Was this my fault?

[Whyamisopathetic]

We’ve had a horrible year financially, so DH and I agreed a £50 max spend on each other, give or take, as we are on top of everything now, and want to stay that way.

I wanted to get him something classy he’d love, but obviously £50 doesn’t go far. All the aftershaves he loves were way more so I found myself completely flummoxed.

On Christmas Eve (yes I know) I went into Flannels and saw a lovely leather travel size aftershave case that I could have decanted with any Creed fragrance for £55. The assistant showed me the blue one and told me it came in grey, which she said she much preferred. I said I much preferred the blue.

After much deliberation, I chose the fragrance and paid and she went to decant it. As I was watching her do it, I thought it was weird that she was grasping such a delicate item in a kind of fist, as she was filling it. It was only when she stopped that I could see she’d filled the grey one and not the blue I’d chosen.

i immediately said “Oh! You’ve filled the wrong one, I said I preferred the blue” She said “Oh! I thought you wanted the grey one, and besides we don’t have the blue colour available, but I can give you a couple of free samples” Another assistant (who I think was her manager) was also there. She looked very annoyed and told me they would not give me a refund and I’d have to take it. I kind of just stood there feeling really upset and stupidly said it didn’t matter and was probably my fault.

I’m so upset and angry with myself, because I know it wasn’t my fault and now realise they got me to pay before they’d filled it because they knew I’d see it was the wrong one. I think she held it in her fist to hide the colour on the case, as both had gold tops which is all I could see as she was filling it. I believe the blue one was a display model.

I feel really cheated that the one and only gift I could buy him was the wrong one.

YABU - Accept it was a mistake and forget it

YANBU - It was done on purpose because the blue was out of stock

I don't understand why you left the shop with something you didn't want?

Don’t feel bad that you didn’t feel able to deal with it at the time, you were under pressure and you wanted to leave with a nice gift for your DH. I’m sure he loved it, he might even not have preferred the blue.

But yes, you should complain. The sales staff pulled a fast one and they knew it. It reflects badly on the company and hopefully they’ll recognise this and offer you something to restore your confidence in them. I agree with the pp who said don’t mention them deliberately hiding the colour of the bottle.

With respect, are you sure this is about the colour of the container? Would you normally get upset and preoccupied by this sort of thing?

or is it that things have been a bit shit and this was just the last straw?! Reminds me of when I’m all stressed out and/or tired and then a thing that wouldn’t normally bother me completely enrages me!!

have you got any outlets for how you’re feeling? Any ways to help you relax? It does sound like you’ve been having a hard time x

If you don't have anything kind or helpful to contribute, why don't you just keep quiet.

OP, I'm sorry you had such a rubbish year. I can understand why you felt you couldn't stand up to the sales assistant and the manager, but I would definitely complain now, get it off your chest, see if you can get some closure. Ready shoddy behaviour from them.

At least you've put all of MN off going to Flannels!!

That’s an unpleasant, uncalled for comment.

I think OP has explained this in a bit of a confusing way or gave unnecessary details which has maybe confused some people. I understood what she meant though as I have one from Penhaligons.

This is what she bought: https://www.creedfragrances.co.uk/products/refillable-travel-perfume-atomiser-5ml-grey

It’s a fragrance atomiser. You can reuse it and put whatever fragrance you like in it, eg to keep your perfume bottle at home but take some with you when travelling.

OP preferred this colour: https://www.creedfragrance.com/travel-atomiser-5ml/13996925.html

The right scent was filled in the wrong atomiser. When OP queried this they said they were out of stock.

They did ask you if you still wanted it being in the grey. I don't see the pressure it's just a question.

Simple no thanks and walk out. Your DH likes it so what's the harm now

Having seen both colours, I do think the blue is gorgeous but the grey is more understated. The blue is more in your face and therefore less versatile.

Definitely contact the retailer and complain if you feel misled, but I do think overall it’s still a nice gift.

For future reference the Penhaligon atomisers are slightly cheaper so would have been inside your budget and it comes in blue too.

Thanks for the links @MJconfessions

@Custardslices , she said she preferred the blue and paid, but the assistant gave her the grey.

That’s annoying but try not to overthink it as it’s done and dusted now.

You need to forget about finding fault in this situation and instead use the frustrating experience to ensure you act more assertively in future when you feel pushed into a corner by someone.

I think the way the assistant held it was probably just to keep the bottle very steady and avoid spillage, rather than to hide the colour. The more senior assistant sounds bullying and rude . She may have thought you’d just changed your mind re the colour, rather than that you’d asked for the blue, and that is an issue for them as once it’s filled it is harder to sell, they need to wait for another customer who wants the same cologne. So it could have been a mistake rather than deliberate. It’s still terrible customer service though, she should have listened to you, established the mistake, apologised and refunded you.
Contact the retailer and explain, it’s not ok to make a customer feel like this.

Thanks! That makes perfect sense but I did not get that at all from the OP… looks to be just me 🤦🏼‍♀️

its an entirely different product really. I’d be moaning to duck.

Sorry for not being clear @Arlanymor

No, I said straight away I preferred the blue. I meant deliberating about which aftershave to have it filled with. I didn’t keep the assistant waiting. I sprayed two or three and wondered around for a bit until I’d decided, probably only 20 mins. It wasn’t busy at all, so not like she’d forgotten who I was. I absolutely should have stood my ground, but the second assistant looked so angry and told me in no uncertain terms I had to take it and it wouldn’t be refunded.

Isn't Flannels owned by Mike Ashley now? Probably why the service was so bad.

Gosh, that’s rude!

True, some people can't understand that other people live within their means and don't run up massive credit card bills on presents.

Please tell us all what exciting gift you would have bought for £50?

I'm not sure you can do anything now. It's too late.

Like I say I tried that but she was havinv none if it. I think we’ve all let people get away with stuff when we’ve had a crap time and not feeling very robust. It was really stupid of me.

yeah £55 was ridiculous! An all round bad idea.

He did but I guess I’m annoyed because I know he’d have preferred blue and as it was his only gift, I felt upset that it wasn’t what I’d wanted for him.

I think it sounds really nice actually.

However I wouldn’t have accepted it OP. I’d have just said “sorry that’s not what I wanted, I’ll leave it thanks” & left before it got too stressful.

I understand you feel upset that you didn't speak up more in the shop, but you really must be kinder to yourself. At the time you did your best and in the grand scheme of things it shouldn't matter as much as it seems to be- So could there be something else going on in your life upsetting you?

Knowing that your budget is limited and then to hand over money for the wrong colour must be annoying. On a positive It's good your husband liked the gift.

Maybe the shop assistant was being unprofessional, maybe not, these sort of things happen all the time everywhere. Did you feel a bit paranoid or anxious? This may have distorted how you perceived events. I don't feel complaining now would be good for anyone, but learning from the experience and moving on in your own way would be.

I wouldn’t have bought the grey one no! I didn’t particularly like it. I’d have given him a gift voucher for the store.

He was happy but if he’d seen the blue he’d have 100% chosen that one.

@Adamante shed already paid and they refused a refund. Unless I misunderstood that too 🤣