Was this my fault?

[Whyamisopathetic]

We’ve had a horrible year financially, so DH and I agreed a £50 max spend on each other, give or take, as we are on top of everything now, and want to stay that way.

I wanted to get him something classy he’d love, but obviously £50 doesn’t go far. All the aftershaves he loves were way more so I found myself completely flummoxed.

On Christmas Eve (yes I know) I went into Flannels and saw a lovely leather travel size aftershave case that I could have decanted with any Creed fragrance for £55. The assistant showed me the blue one and told me it came in grey, which she said she much preferred. I said I much preferred the blue.

After much deliberation, I chose the fragrance and paid and she went to decant it. As I was watching her do it, I thought it was weird that she was grasping such a delicate item in a kind of fist, as she was filling it. It was only when she stopped that I could see she’d filled the grey one and not the blue I’d chosen.

i immediately said “Oh! You’ve filled the wrong one, I said I preferred the blue” She said “Oh! I thought you wanted the grey one, and besides we don’t have the blue colour available, but I can give you a couple of free samples” Another assistant (who I think was her manager) was also there. She looked very annoyed and told me they would not give me a refund and I’d have to take it. I kind of just stood there feeling really upset and stupidly said it didn’t matter and was probably my fault.

I’m so upset and angry with myself, because I know it wasn’t my fault and now realise they got me to pay before they’d filled it because they knew I’d see it was the wrong one. I think she held it in her fist to hide the colour on the case, as both had gold tops which is all I could see as she was filling it. I believe the blue one was a display model.

I feel really cheated that the one and only gift I could buy him was the wrong one.

YABU - Accept it was a mistake and forget it

YANBU - It was done on purpose because the blue was out of stock

You might be a bit paranoid to think that they had done it on purpose - they probably get you to pay first to avoid people changing their mind and leaving them with an expensive product that they can't sell. They did make a mistake though, and should have refunded you.
Try calling their customer service number and explaining the situation - I wouldn't say anything about them doing it on purpose or hiding the flask though.

Your voting options don't make sense. Regardless of whether it was a mistake or deliberate, you need to forget about it. You also don't say how your husband felt about the gift. Was he massively disappointed it wasn't blue? I doubt it, somehow... So, in the grand scheme of things, how important is it to still be thinking about it two weeks later?

Clearly on purpose... why ask what you prefer when only one is on offer?!

I'd have kicked up a fuss at the time. Not sure what can be done now and it's not worth losing any sleep if he likes this one just a little less.

I would have asked for a refund, this does not look good for Flannels, hopefully they will see it and contact you, the sales manager was a bully and the sales assistant was deceptive

What did your DH say? Is he very disappointed?

Surely it's "no, that's not what I asked for" would have done

Christ £55 for 5ml of scent though

if the blue was unavailable she should have said so immediately, and clarified if you wanted to purchase it was the grey. Before taking your money. I would send a complaint email

What about the blue one she showed you? How can she show you something, you say you want to buy it, then she gives you something else, excusing herself because the product she just showed was a figment of your imagination?

Yeah, I'd have flatly refused to accept it. 'I clearly said I wanted the blue. I'm sorry if you've taken payment, but I don't want that one, I am not taking it so I need a refund please.'

Definitely complain.

Its annoying but probably a bit late to do anything now, assuming you took it home and gifted it to your DH.

Did he like it? Did he know there was an alternative colour option? Does he care?

I don’t think your suspicion is unreasonable. It’s neither here nor there, though. It isn’t what you asked for and you should have stood your ground and insisted on a refund.

I’m not sure if a complaint weeks later is worthwhile but it can’t hurt. If it gets no where I might be tempted to write some honest online reviews.

I don’t think being continuing to be upset about the colour is useful, though. It is just a colour. I hope, despite that, your DH still enjoyed his present.

I'm not excusing the sales staff, there was obviously a miscommunication; but, if they had told you the blue was out of stock would you have bought the grey one bearing in mind it was Christmas eve and secondly was your dh happy with his gift. I would complain though as they really should have offered you a refund.

So much of this doesn't make sense to me. What do you mean by 'after much deliberation' - what was there to deliberate over? You liked the blue and not the grey - were you deliberating over spending that amount? I wonder if because it took time that she forgot your preference? Or somehow it wasn't clear?

That said, why would she say blue was an option if it wasn't - why even show it to you? That's the point at which you say: "I said I preferred the blue - why would you show it to me it if it's not available? Sorry I need a refund, I said I didn't want the grey one." And then stand your ground - they can't refuse you a refund.

Not sure there's such point posting about it now though - presumably you gave the grey to your husband - did he like it?

Sorry as I say - so much doesn't make sense to me.

No he wasn’t and would never have said if he was but that’s not the point. Obviously hd didn’t get to see the blue one but I know he’d have preferred it. The point is it wasn’t what I asked for but I just felt helpless due to all the crap we’ve gone through and seem unable to stand up for myself anymore.

Would you have had the grey knowing the blue wasn’t available? If yes, no drama lama. If no, go ape shit and complain.

They were absolutely in the wrong to be rude and not to offer a refund immediately. You could have stood there and argued about it/asked for the manager etc, but I don't think you should feel bad that you didn't. It's very difficult to be confrontational when people are being very assertive/aggressive. As the blue one wasn't available and it was Christmas Eve I think I'd just accept the slightly less nice colour combo and be glad I found something, but if you're still upset to the point that you want a refund you could email their head office.

The shop assistant is probably paid commission, and may have done it deliberately to get a sale.
What I don't understand is why you paid for it before she decanted the liquid.
You should have demanded a refund at the time.

I'd write to the head office, explain what happened, mention Mumsnet, and ask for a refund.

What a dull present.

What a dull, awful post.

What a dick remark!

Complain to the head - but honestly if I had £50 to spend I wouldn't be in flannels trying to get a cheap fragrance I think that's why everybodys asking if your DH actually liked the gift

What a mean thing to say.

So, they put the correct fragrance in the wrong color container, have I understood that? If I've understood correctly then I don't understand why she would have offered you the blue if it wasn't available. Having said that the gray is probably nice. I wouldn't give it any more thought. There's really no reason to find any kind of fault.

That's not how I understood it?! I was under the impression that the fragrance comes in the two colours with two different scents and the wrong scent was put in the container, that's why the shop assistant held the fragrance strangely. Now I'm doubting myself.

Either way, OP asked and paid for an item that she was then told wasn't available. There is still an issue.

I think this sounds like a lovely present and I think the issue isn’t the colour, more the fact you feel upset with yourself for not challenging them.

Your husband doesn’t know it’s the “wrong” gift, does he? I think you’re transferring your stress from a financially difficult year onto this.

Personally, to me, it sounds like you went to a lot of thought and effort over this and the Flannels staff were pretty crappy.

When you’re stressed and things have been tough it’s really easy to freeze and not advocate for yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. I really hope this year is better 🌻