories. Eating regularly and having an alternative like oat biscuits to starve off a crash will, over time, make more sense.

The first few days are hard in a way but the hardest point is about four weeks in. Your body is struggling and it feels neverending. Be prepared.

Protein is your friend. Think chicken and fish and eggs, not cheese and yoghurt.

Potatoes and root vegetables are not your friends. Dried fruit is out. You can eat lots of vegetables to bulk out meals more easily if you steam them. Kale, spinach, baby sweetcorn, carrots, peppers, mushrooms, aubergine, courgettes, cucumber, tomato - there are lots of foods that you can eat and need to eat.

Be aware of how much oil you're using. If you're being really careful with carbs and cutting out milk and sugar, you can afford to have oil but be aware that it's high calorie.

Take a multivitamin.

Check the portion size of whatever you have for breakfast.

A treat day prolongs the agony and those foods will taste better than they ever before.

Be prepared to spend more time prepping food and making sure you have something with you if you are out.

Over time, your stomach will get smaller and you won't feel as hungry. For this reason, I don't think it's a good idea to eat huge amounts of low calorie foods because it will keep your stomach the same size.

Have a weight below which you won't fall and agree this with someone who can hold you accountable. You're aiming for healthy, not a size zero.

Bananas are quite high in calories. Many people on diets seem to eat them like they're free food but they're not.

Don't have artificial sweeteners. They're bad for you, bad for your palate and tell your brain to expect a sugar rush. It won't be happy when it realises it's been fooled.

This will pass. It's like pregnancy. It feels forever at the time but when you look back, it was relatively short.

If you have really bad news and everything hits the fan, put the diet to one side for that day. It's better to make a decision than to beat yourself up for failing.

Don't talk in front of your kids about diet, weight loss and your body. Maintain the line that every body is beautiful and you are eating very healthy food because they're full of things your body needs to be healthy. Your diet doesn't need to become your child's eating disorder.

Drink a full glass of water when you get up. It helps.

Why is yoghurt not good as a source of protein? I use fat free Greek style yoghurt. It seems low in calories and high in protein. Thanks.

Bodybutterblusher · 05/01/2025 14:10

Laiste · 05/01/2025 13:31

Well i'm losing weight by skipping breakfast, having a cup of boiling hot bovril for lunch, a handful of peanuts at about half past 2 and a small version of what everyone else is having for tea! And avoiding bread. And not nibbling in the evening.

God knows how many calories it is and god knows why it's working (ie: i'm not hungry) but working it is, so i'll carry on! I dare not get on the scales because i've had an eating disorder in the past triggered by daily weighing. I just know my clothes all feel too big lately and i've had some nice compliments 🙂

There are a lot of naysayers here. If it's working long term for you OP then well done and back on the wagon for January. We all need to worry about what works for us not poo poing what everyone else is doing.

It's working because you're not eating nearly enough. I'd be really concerned given your history.

Bodybutterblusher · 05/01/2025 14:12

Zebedee999 · 05/01/2025 14:07

Why is yoghurt not good as a source of protein? I use fat free Greek style yoghurt. It seems low in calories and high in protein. Thanks.

It's fine. I just find that avoiding dairy completely is effective but absolutely no reason why anyone else should do it my way.

TragicMuse · 05/01/2025 14:12

Hurray for you. Yawn.

TinkerTinbell · 05/01/2025 14:16

My "tip" is to find what works for you and stick to it. It may take some trial and error first, then you'll become an 'expert' at your own body system alone.

CoastalCalm · 05/01/2025 14:18

I lost over 10 stone years ago , I went to a WW meeting but only once every couple of weeks on a Saturday. On a Saturday I gave myself permission to eat and drink anything I wanted - ultimately I realised cheat days were just cheating myself so tended not to go crazy but it was good if I wanted to socialise over a meal and a few drinks

BusySittingDown · 05/01/2025 14:22

Jumell · 05/01/2025 12:48

I put quite a lot on in December!!

You will do because you're messing up your metabolism up by sticking to 1200 cals.

If you ate an amount that was sustainable throughout the year you would gain hardly any weight during periods where you indulge more. You also wouldn't overeat/overindulge because you wouldn't be so starving that you want to.

Barney16 · 05/01/2025 14:23

I do noom. And that recommends 1340 calories a day for me and I'm very small. If I ate less than that I would be exhausted and headachey. For me the menopause and post menopause has had a significant impact on my body shape and weight. Previously always slim, now have a stone that has been tricky to shift permanently. I loathe exercise. I hate being sweaty and am a very fair weather walker although I like it once I get going. My best tip? Going to bed at a reasonable time so I don't end up eating chocolate or biscuits to keep me awake. Second best tip, putting the radio on in the kitchen and dancing like it's 1984

Beattie2 · 05/01/2025 14:24

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/01/2025 12:00

For me, fewer calories and sack off the exercise. Exercise is the bit that I hate and causes me to fall off the wagon. I'll happily refuse that second kit kat if it spares me an hour of fucking running.

Me too. I like a walk and do 7-10k steps usually but anything more than that? No way. I detest the gym.

bigkahunaburger · 05/01/2025 14:37

Exercise is just the worst. I drag myself out for my 10k walk and will only allow myself to listen to the audiobooks and podcasts during the walk. Because I want to find out what happens it forces me out. Its so good for my mental health though (Ive had some struggles recently), but I hate hate hate going but Im always super happy afterwards.

Jumell · 05/01/2025 14:49

BusySittingDown · 05/01/2025 14:02

I've skim read a few posts.

Yes, the OP is saying what worked for her.

Of course being on 1200 calories a day will work!!! Because it's sod all that's why!

It's also unsustainable, will fuck up your metabolism and you'll lose muscle by not eating.

Doing weight training and eating in a slight deficit (only need to be 200-300 calories in a deficit so around 1600-1800 would do for most) and eat whole foods would be better!

Weight training is absolutely fabulous advice 💪

OP posts:
5128gap · 05/01/2025 14:55

My tip - looking after your body by providing it with the best nutrition you can and exercising it in fresh air and nature is not a sacrifice, its a treat to yourself. Its the ultimate in self care. So whether you eat junk or not, eat the good stuff first every day and walk fast for 30 minutes every day. Its not an overnight fix, its a long game, and you'll feel so good.

DowntonNabby · 05/01/2025 14:57

bigkahunaburger · 05/01/2025 14:00

Clean eating from scratch mostly. And not having anything that isnt in the house. I can do that though cos I live alone. I also only eat 12-6, dont drink anymore, and walk 10k a day. I also do about 70/30 veg/meat.

Im in menopause and have heard weight loss has to be approached completely differently in this period. If it stopped working weight loss wise I would probably just accept that I was a bigger size now. Cos at least now Im healthy (bloods are good now).

Thanks for this, definitely food for thought! I actually eat fairly healthily, I just snack waaaaayyyy too much. Crisps are my downfall/trigger/nemesis/favourite food in the world. I can't not have them in house though, as I have teen girl and I'm mindful of banning any food around her. She has a great intuitive relationship with eating – eats only when she's hungry and stops when she's full – and I'd hate to do anything that derails that.

I'm in menopause too. I also tried IF window but it just triggered binges and with a history of bulimia, I can't risk going down that path again. But the clean eating sounds like it's worth exploring.

BusySittingDown · 05/01/2025 14:58

Jumell · 05/01/2025 14:49

Weight training is absolutely fabulous advice 💪

Yes, because having muscle and building muscle boosts metabolism. You won't build muscle on 1200 cals though as you can't lift heavy enough and your body will just burn muscle anyway as it doesn't have enough calories.

Having muscle will get you through old age.

ruffler45 · 05/01/2025 15:09

There is only one rule for weight loss, eat less calories than you burn off..
There are hundreds of ways to do it..

Fact - you lose weight by breathing out carbon dioxide as a bi product of the burning of body fat

Baileysatchristmas · 05/01/2025 15:10

Jumell · 05/01/2025 14:49

Weight training is absolutely fabulous advice 💪

Not for everyone it's not.

ImmortalSnowman · 05/01/2025 15:27

Jumell · 05/01/2025 13:22

No way. I’ve NEVER been down the artificial route and NEVER will

But I’d never judge those who do, this battle it HARD.

Encouraging others to develop an eating disorder is much more honourable.

1200kcals is not sustainable and completely not recommended for longer than a few weeks especially if exercising too. For an average height (163cm) mid 30s white woman at 65kg, (healthy bmi) 1,333kcals loses 0.5kg/w anyone taller or heavier would need more calories to lose sustainable weight.

Your post is dangerous.

bigkahunaburger · 05/01/2025 15:29

DowntonNabby · 05/01/2025 14:57

Thanks for this, definitely food for thought! I actually eat fairly healthily, I just snack waaaaayyyy too much. Crisps are my downfall/trigger/nemesis/favourite food in the world. I can't not have them in house though, as I have teen girl and I'm mindful of banning any food around her. She has a great intuitive relationship with eating – eats only when she's hungry and stops when she's full – and I'd hate to do anything that derails that.

I'm in menopause too. I also tried IF window but it just triggered binges and with a history of bulimia, I can't risk going down that path again. But the clean eating sounds like it's worth exploring.

I feel for you thats really hard. I was drinking the best part of a bottle of wine per night, and living off crisps, pork pies and sausage rolls and store bought sandwiches, and maccas!! So I appreciate some people will look at my current diet and be like 'but you are eating pies, carbs, and creme fraiche, and pastry, and cheese!!' but from where I was this is a huge sustainable improvement for me.

Interestingly the thinnest Ive been in recent years, was when I had dental surgery, had a painful temp denture for 6 mths and couldnt eat properly. I was too embarrassed to eat at work in front of people, so would not eat all day, and end up driving home, pulling in at one stop and then whaffing down a meal deal in the car park. I was so nackered due to lack of eating, and work stuff, i would then fall into bed at 6pm. I became skeletal v. v. unhealthy (not a diet i would recommend!). I loved fabulous but felt like absolute shit.

bigkahunaburger · 05/01/2025 15:36

ImmortalSnowman · 05/01/2025 15:27

Encouraging others to develop an eating disorder is much more honourable.

1200kcals is not sustainable and completely not recommended for longer than a few weeks especially if exercising too. For an average height (163cm) mid 30s white woman at 65kg, (healthy bmi) 1,333kcals loses 0.5kg/w anyone taller or heavier would need more calories to lose sustainable weight.

Your post is dangerous.

Oh come on thats a bit harsh. Even nutritionists cant agree on what is healty. Low carb, carnivore, clean, meditteranean, gluten free, low fat, low cal, high cal/low fat, high protein, 5:2, 12:8, OMAD, ...blah blah blah. I mean I remember several years ago if you suggested intermittent fasting people would have said how dangerous it was. 3 meals a day - breakfast is the most important meal yada yada. I have never eaten breakfast because Im not hungry and I have been nagged all my life about it not being healthy. Now its trendy.

These are just ideas/tips. Ive suggested not calorie counting or weighing. I could be accused of encouraging obesity/diabetes. Ive also encouraged 12-6 window eating, and small portions - I could be accused of encouraging binging.

Its just tips. OP gave hers. Its not an order. Yikes.

Makemineasoda · 05/01/2025 15:37

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/01/2025 12:00

For me, fewer calories and sack off the exercise. Exercise is the bit that I hate and causes me to fall off the wagon. I'll happily refuse that second kit kat if it spares me an hour of fucking running.

You’ll be glad to hear this then - on Michael Mosley’s “just one thing” podcast he had an obesity expert on.

His advice was that exercise is not helpful in losing weight (lots of reasons but mainly people don’t get in the fat burning zone for long enough, reward themselves with treats, can cause release of cortisol which encourages fat storage) but that it’s helpful in maintaining your desired weight once you’ve reached it through whatever lifestyle /dietary changes work for you. For example, half an hour of moderate cycling only burns off an apple!

He also said it was all about sustainable lifestyle changes and if you don’t enjoy exercise, you will never sustain it.

roseymoira · 05/01/2025 15:40

Yes but what is your AIBU dilemma?

NerrSnerr · 05/01/2025 15:44

I think the OP posted with good intentions. It is really hard to lose weight and this time of year many of us are trying to do it. What frustrates me as how so many people talk with so much authority about how to lose weight right (not the OP, she was clearly sharing how she did it). The issue is that the professionals can't even agree on the best way to do it.

I'm yet again on another diet and have done many in the past and find that boring old tracking colonies to eat less and do a shit load of exercise works best for me (but clearly not well enough as I am about 2 stone overweight). I'm hoping this is the year though. My husband and I have realised it's more urgent now we're in our 40s and have been making lifestyle changes so fingers crossed we can crack it.