To think I'm not lazy, I just need a lot more sleep than the average person?

[isthisnormalll]

I sleep around 7.5-8 hours on weekdays, and I get up at the last possible moment at 8:30am, so not even ridiculously early. But on weekends I need at least one of the days to be a lie in otherwise I am exhausted. Today I slept 12 hours, and woke up at 12:30pm. When I have time off work, I will sleep naturally 10-12 hours a night everyday - even for weeks on end. On holidays with other people I have sometimes been close to tears because the sleep is not enough despite us all getting back to the hotel the same time and waking up at the same time.

I have always been like this, I don't have children (everyone tells me I'll change if I have children and get used to having no sleep). No health conditions, no sleep apnoea, etc.

AIBU to think that some people do genuinely need more sleep than others?

I think so as I'm similar. I need a good solid 8/9 hrs a night and can easily sleep 10-12 at a weekend/when I dont need to get up.

It sounds like you’re going to bed around midnight if you wake up at 8.30 after 8 hours of sleep. What happens if you go to bed earlier during the week, does it mean you need less sleep at the weekend?

Maybe you're not getting enough sleep during the week if you genuinely sleep 12+ hours a night at weekends.

What happens if you go to bed earlier?

It sounds like you're going to bed very late? Having 12 hours isn't usual but if you were sleeping that long from earlier in the evening it wouldn't seem so unusual e.g 10-10? What happens if you go to bed earlier?

I'm just like you. Having my first DD almost broke me, but I learned to sleep at the same time with her and same w/ DD2 (co-sleeping saved my life). I've always been like this. As a child, my mother said as I slept so long she got so much housework done, so my younger Dsis were a shock for her as they were normal sleepers. As a teenager, I'd sleep 13-14 hours. Group vacations and summer camps were hell for me, despite the fact I'm an extrovert and loving being with others. I'm not overweight, I don't have sleep apnea and I have healthy sleep habits, fall asleep easily, sleep soundly and dream regularly. I'm an entrepreneur now where I can be flexible and get enough sleep, but former 8-5 jobs w/ long commutes were brutal for me.

I dated a guy once with the same sleep needs as me...we didn't get on in other aspects of life, but boy, we could sleep long and well together (and I mean literally sleep). It was the only time I wasn't judged as lazy by a boyfriend for not getting up early if I didn't have to.

I'm in my 50s now, and I'm curious what will happen when I'm in my 70s or later because apparently you don't need as much sleep then.

I've always seemed to need a lot of sleep too, OP. I remember being at clubs when I was a teenager, and thinking longingly of my bed waiting for me at home, a right laugh I must have been 😂

Now that I am much older, I still go to bed around 9pm and sleep 10-12 hours per night. I am great if I get enough sleep for me, but I really feel it if I have not got all of the sleep I need.

Sometimes it has annoyed me that I need all this sleep, because I feel like I have missed out on things over the years but it is the way I am.

By very definition ' average' is a combination of more and less, so many people will be like you and need more sleep, others will be at the other end of the range and need much less. I'm at the less end of the range generally.

To me, it would be far too late if I went to bed the time you went to bed. I wouldn't cope. I'd be exhausted to tears

I'm exactly the same and think I was just born with low energy. I can't cope when tired and just feel miserable. I would just accept that's the way you are.

I think people vary massively in their sleep patterns and needs. Some people need tons, others less.

I have to say though I think 12 hours is excessive. I think sleeping a lot is addictive though. Your body feels like it needs it because it’s used to it.

You’re not doing any harm obviously but don’t you feel like you’re missing out on doing stuff at weekends? I would find it frustrating being with someone who was sleeping half the day. I think it’s probably something you could train yourself out of.

Some people only need 5 hours sleep so it's not a stretch to accept that some people need 12.

I was the same sleeping easily 12/14 hours at the weekend and had been like this for years. Had my thyroid tested and it was really out of whack. I am now on thyroid medication and can't sleep longer than 8 hours.

I guess people do have different sleep needs and if it isn't affecting anyone else than it shouldn't matter. I would wonder if you have some sort of deficiency or something that makes your body take longer to recover. Would you describe yourself as healthy otherwise?

Definitely wouldn't have kids in your position though!

No, it's not unreasonable. I've known for a long time people require different amounts of sleep. I think it also depends on the quality of sleep you get, someone with low quality sleep will need more sleep.

I normally sleep on average about 4-5 hours so I'm at the opposite end of the sleep spectrum.

But when I'm on holiday I'm like you and get about 10-12 hours.

It just depends on what your body wants.

I'm the same and haven't changed since having children. DH gives me a lie in Saturday morning and I have naps when needed..plus DD is a good sleeper and not an early riser so I got lucky there. I can wake early when I need to do something like travel, work etc but I would actually feel close to tears when DD woke up early when she was younger, and that was hardly ever

I think a lot depends on the quality of your sleep. I slept really badly most of my life, and after 8 hours in bed was barely getting to the point where I was getting into deep sleep.

When all of a sudden I started falling asleep quickly and sleeping well (thank you menopause!) I realised I actually need very little sleep and after a solid 6 hours I'm perfectly fine. And it turned out that dh, who for decades got up hours before me and tiptoed down to let me have a lie-in, actually needs more sleep than me.

I don’t disagree with you. I need so much more sleep than my partner.

That being said sleep before midnight is worth so much more than sleep after. Circadian rhythm stuff that I can’t recite off the top of my head.

DD is like this - has always needed 10-14 hours a night. It is very odd to me but that is how she is. She is very pretty and I tell her this is because of all the beauty sleep. When she was little she slept 16-18 hours a day if I let her - right until she was 11/12. She is ND and has a very high IQ - I think her brain gets really burned out and exhausted.

I need nana naps & lots of sleep. However, I recently found out I have a significant iron deficiency and looking back, it explains a lot!

Have you had your bloods checked?

Another questioning why you go to bed so late if you need your sleep?

im another who just needs 8hours sleep (don’t always get it due to child- another story) but as I need to get up around 6:30am I go to bed around 10-10:30pm, except on weekends.

im sure I read something about it being better for your body to sleep while it’s dark and be awake when it’s light (which is why night shift workers often feel tired even after 8hours sleep during the day). You might be better aiming to go to bed much earlier.

I can run for a while on not much sleep but then I crash and sleep for 12 hours straight. If I can get 9 hours a night, I'm good, but functional on 5 hours for a few days, if I have to be. When my kids were small I spent around 10 years getting 4 hours or so a night, and now I'm in my sixties I'm making up for lost time!

Incidentally, I remember reading that there was a link between lack of sleep and dementia. Was that ever a proven link, and did they ever research the effects on mothers, who've often had many years of sleep deprivation?

I agree about it being addictive. It's the same with naps yet the past few days without naps I have felt better yet had convinced myself I needed them.