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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should be back ‘normal’ by now?

48 replies

Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 06:54

Fairly lighthearted before anyone comes for me! But also, any advice?! I know I just need to eat less, really!

First DC has just turned one, so I am officially 1 year post partum, and I am still a good stone and a half heavier than I was pre pregnancy.

I was always very slim, below 9 stone my whole life pretty much. Pregnancy I didn’t really put on that much weight, I was ‘all bump’, as people say. The past year of exclusively breastfeeding and being on maternity leave has clearly just played havoc with my weight and I really want to kick my arse into gear and feel better about myself. I’m back at work next month and so I really want to start feeling more ‘me’ by then.

I feel I was told lies about bf making the weight ‘drop off’ as if anything I’ve clung on to weight because of it, I’m sure!

Anyway, has anyone else been in my position at this stage? I’m still bf my DC (but only really morning and evening/night now). Really going to make an effort to cut out snacks, make more sensible choices etc. I don’t really eat that much but hoovering up DC leftovers probably adds calories I don’t need.

I just had this idea that by a year I’d be pretty much back to my normal weight!? I’d love to hear from people who’ve been like me and lost a lot of weight as they reduced bf and went back to work…!

OP posts:
Noodlesnotstrudels · 05/01/2025 07:02

I don't think I've ever been under 9 stone but with DD1, I struggled to lose any weight until I'd finished bf and was back at work. DD1 sleeping through the night also made a big different. I think being home all day just zapped any willpower but once I was back into a routine of nursery, work etc really helped and I lost 2 stone over a period of 3 months.

Currently 9months pp with DD2 and finding the same again (christmas hasn't helped) so hoping I can crack it once I get back to work in Feb.

Before going back after DD1, I invested in 3 new work outfits, plus some new make up and haircut so that even though I was heavier than I wanted to be, I at least felt put together and wearing well fitting clothes.

Edit to add - the weight loss was as a result of IF plus low carb diet which was what I did a bit pre DC, but I took it seriously and followed it carefully once I was back to work.

Ghostin · 05/01/2025 07:07

I’m sure some women do drop the weight easily while breastfeeding but for me it was the total opposite. It was like my body clung to every pound (and added some more…!) while I was breastfeeding. It can be bloody hard, breastfeeding can hugely increase your appetite and affect your metabolism, in many ways it’s wildly incompatible with weight loss.

I lost the weight through diet and exercise once I was no longer breastfeeding, but during breastfeeding it was just an impossibility.

MinnieBalloon · 05/01/2025 07:11

I feel I was told lies about bf making the weight ‘drop off’

That wasn’t a lie. I’m at the other end of the spectrum - I lost too much weight while breastfeeding.

Roadrunnerz · 05/01/2025 07:12

I didn’t put on any weight during pregnancy. I put on loads of weight during breastfeeding and I also acquired some very bad food habits

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:14

Ghostin · 05/01/2025 07:07

I’m sure some women do drop the weight easily while breastfeeding but for me it was the total opposite. It was like my body clung to every pound (and added some more…!) while I was breastfeeding. It can be bloody hard, breastfeeding can hugely increase your appetite and affect your metabolism, in many ways it’s wildly incompatible with weight loss.

I lost the weight through diet and exercise once I was no longer breastfeeding, but during breastfeeding it was just an impossibility.

This is how I feel! Did you have to completely stop before it dropped off? DC has drastically reduced feeds over the last few weeks so I am hoping that’ll start to help.

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 05/01/2025 07:15

I also seem to keep weight while breastfeeding and then lose it after I stop

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:15

Noodlesnotstrudels · 05/01/2025 07:02

I don't think I've ever been under 9 stone but with DD1, I struggled to lose any weight until I'd finished bf and was back at work. DD1 sleeping through the night also made a big different. I think being home all day just zapped any willpower but once I was back into a routine of nursery, work etc really helped and I lost 2 stone over a period of 3 months.

Currently 9months pp with DD2 and finding the same again (christmas hasn't helped) so hoping I can crack it once I get back to work in Feb.

Before going back after DD1, I invested in 3 new work outfits, plus some new make up and haircut so that even though I was heavier than I wanted to be, I at least felt put together and wearing well fitting clothes.

Edit to add - the weight loss was as a result of IF plus low carb diet which was what I did a bit pre DC, but I took it seriously and followed it carefully once I was back to work.

Edited

Thank you and this is really helpful to read - I do think being at work will help as I know I’ll have less time to eat and my commute includes a fair bit of walking etc just generally being out of the house more and rushing around! Love the idea of new outfits and makeup etc to make me feel more put together.

OP posts:
Bambooshoot · 05/01/2025 07:15

I couldn’t lose much weight during breastfeeding, not even when it was just the night feeds, but when I stopped it dropped off very quickly without any effort, to the point I actually got to be too thin (for the one and only time in my life!)

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:17

Bambooshoot · 05/01/2025 07:15

I couldn’t lose much weight during breastfeeding, not even when it was just the night feeds, but when I stopped it dropped off very quickly without any effort, to the point I actually got to be too thin (for the one and only time in my life!)

At what point did you stop? I don’t think DC is ready to totally wean yet (and I am still happy to do night feeds if needed when back at work)

OP posts:
overwork · 05/01/2025 07:17

Oh I needed to read this today. I'm still breastfeeding my 16 month old regularly and he's never slept through the night. I'm ravenous and rely on sugar to keep me going in the afternoons. And very conscious of the fact that every part of me jiggles these days!

Mountainormolehills · 05/01/2025 07:18

I dropped a snack when I dropped a feed/pump time, but there was a stubborn layer of fat which didn’t leave me until about 3 months after stopping. I’m very short and around 8 stone and I think it’s the body’s way of ensuring there’s enough fat in your milk (I have no scientific evidence for this, it’s just my hypothesis)

mummabubs · 05/01/2025 07:19

Hi OP, I was always between 9st - 9st 4lbs before pregnancy, but when I went back from maternity leave a year post partum I was over 10 and a half st. Like you, breastfeeding didn't mean I lost weight, if anything because I felt so hungry all the time whilst doing it I think I probably ate more. Then in the year after that I was so sleep-deprived that sugary snacks became my friend because I relied on the boost to get me through the day 😅

For me although I did lose a couple of lbs after going back to work initially the only way I lost the weight was doing a formal weight loss approach (Noom is who I went with). I'd never 'dieted' before in my life so felt weird but it did get me back to 9st 5lbs whilst still allowing me to enjoy food/ not giving anything up completely.

What I will add as caution is that even after losing the weight (and being much happier with how I looked and felt) my body is still different following pregnancy and childbirth, so I'd say I feel like "new me" rather than the body I knew before.

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:21

overwork · 05/01/2025 07:17

Oh I needed to read this today. I'm still breastfeeding my 16 month old regularly and he's never slept through the night. I'm ravenous and rely on sugar to keep me going in the afternoons. And very conscious of the fact that every part of me jiggles these days!

I hear you!

OP posts:
Sausagedog101 · 05/01/2025 07:21

Ghostin · 05/01/2025 07:07

I’m sure some women do drop the weight easily while breastfeeding but for me it was the total opposite. It was like my body clung to every pound (and added some more…!) while I was breastfeeding. It can be bloody hard, breastfeeding can hugely increase your appetite and affect your metabolism, in many ways it’s wildly incompatible with weight loss.

I lost the weight through diet and exercise once I was no longer breastfeeding, but during breastfeeding it was just an impossibility.

Same here!

I did not lose weight breastfeeding but once I stopped the weight slowly came off.

I think this is more common than people realise!

Gremlins101 · 05/01/2025 07:27

Mountainormolehills · 05/01/2025 07:18

I dropped a snack when I dropped a feed/pump time, but there was a stubborn layer of fat which didn’t leave me until about 3 months after stopping. I’m very short and around 8 stone and I think it’s the body’s way of ensuring there’s enough fat in your milk (I have no scientific evidence for this, it’s just my hypothesis)

I came to the same conclusion about the weight I put on in my first pregnancy. I was very muscley (to the point people would remark on it). I put on so much weight in the first trimester of both pregnancies. The midwives were worried about me. Then I didn't put on much more weight after that. I think my body needed to bulk up for the upcoming pregnancy and breastfeeding.

In conclusion, everyone is different I guess!

freidafreida · 05/01/2025 07:29

Held on to huge amounts of weight due to breastfeeding/ may leave going out of coffee and cake with other mums and definitely eating dds left over food. I breastfed until she was almost 3 but lost all of my baby weight between her being 1 year and 18 months. Still breastfed but accepted that my milk supply might be lower due to dieting (but also reasoned she didn't "need" it like a newborn). I'm not sure it actually was lower but I was happy to accept that as a consequence at that point and replace with cows milk, as was age appropriate anyway. I initially just ate really "clean" lots of salads and fruit and veg and the weight absolutely dropped off without me even trying too hard. Hit a plateau where I still had half a stone to lose so I went for intermittent fasting and that got rid of the last little bit (and some extra,which was a nice surprise!). I had some loose skin around my stomach for a while due to the rapid weightloss but that quickly tightened up.

You don't have to give up bfing to lose weight! I stopped at nearly 3. DH self weaned but I was immediately pregnant again so the weight has all piled back on. I'm not expecting any weightloss of myself until she's a year and I hope this time I can also continue bfing.

Good luck with the return to work!

freidafreida · 05/01/2025 07:31

*dd self weaned, not DH. He's not giving up boobs any time soon.

Toystory123 · 05/01/2025 07:32

I ate quite well (although more sugar and snacking than needed) and exercised regularly but it wasn’t until I completely stopped breastfeeding and had more consistent sleep that my body felt more of my own. Think a lot can be said for hormones and sleep deprivation - stopping breastfeeding/more consistent sleep didn’t happen until 18 months for me. Like PP said I found that pregnancy/childbirth has changed my body being on the shorter side but my body has pretty much gone back to how it was and I’m sure it’s only me who knows/notices the difference. I found that instead of doing more drastic measures for weight loss, just being consistent has been the best way. So going gym 3x a week, they’re not always good/long sessions but just keeping that commitment helps.

buttonousmaximous · 05/01/2025 07:38

I gained about 1 stone with each pregnancy and ended up with 1/2 stone left after each child that never seemed to shifts.

Ghostin · 05/01/2025 07:42

Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:14

This is how I feel! Did you have to completely stop before it dropped off? DC has drastically reduced feeds over the last few weeks so I am hoping that’ll start to help.

Show quote history

I stopped breastfeeding at about 16 months but for the last four or five months it had tapered off a lot and I was only doing one or two feeds per day. I would say I certainly wasn’t gaining weight over the final 6 months or so, but the actual weight loss didn’t start until after I had totally stopped. I think part of it was being in the right headspace as well - once I was no longer feeding I had more time and energy to focus on myself, and things like exercise and making healthy meals.

thegrumpusch · 05/01/2025 07:44

Same as pp, my body held onto weight and it was only once I stopped bf that I was able to drop some

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 07:52

freidafreida · 05/01/2025 07:29

Held on to huge amounts of weight due to breastfeeding/ may leave going out of coffee and cake with other mums and definitely eating dds left over food. I breastfed until she was almost 3 but lost all of my baby weight between her being 1 year and 18 months. Still breastfed but accepted that my milk supply might be lower due to dieting (but also reasoned she didn't "need" it like a newborn). I'm not sure it actually was lower but I was happy to accept that as a consequence at that point and replace with cows milk, as was age appropriate anyway. I initially just ate really "clean" lots of salads and fruit and veg and the weight absolutely dropped off without me even trying too hard. Hit a plateau where I still had half a stone to lose so I went for intermittent fasting and that got rid of the last little bit (and some extra,which was a nice surprise!). I had some loose skin around my stomach for a while due to the rapid weightloss but that quickly tightened up.

You don't have to give up bfing to lose weight! I stopped at nearly 3. DH self weaned but I was immediately pregnant again so the weight has all piled back on. I'm not expecting any weightloss of myself until she's a year and I hope this time I can also continue bfing.

Good luck with the return to work!

Thank you and this sounds a lot like me - I don’t intend to give up bf just for my weight! Hoping the next 6 months will see some changes anyway. I think I need to eat cleaner and stop the bad habits - too many coffees and cakes!

OP posts:
Ottersmith · 05/01/2025 08:04

How old are you? It took me a while to lose the excess weight and I am late 30s so maybe age has something to do with it. The other Mums in my group seemed to be back to normal by 12 weeks!

It seemed to put on all my weight post partum as I was a slim pregnant person like you. I still breastfeed, he's 2 and my weight has gone down now
I think my body just took longer to do it's thing. Probably about 18m pp is when I noticed my body was going back down. I don't think it was the bf as he still feeds like a newborn!

Original poster
Newyearsreso · 05/01/2025 08:10

Ottersmith · 05/01/2025 08:04

How old are you? It took me a while to lose the excess weight and I am late 30s so maybe age has something to do with it. The other Mums in my group seemed to be back to normal by 12 weeks!

It seemed to put on all my weight post partum as I was a slim pregnant person like you. I still breastfeed, he's 2 and my weight has gone down now
I think my body just took longer to do it's thing. Probably about 18m pp is when I noticed my body was going back down. I don't think it was the bf as he still feeds like a newborn!

I’m 36 so maybe that’s it too!

OP posts:
newbie202020 · 05/01/2025 08:19

How active have you been while on mat leave (no judgement on that btw). I lived in a city with loads of parks and activities so was walking 20k steps a day sometimes plus doing lots of free mum and baby activity classes which really helped with the weight loss but agree, when I stopped BF completely all of the excess weight fell away as because I think I also stopped craving sweet things