To get the rage at people - baby not sleeping

[BabyShock879]

I have a 4 month old who has never been a great sleeper and is just getting worse actually. God I get so much judgment.

Friends are getting annoyed at me not coming out for coffees or dinners more often. I can manage 1 or 2 socials a week but not more. I'm bone crushingly tired and breastfeeding, I don't want to do my makeup, drink alcohol and stay out late. It's been 4 months, I'm not exactly missing out. I'm mid 30s but none of my friends have babies yet, they have no clue.

Family keeps asking every day how did baby sleep last night. I keep getting told stories about x and y whose baby slept 12 hours from 12 weeks. They have so much garbage advice. I'm at fault apparently because I am with him too much. Where the fuck am I going to go???

My mum thinks I'm too affectionate with the baby. Apparently I kiss him and hug him too much. OK.

None of these wonderful relatives have held him for more than 2 minutes or babysat even once. The last time any of them spent more than an hour with a baby was 35 years ago but that somehow makes them experts.

I can deal with the sleep deprivation. But why does everyone insist on making me feel shit about it????

And don't get me started on breastfeeding - my dad recently said "you'd better not be breastfeeding after 6 months, he doesn't need it anymore then".

My Mum was fine but oh my god the number of people at work whose babies (20 years ago) apparently slept 12 hours from 2 weeks! Drove me mad. And no I'm not giving my baby water for night feeds! Or friends who didn't have babies weighing in because their mother/ sister had said x y or z. Also people who had good sleeper babies who were just in a 'great routine'.

You need to either lie to family or just tell them you don't need advice.

The thing is people just forget in the mists of time..Today DH said that DS wasn't really a bad sleeper as a baby and I just internally laughed as we are having a second soon so he's clearly blocked it out on purpose.

It's hard with friends. I think those friendships will be important down the line so do keep them going even if you need to politely tell them you can't do things. None of my close friends have children and I do wonder what they will be like when they do and realise! However once you are out of this phase you might want to do those things again!