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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want lazy mornings during the holidays

78 replies

newyear25 · 05/01/2025 00:12

My DH has just had a go at me about the school holidays. Our DC is 16 and has been staying up later than usual and getting up around midday.
I see absolutely no problem with this and am enjoying the lie ins myself.
But he thinks it's unhealthy and I should get up with him when he starts work (at home).
I just think he's being miserable or AMBU.
I said I think most families are probably the same but he disagrees

OP posts:
Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/01/2025 04:35

Sounds like you’re having a much needed break and some time to recalibrate which is completely HEALTHY - so good for your mental health. When I was back at work and my 3 ( 2 kids and husband) were sleeping in I felt happy for them as they all work their arses off day to day! He should be encouraging it. Jealousy!

ueberlin2030 · 05/01/2025 04:36

Tophelleborine · 05/01/2025 03:51

Obviously you should be able to decide for yourself, but I'm with your husband here. It is unhealthy to regularly stay in bed most of the day and be up into the small hours, especially in winter when there's so little daylight. I couldn't live with people who stayed in bed until lunchtime often (not at the teen stage yet so will have to deal with that when it comes).

My teen sleeps later than me, but he's always up by about 0930 in the holidays. They don't all sleep all day. There's some hope. 😆

XmasSocks · 05/01/2025 04:37

So many if us still up in the wee hours.

Its 4.40am here and iv sent my alarm for 1pm 😂

ueberlin2030 · 05/01/2025 04:39

XmasSocks · 05/01/2025 04:37

So many if us still up in the wee hours.

Its 4.40am here and iv sent my alarm for 1pm 😂

I'm up now for the next day and you're still up from the previous....good nighting/morning! 🤣

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/01/2025 04:46

I get up and walk the dogs at 5:30 every week day. Saturday mornings I get a cuppa and go back to bed, not to sleep but to drink tea and read. I would say it’s one of the best moments of my entire week. Sometimes I squeal with joy as I jump back in. ENJOY your rest.

MermaidMummy06 · 05/01/2025 04:49

I'm an early riser. On hols I've been getting up to go for a walk early & enjoying the quiet while everyone else sleeps in!

I think my DC needed it, though. We're so busy during the year that there's rarely a day for the DC to sleep in or relax around home.

Admittedly I did get annoyed at DH because he was sleeping in until 11am every day (up until 3am). We had heaps to do, and l no time to take DC anywhere because he doesn't start his day until midday.

WWY · 05/01/2025 05:01

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing
The teas made is brilliant. Good for your mum!

OP: I adore a lie in. I'm a definite night owl as you can see by the time I'm posting! I would rage if anyone told me what time to get up unnecessarily.
When I'm working early I get up at 5:30am without issue (as much as I hate it) so I'm taking all the lie ins I can get!
What on earth does he want you to do when he's working? Do chores or something? He sounds quite mean.

Jk987 · 05/01/2025 05:02

Don't you work too?

ueberlin2030 · 05/01/2025 05:12

Jk987 · 05/01/2025 05:02

Don't you work too?

Some folk get most of the festive break off.

Lobstercrisps · 05/01/2025 06:41

I still set my alarm in the holidays and weekends, but I wouldn't make anyone else get up with me!

Dd sleeps till 1 or 2 and DH stayed in bed till 1pm on a couple of occasions.

I like the time in the house on my own before they all wake up. So I quite like it when they all sleep in!

Gremlins101 · 05/01/2025 07:19

Lol. I get up at 6am with the (young) kids. My husband lies in til 9 or 10 on the holidays. I don't mind early mornings and he needs lie ins to recharge. We are all built differently. I mean I only occasionally call him a lazy bastard and haul the covers off.

I think your husband is being a meanie tbh.

Daysgo · 05/01/2025 07:24

Tophelleborine · 05/01/2025 03:51

Obviously you should be able to decide for yourself, but I'm with your husband here. It is unhealthy to regularly stay in bed most of the day and be up into the small hours, especially in winter when there's so little daylight. I couldn't live with people who stayed in bed until lunchtime often (not at the teen stage yet so will have to deal with that when it comes).

Agree pretty much with this, partly cos i always hated getting up late on holidays and feeling you'd lost half the day😆. But we're all different!!!

SnoopysHoose · 05/01/2025 07:31

What time is he up and what does he suggest you do first thing?
He's being ridiculous and how anyone else sleeps is none of his business.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 05/01/2025 07:36

YANBU. It’s not your fault he has to work, he’s clearly jealous (as I would be) but making you get up for the sake of it is just ridiculous.

Original poster
newyear25 · 05/01/2025 08:19

Thanks all. I also work from home but only do a few hours each day during the school holidays.
For all of my DCs childhood, I got up early with them and took them on day trips in the holidays- cinema, museums, parks, etc. it's only in the past few years that they are older now and don't want to do these things.
DH would only take time off if I booked a holiday away.
So even though I still take the school holidays off work, it's for a more chilled time now and taxiing them to see friends, etc!

OP posts:
Strugglebus86 · 05/01/2025 08:24

As a night owl with very young kids I'm living for this day 😂

oneandonlygreg · 05/01/2025 08:31

Strugglebus86 · 05/01/2025 08:24

As a night owl with very young kids I'm living for this day 😂

Haha me too. I'm reading these replies with such envy. To be able to sleep in past 7 sounds mythical to me at the moment!

BeyondMyWits · 05/01/2025 08:39

Do you have pets? Just asking because it grates a bit when you are the default pet carer through dint of naturally waking up earlier.
On weekends and holidays DH likes to lie in til 10. Means I feed, water, put out, clear up after and walk the dog... someone has to, and it would be selfish/mean to wake him up when I'm up anyhow.

Fundays12 · 05/01/2025 08:41

Tell him where to go. If your resting in your holidays it's because you need it. Believe me I would love you be able to do that but DC2 does not sleep past 7 am no matter what. DC1 (pre teen) is still on bed most days till 11 am. I just leave him to it.

AyrnotAir · 05/01/2025 08:47

Yanbu, also got older kids and wouldn't be getting up early just because dh had work. I wfh on Friday. Dh was in bed still and on my tea break I tidied up downstairs so he didn't have to when he got up. He came down about half ten. It's really rare for me to be working and him not so I just let him sleep. Tends to be me up first, some days have been 5am and I love the quiet time to read and drink tea in peace. No way would I want him to get up because I was.

Debtfreegoals · 05/01/2025 08:55

Sounds like he’s jealous! All of us have been having lovely lie ins but I tend to start setting my alarm towards the end to get my routine back to normal before it’s back to work.

DrCoconut · 05/01/2025 09:10

I think a lot of people just need rest. Life is so busy and hectic and being able to just switch off and sleep is becoming a luxury for many. That's unhealthy, recognising that you need rest and taking it is fine. We've been getting up late these holidays after a lurgey filled December.

OTannenbaumOTannenbaum · 05/01/2025 09:12

That's really weird. It just wouldn't occur to my DH to have a go at me about this.

Taking it easy and sleeping and lazy mornings are what holidays are for (if that's how you wish to spend them).

It's 10:10 here, -4 outside and full of snow, and we're still in our jammies after a leisurely breakfast. Kids are playing nicely on the living room floor whilst DH and I have a second coffee. There's been times in the holidays where the kids and I are still sleeping when DH gets up to start work and he just leaves us to it, making sure not to wake us. Your DH sounds bitter or jealous.

Tophelleborine · 05/01/2025 10:03

echt · 05/01/2025 04:28

It is unhealthy to regularly stay in bed most of the day and be up into the small hours, especially in winter when there's so little daylight

How does that work?

Meeses your circadian rythyms up. And you need daylight for vit D.

echt · 05/01/2025 10:16

Tophelleborine · 05/01/2025 10:03

Meeses your circadian rythyms up. And you need daylight for vit D.

Show quote history

You could have said that the first time.

OP's choice anyway.